Betrayed
by mamasutra
Summary: EPOV of Broken: What if the one person who was bound to love you and be loyal betrayed in you in a manner that was unforgivable? Could you ever forgive? What if it was you that that kept hurting the person you were destined to love?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Betrayed; EPOV of Broken

I first moved to the tiny, rainy town of Forks, Washington when I was 10 years old. My dad took over at their hospital as chief of surgery, if you could call it that, causing us to move away from our home in Chicago. I left everything that I loved behind and instead came here with my mom and brother Emmett.

Emmett was my twin brother, fraternal twin brother. We were no more alike than if we had been born years apart, but people forgot that when they discovered that we were twins. Emmett was actually older than me by 4 minutes. He also was larger and dumber if you ask me.

We had nothing in common. He liked to play sports and I liked to read. He was a bit of a jack ass and I was serious. There were times that I wondered if we were really related at all, but mom liked to remind me all the time that he was my brother and a brother's love was unbreakable as was their loyalty.

My first day at Forks Elementary school was in the 4th grade and was traumatic at best. I was in one room and Emmett was in another per my request. I had thought that by having Em in another room that I might be able to get out from underneath his shadow, but as I stood in front of a room full of kids who stared at me like I was a side show freak I really started to regret my decision.

I remember the morning going slow and no one talking to me. I then, remember having to go to a much smaller room for advanced English. There were 5 kids in the room, 2 girls sitting together that I come to know as Jessica Stanley and Angela Webber. There were also 2 boys sitting together that I would learn to be Tyler Crowley and Ben Cheney. There was one girl all by herself at a table.

She had long dark brown hair that was in some sort of a braided pony tail and the biggest brown eyes that I had ever seen before. They were intimidating and bottomless, like a vat of melted chocolate. I remember having to introduce myself to the class since there were kids in there from the other class that I had not met yet. I remember how it felt to have the kids staring at me once more as if I was a freak and all the kids stared except the girl by herself.

I remember her looking up at me from the notebook that she was writing in with her big expressive brown eyes. She gave me a small smile. I could see her warmth in her eyes and then she looked back to her notebook as if I was no big deal. I knew right then that I would have sit by her.

When I was seated she introduced herself as Isabella Swan, but preferred to be called Bella, which suited her better if you asked me. Her eyes kept drawing me in and even at the tender age of 10 I knew that she was special.

It was round about this time that my life and Bella's became forever intertwined. It all started over a trip to the grocery store.

I was with mom and Emmett as we pulled into the grocery store parking lot. I could see Bella walking in the cold wind with her long dark hair flying around her like some sort of crazy halo as she pulled an older looking wagon behind her. She had her black sweat shirt zipped up, but she still looked cold.

"Who is that?" mom asked with concern her in voice as she looked over at who I was staring at.

"That's Isabella Swan," Em said all proud like, as if mom should give him a treat for being correct.

"Bella," I quickly corrected knowing how much it irritated her to be called to be called by her full name. She said it was too formal to be her name.

Bella Swan had become the topic of town gossip and had taken the heat off my family, for which I would be grateful for eternity. Her mom had left her dad for the young high school football coach in a very dramatic fashion by quitting her teaching job without any notice and then skipping town with him while Charlie Swan was at work. The coldest part about her leaving was that she left poor Bella to walk home in the rain, with no access into the house. I guess Bella sat on the front porch in the rain for 4 hours waiting for her Dad to get home. I had asked her once why she didn't leave to go to a neighbor's house or something to call Charlie. She told me that she was scared that if she left her porch that her dad would come home, see no one there and leave her too. I have always thought that Renee needed to be shot for treating her daughter like that.

At the grocery store we watched Bella leave the wagon by the entrance and walk inside with a notebook in hand. I had always thought that Bella was interesting since I could never tell what she was thinking or how she would react to things so watching her had become second nature for me. I watched as she grabbed a cart and proceeded to shop. The funny thing about me watching was that my mom was too.

Mom and I watched Bella check off things from what appeared to be her grocery list. We watched her read labels and inspect produce, all the while adults passed her with a sorrowful look on their faces, but not one person stopped to help her.

She was amazing to watch as she pretty face would scrunch up in concentration as she looked at things determining what the better deal for her buy was. As I watched her I could not help but to think about the fact that I was not trusted to pick out cereal and this girl my age was trusted to grocery shop. It was sad and I was not the only person who thought so. I looked up at my mother who was watching her with a calculating look when suddenly Emmett started to whine louder.

He had been following behind us whining about us taking too long since he wanted to go home and watch cartoons. When he finally realized that we were watching the girl he stopped whining.

"What is she doing?" he practically yelled and as quickly tried to _shhh_ him it was too late; Bella had noticed that we were following her. She turned towards us with a cute annoyed looked that she quickly covered up before saying hello to Emmett and me with a soft pink on her cheeks from the blush that seemed to grace her every time she was embarrassed.

My mom made quick work of this opportunity and soon we were placing her wagon in the back of our minivan after she had finished shopping to give her a ride home with her groceries. I knew my mom. I knew as she looked over at a very embarrassed Bella who sat in the front seat by her that she was thinking about this girl who was left alone too often in a town that didn't care about her. I knew that she was thinking of some way to swoop in help her since that was what my mom did. It was her calling since most people did not know that mom had a family that basically abandoned her and her sister so she had a soft spot for the lost and lonely since at one time it had been her.

At Bella's house Em and I carried the groceries to her meticulously clean kitchen. She had invited us in for an ice tea as means of saying thanks for our kindness and we all sat there talking. Bella was great host. Mom questioned her a bit about the house and we discovered that she was the one who cleaned it since her dad was in no mood for such things as she put it. I sat there in shock as I looked around at the amazingly tidy house that was cared for by a 10 year old all the while thinking about how I barely cleaned my own room, mom really did it for me.

When we left mom drove down the street and then pulled over for a moment to cry before collecting herself, all the while Em kept bothering her over why she was crying. I had always wondered if he really was that dumb, but that day he proved. He couldn't see that mom could see herself in our classmate.

After that day Bella was around more. I am not sure how mom managed it, but suddenly Bella was with us almost all the time. I didn't mind, like I said Bella was interesting.

One night that summer she went with us to Emmett's baseball game. God, how I hated going to his games. I hated how people would fawn over him. I hated that it took forever and that I was forced to go, but this time Bella with us, so I hoped for a better time.

We sat there and I waited for her to become transfixed over what an amazing athlete Emmet was, but she barely looked his direction much to my delight. She had brought a book and pulled it out to start to read. I could see Emmett's face fall from the dugout as he noticed that Bella was not interested in his activities like every other person there. I wondered why he had not noticed that Bella was not like every other person in this town. She was different.

The game had barely started and Bella kept talking about the books she was reading. Soon I found myself asking mom if we could walk over to Bella's to get a book and come back, which mom happily agreed to. We walked the empty streets of Forks, talking and laughing until we reached her house. She had a key this time since her father made sure that she would never be locked out again.

We went in, grabbed a snack and then went to her room. Her room was purple. There was purpled everywhere. I discovered that purpled had been her mother's favorite color while her's was black, but her dad would not let her color everything black. When I looked at her I saw bright colors like, hot pink or bright blue so the purple did not fit.

She had two jam packed book shelves and I quickly went out finding a book to read. We sat there on her bed, talking and laughing about books that we had read until we settled in and started to read. We sat side by side, resting against pillows against her head board as we read. I could hear her breathing or her sigh and the turning of pages as she became lost in the story. It was comforting and I knew at that very moment that I had found a lifelong friend that was mine alone, I just didn't know at the time that I was destined to break her heart.

**AN:**

**Thank you for reading! Ok, this is the start of the Edward POV for Broken. I am trying my best not to have to be a rehashing of Broken unless it is necessary for the plot so I hope his take will be interesting for you. ** **In this version you'll get a better idea of how he gets along with Em and what happens once he leaves Bella.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	2. The Kiss

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

EPOV of Broken

The years passed and as they did Bella and I grew closer. She quickly became my best friend with her sharp wit and snarky come backs. I loved spending time with her, unfortunately so did Emmett. Their friendship had grown as well, but Bella never looked at him like she looked at me.

One night when I was supposed to be asleep I could hear voices from down stairs talking. It was Charlie Swan, Bella's dad, and my parents discussing us. Charlie was concerned that we were all about 14 and still hanging out together so closely.

He was concerned about his daughter with two boys. Looking back at the moment I can see why he was concerned, but at the time I thought it was absolutely stupid. I had never thought of Bella as anything except Bella and to me she was not a girl. I mean, I knew she wasn't a boy, but I tried not to think about her as a girl, that all changed for me the next day.

The following morning I walked into Bella's room unannounced like I always did. We had just converted our guest room into her room by painting hot pink, trimmed in black. I had talked her in to hot pink since that was the first color I saw when I looked at her as we met 4 years ago.

I opened her door and walked in to discover that she was standing there naked from the shower. She had grabbed her towel quickly, but it was too late since I had already seen her without her clothes. I stood there like an idiot for a moment before turning, walking out without saying anything to her.

I went back to my room and closed my eyes, but I could still see her creamy skin, her perfect breasts and the amazing curve of her hips. I remember being shocked by it. I could not help, but to think how in the world did she grow into a woman's body without me noticing. I had noticed every other girl in our class develop, but somehow Bella passed through without detection and she practically lived with me.

I sat down on my bed and tried to focus on the fact that she was still Bella. She was still my best friend, it didn't matter that she had breast and was a girl. I closed my eyes, but the image of her naked and perfect was right behind my eyes.

"What are you doing?" Emmett asked, startling me since I did not hear him come into my room.

"Leave me alone," I snapped back at him since I was already irritated with him that morning.

"You are so weird," he mumbled as he left, leaving me alone as I had requested.

I took a deep breath and decided that I could act like there was nothing out of the ordinary. Bella was still my best friend, the only person that I really counted as a friend at all, so I could go back to pretending that she was asexual.

Once I gathered myself enough to make it down stairs for breakfast I found a very red faced Bella sitting at the kitchen table staring a little too intensely into her bowl of apple cinnamon oatmeal. It was her favorite and mom made it for her every school morning that she stayed with us. I had to make a decision right there concerning how I would handle talking to Bella after seeing her naked and being the 14 year old boy that I was I decided to ignore her.

I thought that if I ignored her that we could pretend that it did not happen. It was a good thought in theory, but real life is different. She was almost impossible to ignore.

At school I tried to act as if everything was fine, but it was hard since I kept thinking back to Bella. I had to sit by her in 3 out of my 7 classes. The other 4 classes she was in, but we had to sit apart, which was fine since I could watch her from a distance.

I spent the next few days avoiding her, which was hard since she was around all the time. I would watch her from a distance and think about her wet and naked from the shower. I would think about her skin and how soft it looked. I would think about her breast, since they were amazing. They were perfectly shaped and shocking big for her frame. I wondered how she hid them so well, but then figured that it must be the baggy clothes that she swears that covered up her curves.

It was night time that was much harder to stay away from her since she was just across the hall from me. I would usually just go into her room and crawl into bed with her to read until she fell asleep, but since I was still trying to convince myself that I could look at Bella as the old Bella, not the new and improved Bella with amazing breast she was becoming that was not an option for me.

Bella seemed to have taken over my brain since she was all I thought about. The most disturbing to me at the time was that I would think of her and only her when I jacked off. At the time when I was 14 masturbation was still fairly new to me and so my fantasies were simple. It was mostly me thinking of her skin, her hips, her breast, her face and that was enough to get me to come.

I knew that I wanted to kiss her. I knew that I wanted to touch her and I knew that I wanted her to touch me, but in all reality I had no idea what else I would do with her if I had a chance. I was just hoping that nature would take over and guide me if ever given that chance with her.

All of these wants were new and shocking to me so the stronger I felt like this the more I avoided her. It was becoming obvious to others around us that something was off. I found my mom scowling at me and Bella avoiding my gaze. I wanted to feel bad about it, but I couldn't. I was still working on dealing with my feelings for Bella and that was almost too much to take.

One night during my avoidance of Bella I found myself going down stairs as a means to prevent myself from walking into her room. I walked out to the kitchen to grab a drink and found my father sitting at the table with a sandwich made and just about ready to eat.

He looked at me knowingly as if he could read my mind and I found myself blushing a bit. I suddenly had compassion for Bella and her blushes at that moment. It was horrible to have such a tale tell sign that that something was affecting you.

"You want the other half?' he asked me as he gestured towards the sandwich so I agreed even though I wasn't really hungry.

I walked over to the table and sat down across from him to take the half of sandwich from him.

"You want to talk about what is going?" he asked me as I took a bite. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, all the while praying that he would drop it, but of course he wouldn't.

"You know, your mom thinks you are being an ass to Bella," he said very matter of factly as if it was no big deal. I just rolled my eyes at him which made him chuckle a little.

"Well, obviously something happened since whenever mom asks Bella about it she turns red and well, here you are sitting like the perfect picture of teenage avoidance. So, why don't you just tell me so we can get past it," he said with a sigh as he looked at me with a knowing smile. I hated it when he was all knowing.

I found myself taking a deep breath and telling him about walking in on Bella. I told him how she had taken over my brain and she was all I could think about now. I told him how disturbing I found it to be since she was my best friend and I should not think of her like that. I sat there once I had finished talking and waited for my dad's judgment. It was nerve racking as I waited for him to make his comment concerning my dilemma.

I watched as his look of concern morphed into one of amusement as he started to laugh at me. The asshole was laughing at me and this would not be the last time he would laugh at me when it came to Bella.

"Oh God, Edward!" he chuckled as he looked at me with an amused smile. I could not believe that this was the reaction I was getting from him. I found myself getting angry as he continued to laugh, which only made him laugh louder.

"So you like her, big deal," he responded as he saw that I was pissed.

"I do not like her," I spat at him in an angry tone. Dad only cocked an eyebrow at me as if to say _really?_

"Ok, I like her, but not like that," I counted back weakly. I hated weakness.

"It's ok to be attracted to Bella. She is beautiful and smart and funny and I could go on and on," dad teased as he looked at me with an amused smirk on his face.

"No, it's not ok to be attracted to her. She's my best friend and it's not right to think of her like that," I replied in a hushed tone as I thought of how Bella could possibly hear us and she was the last person I wanted to know about this.

"No, it's ok and perfectly normal. What isn't ok is treating her poorly because you can't handle the fact that you like her. I won't tolerate it Edward. You need to figure out what you want concerning Bella, but in the mean time you better be decent to her," he said with a warning in his voice making it clear that he would hand me my ass if I did not change my attitude toward Bella. I understood the threat, but I was lost on what he meant by figuring out what I want from Bella.

"What do you mean?"I asked him sounding confused even to me.

"What I mean, is if you can't be nice I will paddle your ass and don't think I still can't do it," he said in a menacing tone as he smirked evilly at me.

"No, I got that part. What do you mean figure out what I want?" I asked him confused.

"What I mean is you need to figure out if you are just attracted to her because she's beautiful and that's it or if you want to be romantically involved with her," he said with a laugh at my stupidity.

"Romantically involved?" I asked him as I looked at him startled at the idea of it all.

"Go to bed Edward," he said with a soft laugh as he shook his head at me as if he could not believe me.

I went to bed that night thinking about Bella as I had in the past few days. I knew he was right. It wasn't ok for me to be a dick to Bella, just because I was freaking out over thinking of her all the time. I promised myself that I would change that and I would start right now.

I got out of bed and grabbed my book to head across the hall to Bella's room like I had countless times in the past. There was light streaming out from under the door, telling me that she was awake. I opened her door without knocking and I'll admit now that a small part of me hoped that she was naked again. I looked over at her bed and found her sitting with her book in her lap with a startled look on her face with her clothes on no less.

I walked over to her bed and got in, basically pushing her over to the other side so I could have room beside her like I always did. I did all of this without speaking and once I was settled the silence in the room seemed deafening to me. I had my book open, but I could seem to bring myself to read. I found myself staring at her as she read her book.

I looked at her, I mean, really looked at her and I was shocked over all that I had missed somehow. Bella was beautiful. I knew that she was pretty, but I had missed how beautiful she truly was. She had perfect skin. It was pale and smooth like porcelain and when she blushed her coloring resembled roses and cream. She had perfect cheek bones and a small chin. Her eyes were dark brown like chocolate and were framed in long, thick lashes. Her lips were a warm rose color and somewhat full. They looked soft and inviting.

I found myself wanting to kiss them once more. It was an odd burning in my belly that wanted me to grab her face and kiss her. It was an overpowering feeling as I looked at her while she tried to read.

Bella looked over at me, but did not speak; she only cocked a perfectly shaped eye brow as if asking me what the hell was wrong with me. I decided at that moment that I needed to kiss her; it wasn't just a want any more. It was now a need.

I moved in the bed so that we were facing each other. Our knees touched as we sat cross legged in front of each other. I could see that she was nervous all of a sudden so I found myself talking as if to ease her nerves.

"I just want to try something," I whispered to her softly as I moved closer once more as our knees touched again as she blushed her beautiful blush just for me.

I sat there in debating whether or not to kiss this girl. This was the girl who got me better than anyone else. This was the girl I told everything to. This was the girl who was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my entire life and I had just noticed it.

The thought entered my head if I had just noticed it was a matter of time before the other guys noticed as well. They would see my best friend, my Bella, for the insanely smart, amazing, beautiful girl that she was. I knew the moment that the others would see her for who she was I would lose her. I could not bear the thought of losing her.

It was with that thought I had made up my mind. I would kiss this girl. I would kiss her and convince her that there was no other guy for her, but me.

I leaned forward and cupped her face in my hands. I wanted to giggle a little how surprised she was by my actions. I leaned closer and pressed my lips to her mouth that was slightly open in surprise. I closed my eyes and softly started to kiss her lips, all the while praying that I was doing this right. I had never really kissed a girl before, so this was a first for me.

I kissed her softly, hoping that she would respond since if she didn't this would be worse than seeing her naked. There would be no coming back for me after kissing her like this. I felt the panic that rejection causes settle in slowly as Bella remained frozen in place. I was just starting to pull away to face the humiliation of rejection when I felt Bella's hands go up to my hair.

She was playing with the hair at the back of my neck which caused a shudder to rip through me. There was something in her touch that felt like electricity on my skin. It was all the encouragement that I needed to continue on.

Her mouth opened a little and I soon found myself sweeping my tongue along her's. It was the sexiest thing that I had ever encountered. She tasted like toothpaste and something sweet that I could only place going forward as being just Bella.

We kissed, tongues tangling and stroking against each other. It was sweet, hot and somewhat awkward. I found myself getting lost in the moment as I stroked her check as I kissed. I wanted to press her into the mattress and feel her body against mine. I wanted to feel her closer to me.

I was rock hard and throbbing as I felt her mouth against mine, her tongue sliding erotically against mine. It was all so new and so disturbing at the same time. I wanted this girl, and it scared me a bit.

Bella slid unto my lap and as she did she came into direct contact with my hard on. It was embarrassing and yet, I wanted her continue to press against me there. I knew that I needed to stop our kissing before it went too far. I didn't know what too far was at the time, but I knew that we were pushing boundaries that we shouldn't.

I pulled back from our fantastic kiss and looked at her. Bella's face was flushed red and her lips were swollen from kissing me. She was gasping for air and she had a wild, lusty look in her eyes as she stared back, looking kind of pissed that I stopped our kiss as I did.

I found myself doing a mental victory dance like the huge dork I was. I had done this to her. Her lips were swollen from kissing me. She was panting for air because of me. It was a powerful feeling and I was drunk off of that feeling as well as from her kiss.

I moved on the bed so I was beside her once more all the while trying to hide my erection which as pretty obvious in my shorts. I tried to slow my breathing as I grabbed my book to hide my hard on, hoping to bring some normalcy back to the room for us.

Bella kept watching me. Her expression was unreadable. I had no idea how she was reacting to me kissing her. I could only hope that it was a good one since I knew that I would need to kiss her again after that.

"Go to sleep Bella," I said softly to her with a sigh as she looked at me with her big, bottomless brown eyes. How could I have missed how stunning she was?

Bella lay back in the bed as I slouched down by her with my book in hand. She moved closer so that we were touching still causing me to smile once more since I was glad that she had done that. I wanted to be close to her as well.

I tried to read as she closed her eyes and slowly drifted into sleep. I waited as until I was sure she was a sleep before lying down beside her. I pulled her close to me so that she was pressed completely against me. I marveled over how she fit in my arms, against my side as if she was made just for me. I breathed in her hair and smiled as I smelled the strawberry shampoo that she used.

It was at the moment that I knew that this small girl would always own me. I knew that I would always belong to her, even if I didn't want to.

**An:**

**Hello all! I will keep trying to work to catch up Edward's story so that we are more closely matched with Bella's since I know you are all dying to find out why he left her and what happened back home when he was there. Once more, thanks for reading the story!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	3. Tanya

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The summer past and as it did I spent my days with Bella. We would read together and then I would kiss her silly. I craved her like a person craves food. I kiss her until she couldn't breathe and her heart was pounding in her chest. It was amazing and looking back it was one of the better summers of my childhood.

One day as the summer was drawing to a close I was at the dinner picking up food for mom. She had sent me off while she and Bella finished up dessert for us. I sat there waiting for our food to be done when in walked Tanya Denali along with her friends. She looked at me and said hello, which was odd since Tanya never spoke to me before. Before I had a chance to recover from her greeting she was sitting with me at the table asking about my summer.

Tanya was beautiful with long, curly strawberry blonde hair, a cute face and ice blue eyes. Most of the guys in town were constantly trying to get her to go out so to have her sitting with me with quite the ego booster. She talked and flirted with me. It was shocking to me anyway that she would take an interest in me like that and as I was called to pick up our food she asked for my phone number while giving me hers.

The rest of the night at home went well, but at about 8 o'clock the phone rang and it was Tanya. She was calling to ask me over the next day to hang out. I said yes before I had a chance to think about it. Looking back I should have said no. I was kind of dating Bella even though we had not told anyone. My parents had no idea that I spent a portion of the night in her room holding and kissing her. If they had known dad would have killed me and there was no doubt in my mind about that.

I went into Bella's room that night and just held her to me. I wanted to tell her that I was invited over to Tanya's, but I didn't. I should have, but I didn't.

The next day I stayed away from Bella and told her that I was going to friend's house. She never questioned who and I never told her. I remember feeling sick as I walked up to Tanya's house, but it didn't stop me from going. I kept thinking about how this amazing popular girl was interested in me. She could have anyone she wanted in town and she was interested in me.

That afternoon was the first afternoon of many that I spent with Tanya. She was sweet to me and very flirty. She would lead away to her room and we would make out until her older step brother came home. Once he was there I had to sneak out the window, which only made it more exciting. I would come home with a huge grin on my face from the thrill of almost being caught as well as being wanted.

It one afternoon like that when I came home and found Emmett sitting in the kitchen as if he was waiting for me. He had a serious look on his face and Bella was nowhere to be found. I looked at him with a smirk as I thought about Tanya and how her lips tasted like bubblegum as I walked by him.

"I know where you were," he said with an irritated tone that surprised me. I stopped and looked at him. He was pissed and instantly I knew that Bella had told him about us. He must have seen the fear in my eyes since he started to laugh at me.

"If you don't tell her I will," he said as he looked at me as the laughter drained out of his voice leaving nothing but hardness.

"Tell her what?" I countered back as cocky as I could. I knew what he was talking about, but I wanted to hear him say it.

"I will tell Bella that you have been over with Tanya," he countered, showing his cards. I looked at him and I wanted to believe that he wouldn't do that to me, but I didn't know since Em and I had never been close.

"Go ahead and tell her. There is nothing going on between Bella and me," I countered back, lying to him, hoping like hell he would believe it.

"Nothing huh? You have been making out with her for weeks now and Bella is so wrapped up in you that it makes me want to puke," he said with a disgusted look on his face as if the idea of Bella being me revolted him. I stood there reeling at the idea of Bella being wrapped up in me. I was only 15 now and the last thing I needed was a serious girlfriend.

"That was nothing. That was just something between friends," I countered back lying again. I knew what I had with Bella was more than that, but I was not about to admit that out loud.

"Nothing, well, we'll just see about that," he said softly in a menacing tone as he walked away. I told myself he was just jealous, but I knew the truth. He was just looking out for Bella and what I was doing was wrong, but I couldn't seem to be able to stop.

I liked how Tanya looked at me. I liked the power that came with being with her. I liked that for the first time in my life other people knew me as Edward, not as Emmett's brother. I liked the power too much and because of that it was not something I could stop.

I knew that I needed to tell Bella, but I couldn't. Every time I thought I could say the words _Hey Bella. I like you, but I don't think we should be together anymore_ I would stop. I knew what would happen as I told her. I knew that I would lose her. I knew that my friendship with her would be over and I could not have that.

I wanted to be with Bella. She was prettier than Tanya. She was smarter than Tanya and most of all she held my heart, but Tanya had something that Bella would never have in this town. Tanya had power and Bella would never have power here Forks.

Bella was too different. She didn't belong and everyone knew it. Everyone knew that her star would rise, but it wouldn't be here. She was destined for great things and that would not happen here in Forks. I was a normal boy and this might the best I could ever do so it was with a heavy heart that I decided that I would continue on with Tanya. She was my best opportunity for making a name for myself that did not include Emmett; I just prayed that Bella would understand.

I will never forget walking out of the movie theater with my arm around Tanya the night Bella found out. I had never gone public with Bella and yet here I was kissing and touching Tanya as if we were a couple. I tried to look anywhere but at her eyes since I knew I would find hurt there and I couldn't deal with it at the time.

I remember being so pissed that she was there without me knowing about it so when Tanya had a snide comment about Bella I joined in. I lied and said that my brother would have better taste than to date Bella. My brother could only be so lucky to get Bella to date him. If that was not insulting enough I looked past her as if she wasn't even there.

I made it home before them since mom was late to pick them up and I had gotten ride with Mr. Denali. I paced the front room before they showed up to the point where my dad asked what was going on. I couldn't tell him so I just passed it off as if I was excited about my date, which I was.

Em and Bella came trudging in with mom who just shrugged at dad as if she had no idea what was going on, and she didn't. I remember sitting there talking to them, trying to get Bella to talk to me, but she really said nothing and honestly I don't know what I expected from her. She just sat there with Em scowling at me as he nearly sat on top of her. I hated seeing them so close. I hated that she was out with him.

I kept trying to get Bella to say anything, but she remained silent as she sat there. Bella then stood up without any notice and walked upstairs to her room, leaving Em alone with me.

"Do you have to sit so close to her?" I demanded from him since I was pissed that she sat there nearly in his lap. She was not to sit in his lap.

"What do you care? You had your tongue down Tanya's throat for everyone in that theater to see so don't act like you care about Bella," he replied back bitterly as he stood up to leave me.

"Did Bella see?" I asked him, hoping like hell that she hadn't.

"Oh, yeah she saw. She went and puked afterwards which is what I felt like doing too," he said as he walked by me without another word.

I sat there for a moment trying to get it together. There was no way that Bella got sick because of me, there just wasn't. I went to my room and as I did I noticed that Bella's door was shut. I think it was the first time ever that I had seen her door shut at bed time. She had always left it open for me so I could join her, so we could read together.

I felt my heart start to pound in my chest as I saw that door closed. She was mad and I had hurt her by saying what I had said about her at the movies. I stood there for a moment to see if she just had it closed because she was changing, but she never reopened the door.

I went into my room and changed for bed. All I wanted to do was to go to Bella. I found myself going to the door before I stopped myself. I thought about Bella being upset and while I hated that I had hurt her, at the same time I thought about how if she was a real friend she would want me to be happy, even if it wasn't with her. If she really loved me she would be fine with this and nothing would change.

I kept telling myself that it did matter what I felt like when I was with her, that no one found what they were looking for in life at the age of 15. I kept telling myself that if she was my best friend like I thought she was she would understand it all. I then, finally told myself that Bella was destined for bigger and better things than what Forks could ever hold and that included me.

It was with that thought that I walked across the hall and tried to go into her room, but the door was locked. She had locked me out. She had never locked me out. Her door was shut and locked. She was shutting me out. I instantly felt dread settle in my chest as I stood there on the other side of the door.

This was her sign that she was done. She was done with me. I thought about it for a moment before my anger got the best of me resulting in me picking the weak lock so that I could walk in and see her like I wanted to.

Once I had the door unlocked I swung open the door as if I had won a prize and found her in her bed. She was sitting up, holding a book on her lap. She had her hair pulled up into a messy bun that was being held in place by pencils and pens. She was wearing one of my old t-shirts. She looked beautiful.

"Why is your door locked?" I asked her. I wanted to hear her tell me that it was not because of me, even if I did know the truth.

"I wanted to be alone," she replied with an angry edge to her voice that surprised me. I looked at her eyes and could see that she had closed them emotionally to me. She was shutting me out. I may have deserved it, but I did not like it.

"What's wrong?" I asked her once more giving her chance to tell me what an asshole I was.

"When were you going to tell me?" she asked with an edge still in her voice that scared me a little so I tried to down play it by laughing as I asked her if she was talking about Tanya. Of course she was talking about Tanya.

It was at that moment that I lied to her. I told her that what we had was nothing, just fun really. I couldn't tell her that I wanted more. I wanted things that she couldn't give me, like my own identity. I wanted her, but that scared the living out of me. I wanted it all, but I would have to settle for being her friend and hope that she understood.

I felt my chest hurt as she asked about me making fun of her. I couldn't tell her that I was pissed she was there with Emmett. It would make me look like I was some sort of hypocrite since I was there with Tanya so I just made up another lie. I blamed Tanya over it all before giving her the smile I know she loved best and asked for forgiveness, something I knew she would give because she was my friend.

I then tried to explain how happy I was about the change that was going to take place for me. I was going to be able to sit at the so called cool table, not even Emmett did that. I wanted her to be happy for me, but instead she just turned out the light. I knew as she turned out the light that we over, our friendship was done. I couldn't help myself but to give her one last kiss on her forehead as I left the room, even though it hurt to do so.

I returned to my room alone and for the first time in weeks I tried to sleep without her little form beside me. I tossed and turned as I laid there waiting for sleep, all the while my heart ached over the damage I had caused and the friendship I had lost that night.

**AN:**

**Hello! I never said that Edward's reason for dating Tanya was a good one, but it sucks when you want to be popular. Thanks for reading!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	4. Freahman year

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Freshman year. It was good and terrible all at once. I had gained the power in our little high school with Tanya at my side. It was stupid how like sheep people were in accepting me as someone of importance all based on what another person thought.

Tanya was amazing at first. I could get lost in her blue eyes. She was aggressive and knew what she wanted to the point where it was intimidating at times. She let me have free reign over her body, allowing my hands to wander where ever I wanted. It was exciting as hell to watch the reactions from her that I would get as I learned what she liked as I touched her.

We explored each other's body and Tanya was way more experienced than what I was. I had never done anything outside of kissing so everything was so new and dirty that it made it terribly exciting. She would push to have sex, but I couldn't do it with her. I would blame it on the fact that not all birth control was 100% effective and at the age of 15 I was not ready to be a father. Tanya would roll her eyes at me in frustration, but that wasn't that whole truth. I knew that if I took that step with her there was no going back. There would be no going back Bella. It would like the final line that I could cross and I just could not do it much to Tanya's frustration.

The terrible part about freshman year was Bella. She ignored me all the time. I would see her at school and she would always look the other direction. We had some classes together and she went out of her not to sit by me. I would try to talk or laugh with her at home and she would leave the room. She locked her door at night to keep me out. She basically avoided me every opportunity that she could.

While Bella ignored me as if I no longer existed she was all over Emmett. They were together all the time. She sat by him and his friends at lunch. I would watch from across the lunch room as she talked and laughed with these guys who fawned over her as if she would choose them. I would watch her sit by them in class or wait in the stands during football practice for them.

My theory concerning Bella was correct. I knew that the moment that other guys discovered how extraordinary Bella was they would flock to her. I would watch as different football players were lured in by her beauty and charm only to have their hopes dashed as Emmett would scare them off before Bella noticed what was going on. Emmett was very good at keeps guys away from Bella so it was hard for me to be angry at him at times for just being with her.

While Emmett was keeping guys away on one end I worked the other end as well. Since I had gained power and popularity by dating Tanya I used it to keep all other guys away from Bella. No one ever wanted to cross anyone who sat at my table so when I would tell some guy to leave her alone, they did. This, of course, would piss of Tanya which resulted in her being a bitch to Bella. I would try to explain to her that Bella was my friend and I was just protecting her, but Tanya always countered back with a very legitimate argument.

Tanya liked to tell me that Bella was a big girl and perfectly capable of picking her own guys to date without the help of Emmett and myself. She liked to remind me that Bella would not even talk to me in school so what did it matter anyway since she obviously did not want my help. I knew all of that was true, but that did not stop me. It really came down to the fact that I did not want Bella to be with anyone. I preferred to see her by herself since I didn't think I could handle seeing any one kiss her or hold her. I discovered that my thoughts on that were true at Home coming that year.

Our freshman year I sat in the stands during the football game. I was there to watch Tanya as a cheerleader, but I spent more time watching Bella who sat by my folks wearing one of Emmett's Forks High Football sweatshirts. I hated it that she was wearing his clothes. After the game I watched Bella hug Emmett as if he was a conquering hero just because he won the fucking game. It made me sick. I watched them at the party that we all went to afterwards; all the while Tanya was with me, waiting for attention.

I went to the dance the following night with Tanya, she looked beautiful in a yellow dress that hugged her slight curves, but I only had eyes for Bella that night. She wore a dark blue dress that was v-necked. It looked amazing on her and I wasn't the only person who thought so. I watched as guy after guy from the football team that she was friends with danced her around the room until she danced with Emmett again, who was her date for evening. I watched him slow dance her and her cling to him as they laughed and whispered together as they looked over at me.

I would dance with Tanya, but all the while I would try to see who Bella was dancing with as well. When Tanya left to dance with Mike Newton I walked over to ask Bella to dance. She looked at me like I had lost my mind, but didn't no. I lead her to the dance floor and was finally able to hold her once more since it was a slow dance. She would try to keep from space between us, but I wouldn't allow it, I just pulled her closer until we were touching.

"Edward," she finally whined in as she looked up at me with the deepest brown eyes and a scowl on her face that made me smile. She was giving up on fighting me and was just allowing me to hold her close.

I wanted to tell her how beautiful I thought she looked that night. I wanted to tell her that she deserved a better date than Emmett. I wanted to tell her a lot of things, but I couldn't so instead I just held her to me as we swayed to the music and hoped that she would know somehow that I thought of her all the time. When the dance was done she refused to look up at me, she just whispered a small thank you and then left me standing there alone on the dance floor.

Tanya had seen the whole thing and was now fully pissed. She made acquisitions concerning Bella and me that I out right denied. It was true. I hadn't messed around with Bella while with Tanya, but then again Tanya did not know that she was the other woman to speak that came between Bella and me. She had no clue about that since I had never told her about Bella and me that summer.

After the dance Tanya just hated Bella. It didn't matter what Bella did or said Tanya found fault in it and it was my entire fault. I had caused it all by watching Bella too closely. I tried to calm Tanya down, but it didn't matter she was in full bitch mode by the time Bella's birthday hit.

Tanya had been there for Bella's birthday party. I had brought her there to show her that there was nothing between Bella and I but a very strained friendship. That night Tanya behaved horrible, to the point where mom almost sent her home, but I insisted that she stay so I could see Bella open her gift from me. I had bought her a rare edition of Bram Stoker's Dracula. She loved vampires and I was dying to see her face as she opened the gift.

I waited patiently until she opened her gift and then watched her face fall as she saw the makeup and t-shirt. I laughed because underneath all the stuff that Tanya bought was my book, waiting to be discovered by her. Bella thanked me coldly and then the party was over. She hadn't found the book yet.

When I came back I discovered that Bella burned my gift and I was at first hurt by it before anger set in. She burned it without seeing the real gift.

Emmett was quick to attack me as I stood there and I recovered as quickly as I could while Bella would not look at me. There was no way she thought that I could find her to be ugly when I had told her time and time over how beautiful I thought she was. I stood there stupefied as Bella walked away from me wordless as she normally did. It was only once I was back in my room that I discovered the Dracula book in the middle of my bed. She had never seen it and so yeah, it looked like I was being a dick. I placed it on her nightstand that while she was sleeping. I knew that she would think that it was an _I'm sorry being a dick_ gift, but at least she would have it.

It was later that week that I came home after another fight with Tanya to discover Charlie Swan in the front room with Bella, mom and Emmett. He was there to bring Bella her birthday gifts. He had bought her a lap top and a pink shot gun. It was so Charlie to try to appeal to both sides of his daughter.

I walked through the room quickly and joined my Dad in the kitchen. He looked up and smiled evilly which made me nervous as I took a seat by my at the breakfast bar.

"If I were you I would stay in here until Charlie leaves," he said with a smirk on his face. I questioned him over what was going on and after a moment he finally told me. Charlie had bought Bella a gun in hopes of shooting the guy who broke his daughter's heart. I felt my chest clench with an ache that surprised me. I hated the idea that Bella was hurting over some guy and I instantly tried to figure out which of Emmett's jackass friends would have dated and hurt her.

I was about to ask dad who hurt Bella when it dawned me that he was talking about me. I had hurt Bella. I had been the one to break her heart. I felt sick.

"Oh, don't worry calmer heads have prevailed and you won't be shot,' he said with a sad laugh.

"Well, thank god for mom," I mumbled as I looked out into the other room as Charlie was showing her were to load the bullets at in the shot gun.

"Nope, your mom was all for you being shot as long as it was a flesh wound. She said something about me being a surgeon and I could fix you up. It was Bella that insisted that she could never shoot you, so thank her," he said with a laugh as I gawked at the girl in the other room.

"Edward, what you did was heartless. You don't play with people like that since it will only come back to bite you," dad said with a scowl as he lectured me on the finer parts of being a gentleman.

"I know. It already has," I replied and then explained how Bella hated me now.

"Well, son, you asked for it," was his only response as he got up and left in the kitchen to stare at the girl who still owned me completely. I watched her and thought about all the ways she had tried to close me out of her life this year. I hadn't let her though, I never would.

**AN:**

**Thank you all for reading! You all make my day completely! I am trying to get a few updates out before the weekend really hits so… on to the next chapter. Oh, and yes to answer some of your reviews…Yes, boys are horrible.**

**Take care, **

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	5. The Loss

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The summer between freshman and sophomore year was horrible. I found myself fighting with Tanya all the time. She would constantly complain that I was always staring at Bella, which I was, but I was not about to admit that to her. It was bad enough that Bella would catch me at times let a one if Tanya knew about that.

One night after a horrible fight with Tanya about me not wanting to hang out with Mike Newton or her stepbrother Garrett I broke it off with her. I told her that I never cared for her, that I used her as a matter of fact for social advancement.

Tanya being Tanya laughed at me and told me how she would say when it was over. She never cared for me either I was just needed to help distract her parents since they thought I was a nice boy from a nice family. They had no idea that she was doing drugs and having sex with older guys, neither did I until she told me that night. I remember walking home from her house since I refused to wait for her dad to take me home. I was done with her.

When I finally arrived at home my night went from bad to worse. I walked the stairs and I could hear Bella's new friend Charlotte Masen in her room talking and laughing with her. Char and her family were new in town and Bella had taken a liking to her, not that I blamed her since Char seemed nice. Another great bonus about Char was that Emmett was immediately drawn to her. It was like a moth to a flame and thankfully Char seemed to like him as well. It was a good thing since it kept Emmett from being too interested in Bella, which was where I thought he was headed. The only thing I did not like about Char was her older brother Peter.

Peter Masen was 2 years older and always looked at Bella. He would watch her and try to talk to her. I knew that he liked her and just for that I hated him. He had no business coming around Bella and I tried to make sure that he knew that at every given opportunity. Unfortunately, Emmett was fine with Peter being with Bella so I was getting no help from him on this matter.

It was that night on the stairs that I heard Char teasing Bella about Peter. Peter liked Bella and Char told her this. Char also told her that she would be a fool not to go out with him since then they could double date. I stood outside Bella's door waiting to hear her response when Bella noticed that I was there, watching her. Our eyes locked for a moment and as they did I tried to tell her no, not to date him, but to wait for me since I was coming back to her. I tried to hold eye contact with her, but Bella suddenly looked away as she blushed bright red for me. I stood there for another moment before leaving her with Char and Em, but not before I heard Char make a comment about me looking at Bella. I guess Tanya wasn't the only one who had noticed me doing that.

I tried going forward from that night to go with the three of them as much as possible. I would go along for impromptu trips to Seattle. I would show up for going to the movies. I had broken up with Tanya so I had all sorts of free time now and I tried to fill the free time with anything involving Bella.

I had really thought that my plan to win Bella back by being around consistently was working until the night Peter asked Bella out. Bella had been at her dad's house, avoiding me as usual so I showed up there. I hated it that she felt like she could not be around me and I wanted to fix that as soon as I could. I thought I was on the right track. I thought I knew what I was doing, but then the door rang and in walked Tanya a long with her whorebag friends. It was not long after her appearance that Bella's house was filled with partiers looking for booze.

All hell broke loose after that and soon Bella was in the kitchen with Peter trying to get people to leave while I grabbed Tanya and dragged her off into another room to talk her into leaving.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded from her as she stood in the hall way smiling at me like I was an idiot. God, I hated her.

"Well, sweetheart I thought you would be happy to see me. You know, maybe be save you from the dullness that is your other friends," she replied with a slight slur. She had been drinking. Tanya was mean when she drank.

"Go home Tanya," I said and then motioned for the door. I watched her leave through the kitchen. I then left and tried to help Em and Char get people to go. Once people started to leave others followed quickly and soon I was left alone in the messed up front room while Em followed the partiers.

I surveyed the damage. The furniture was moved a bit and Steve Cousins tore up a pillow, but overall it wasn't that bad. I had just started to move the furniture back when I heard Peter ask her out. I held my breath as I strained to hear what Bella would say. When she gave a soft yes, I lost it. I punched the wall leaving a hole behind in the shape of my fist.

I quickly went outside and stood in the middle of the chaos to try to cover up my actions, but all the while I was bleeding inside from the damage of her saying yes to another boy. Bella was going to go with him. Bella had found someone who could see who fucking amazing she was. Bella was leaving me, just as I had left her.

I was still thought in my thoughts of losing her when I heard Bella yelling at me about the mess. I had planned on helping her. I had planned on fixing things, but now that was out the fucking window. I could not be in that room with her and him. I could not stand by and watch him glow with happiness because he got the most amazing girl in Forks to go out with him. I could not stand by and watch it.

I turned to Bella and promised to come back, but I knew I wouldn't. I just needed to leave. I quickly scampered into the car with Tanya since she offered to take me along. I got in the car with Tanya and Bella standing in her yard watching me leave. I watched out the back window as we drove away until I could not see her any more.

"Poor Eddie! I guess your dream girl didn't want you after all," Tanya mocked as her slut friends all snickered at me. I just ignored her and had the girl driving drop me off at home.

Once at home I went to my room and locked the door. I would not go into her room tonight like I always did. I would stay away. I promised myself that I would stay away, but that was a wasted promise. I knew even then that this was a promise I would not keep.

**AN:**

**Hello All! I hope all of you have had a great weekend! I spent yesterday up in Iowa City at the U of Iowa football team Kids Day. It was hot and muggy which made it miserable! There were about 10,000 people that showed up, too bad so many of them were jerks! Oh well…Thanks to all who are reading and reviewing!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	6. Sophmore Year

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

My sophomore year was hell. I was alone and left to watch Bella be wooed by another boy. I got watch him hold her hand as he walked her to class. I got to watch him kiss her good night after a date. I got to watch it all and it hurt like a motherfucker.

Mom had caught me one night watching Bella return home from a date. I felt my temper boil over as I watched him pull her close for a kiss. I hated Peter Masen.

"You know, I would feel bad for you right now if you hadn't messed everything up with her all on your own," she said with a sigh as she looked over at me. I knew that she didn't feel bad for me. I knew that she thought that I deserved to be miserable as I watched Bella with another.

"Do you have to be that way? It hurts to see her with him," I replied back sullenly as I watched Bella kiss him back with more passion than she had ever kissed me.

"Don't you think that it hurt her to see you with Tanya?" she said as she looked at me with a sad look.

I had never thought about it. I had never thought that she was hurting every time I brought Tanya around. I never thought about how badly she must have burned when I would kiss Tanya in front of her. I never thought about how badly I must have hurt her. I never really thought about her at all I guess. I found myself wanting to die for hurting her like that since I now knew what it had to have felt like for her to watch from the sidelines. It was a terrible feeling like you were dying from the inside out watching another person touch the person you love.

I shook my head at mom and then left the room. I couldn't stand to see her any more. I walked up to my room as I heard her come inside and shut the door. I listened to her tell mom good night and then come up stairs. I listened to her pause in the hall way each night outside my door as if she was thinking of me. It was the only time during the night I was happy since I knew I was on her mind.

The year was passing and as it did I watched her attend dances at school with Peter. I would go too, but it was only to see Bella and maybe get the chance to ask her dance. When I did get her to dance with me it was only to a slow song so I could hold her to me. We would sway to the music and I would silently tell her how much I missed her, how I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the room, how she should be me, not him. All too soon the song would end and as it did she would give me a small thank you and then walk away back to Peter. It was crushing to watch every time.

I also watched as Peter became closer to Bella. I could see it and it made me sick. I could see how he would touch her as if he was used to having his hands on her. I would watch with a sick feeling wondering each time how far he went with his touches. I would watch and imagine ripping his arms off and beating him to death with them. It was violent, but the thought of him touching her so intimately made me violent.

The only happiness I could draw from Peter touching Bella was her reaction. Every time Peter touched her Bella was scowl at first as if he was irritating her. I could see it on her face and for a flicker of a moment I was happy because I knew that my girl was not that into him no matter what it looked like to others. I knew that somewhere in there that she did not want him or his hands on her and this gave me hope.

Other things were changing for me as well since I stopped sitting by my friends in the lunch room. They all were so annoying, wrapped up in their little lives and what they considered important. I could not stand that they had such a small view of the world around us. It was like they had forgotten that there was a world outside of Forks, which was kind of sad in a way.

I found myself alone a lot since I did not have a lot to say to others. I would go to parties to watch Bella and that would be my only outing with friends. I would stand back and watch as my old so called friends drank too much and then did drugs. I would watch Bella arrive with Peter and sit there uncomfortable as he talked and drank with his friends. I would spend my time watching over her and trying to keep her safe since Peter didn't have the common sense to do that for her.

One night at a typical party loaded with beer and weed I sat in the back ground watching Bella. I watched her drink a cup of beer as she sat there bored, waiting for Peter to return. It always shocked me that he would leave her alone at these get togethers since anything could happen. I had been at the party where Mike raped the girl in Port Angels. No one had seen him drag her off into the woods. No one had been around to stop him so like hell it was ok to leave her alone out there. It was at times like these that I wondered what the hell she was doing with him since he seemed to care so little about her.

I was standing far enough away that she could not see me in the shadows when I heard another person walk up. I turned to see who was joining me. I was shocked to see Charlie Swan in uniform standing at my side. I tried to keep my reaction in check, but I knew he saw it when he chuckled at me.

"Hello Edward, what are you doing?" he asked me as I tried to avoid his gaze. I knew he was here to bust the party and so I just assumed that I would be the first one arrested tonight.

"Uh, nothing really," I stammered back as I shifted a little to hide my nervousness and then looked at Bella who still sat there bored.

Charlie followed my gaze and then chucked again.

"Watching over Bella?" he asked and I could only nod my head yes in embarrassment.

"Well, that son is like a full time job. You know, I don't like this Peter guy either," Charlie said with a sigh. I was surprised that he didn't like Peter since if you looked at him Peter was almost perfect.

"He doesn't try to keep her safe," I said as I tried to explain myself to the father of the girl I was obsessed with.

"Yeah, well, it's not just that. He doesn't make smile, but then again he doesn't make her cry either so I guess that's good," Charlie said softly as he watched his daughter.

"Ok, son, you have 5 minutes to get yourself and Bella out of here before this party is over. I f you are still here as my men break up this get together I will have no choice but to take you both in and I do not want to do that. Do you understand me?" he asked me in more of a cop tone than I was used to hearing come from him. I nodded my head in agreement so he knew I understood.

"Well, go get her," he said as he motioned for me to go.

I walked out of the shadows and headed straight towards Bella who still sat there lost in her own thoughts. Once I was close enough to her that she could hear my movement she looked up at me with a surprised look that made me smile at her. She was damn beautiful that she made my heart start to pound in my chest.

"Edward, what are you doing…" she started to say, but I cut her off quickly.

"Bella, we need to go the party is going to be busted and I only have a few minutes to get us out of here," I replied quickly as I offered her my hand.

I watched as she looked at me skeptically for one moment and then stood up beside me. I watched her look towards where Peter was at and I waited since I knew what she did here would tell me everything I would need to know. I knew if she left without even demanding to find him that she was still mine, that she didn't care about him. I held my breath and waited for what seemed like forever and then she took hold of my hand before telling me to go. She didn't care about him at all. I felt myself smile as she grasped my hand and waited for me to lead her out of the woods.

I could not keep the smile off my face as we walked back towards where I had been with her hand in mine. It was as close to her as I had been in weeks. Charlie was still waiting in the shadows for us. He looked at us and shook his head as if he could not believe it. Bella looked at him with a guilty look, but said nothing.

"Take care of her son," he replied and then motioned for us to go. I lead her to my car where I opened her door and waited for her to get in. She got in slowly watching her dad as she did. Once I had her inside the car we both watched as Charlie walked back to his cruiser and got in the radio. I started the car and we slowly drove away. We were on the road when we saw a couple of cop cars and a state patrol car head in the direction we came from.

Bella said nothing as I drove; we just listened to music instead. I tried to find my words to tell her that I missed her, but they would not come to me no matter how hard I tried. I would glance over at her and find her watching me. It made me nervous and I felt myself growing red under her gaze.

I had my hand resting on the gear shift when I felt her hand touch the top of mine. The electricity from our touch burned through me causing me to jump a little from the contact. I looked over at Bella quickly, trying to judge what she was doing and found her eyes soft with thanks.

"Thank you," she said in a caring manner that made my heard pound in my chest as she squeezed my hand a little.

I found myself wanting to tell her that I would always take care of her. I found myself wanting to stop the car and kiss her silly until she conceded that she was mine and no one else's but I didn't instead I nodded my head and kept driving until we were home.

The days passed and as they did I saw a little less of Peter. I hoped that my night with her taking her home from the party was enough to spur her into wanting me back, but I still found myself on the outside looking in when it came to her until one night.

It was a normal night at our house and we were all sitting around the dinner table eating, even my dad who sometimes had to miss because of work. It was nice and quiet until the door bell rang. We continued on with dinner while dad left to answer it, but everything came to a halt once he walked back in with Peter in tow. He walked in to the room like he owned the place and tossed a magazine down on the table beside Bella. I watched her scowl at him and found myself angry at him for upsetting her.

Peter launched into telling us all that Bella had written a story and she was published in this magazine. I quickly picked up the magazine as the others gushed on to Bella, making her turn red in embarrassment.

Bella was amazing writer. I had always known that and once upon a time before I hurt her she use dot let me read what she wrote. She hasn't let me read anything in a long while so I was interested in what story of her's they published.

When I finally found her story in the publication I quickly started to read it. It was a love story of sorts between a human girl and a vampire. It was good, but it gave me a déjà type of feeling, like I had lived some of this before. I kept reading and the more I read the more obvious it was. This was about me and Bella she was the girl in the story. I was her vampire. I was killing her.

I continued on the story to see where she took us in her imagination. In the story I loved her beyond all reality, which was true I did. I found myself upset that if she knew this then why did she push me away? I read on to find that Bella ended this great love story between two unlikely people with her vampire killing her because he was not able to get beyond his nature. Did she think that we were destined to fail because I could not get beyond myself?

I looked over at her and found her watching me. I stood up and excused myself, but not before I gave her a hug. I had to fight myself not to grab her and run off with her as I held her to me. I wanted to take her, lock her in my room and demand what he meant by this story, but I couldn't do that since so many people were watching us. I hugged her and then left so I could sort over what I was going to say to her since there was no doubt that I would visit her in her room tonight.

I waited for what seemed like forever in her room for her. I waited until the sky was black all the while sitting on her bed. I could smell her in the air. It was the scent o her fruity body wash that she used combined with the flower scent of her perfume. It was comforting and exciting all at once.

Finally, I heard her saying good night to my family. I could hear right outside of the door and then she opened the door and stepped into the darkness where I waited for her just like her vampire in her story. I listened to her sigh as she closed and locked the door. She always locked the door to keep me out. It drove me mad.

"Why do you lock me out?" I finally asked her, breaking the silence in the room while asking the question that has been plaguing me for months now. It was comical to hear her scream as I spoke since I scared her.

"Why are you sitting in the dark like a fucking creepy stalker?" she demanded in her angry tone. I hated it when she cussed. She was better than that.

I told her that she didn't answer my question and I waited for her response, but when it never came I continued on with my quest. I needed to hear her tell me that this story was about us.

I told her that I had read her story. I told her it was too sad, which it was. It needed a better ending if the story was really about us. I smiled as she instantly came over and sat by me like old times. I moved so I was in front of her since I needed to see her face as we talked about this story of us. It was just like the first time I ever kissed her with me sitting in front of her like this. I found myself wanting to kiss her all over again as that need started to burn inside me as I looked into her deep brown eyes.

It seemed like she was drawn into me. It was like we were under some sort of magic spell as we sat there like that, knee to knee, facing each other, eyes locked together.

"How do you come up with your stories, Bella" I whispered to her, hoping that I was not breaking the spell by talking. She gave me a generic response that made me smile since I knew the truth. I knew that she drew them out of her own experiences. I knew that she was talking about me and I wanted her to admit it. I wanted her to tell me that she wrote about me.

"Who's sucking the life out of you Bella?" I whispered to her teasingly and as I looked deep into her eyes. I took hold of her hand in mine and was surprised to find that it was kind of cold.

I softly flipped her hand over and caressed her hand with mine to bring it warmth. I could feel her shiver softly as I touched her, causing my answering shiver back as I took delight in holding her hand like this. I loved the burn that was our skin touched caused within me.

"I think you owe Preston a better ending than the one you gave him," I whispered to her as I held her gaze, hoping that the magic spell that she was under would hold as I spoke to her.

She stayed there looking at me, with her big brown eyes locked with mine until I could not take it any longer. I needed to kiss her. I needed to feel her lips against mine. I leaned forward until we were almost touching. I paused giving her a moment to stop me, but she didn't. Bella continued to sit there with our foreheads almost touching and our lips barely apart from each other.

I took this as a sign of approval and so I leaned forward and pressed my lips against her's. It felt like fire against my skin as I kissed her. I felt her gasp and as she did I opened my mouth against hers and slowly slid my tongue along her's until she was responding to me.

Our kiss morphed into a heated kiss as our tongues tangled and our breathing became short. I was like I could not get enough of this girl. I held her face in my hands as I tried to pour all of my feelings for her into this kiss. I needed her to know that I burned for her. I needed her to know that I never stopped loving her. I needed her to know that I would be hers until the day I died and even then I would still be hers.

Our kiss became frantic as I poured my soul into her. I felt my physical side take over as I wanted to flip her on her back and press my hard on into her for the friction that I so badly needed. I wanted to hear her moan my name and it was with that thought that I knew I had to stop, because she wasn't stopping me. She wanted it too and that confused me while making me happier than I had been in over a year.

I broke our kiss, but still remained attached to her as I pressed my forehead against hers as if I was trying to press my thoughts into her mind. I stayed like that for a moment willing myself to calm down since I needed to think using reason. I needed to stop with all the urges to flip her over and continue kissing her until I was able to strip her naked before taking her on her bed, but it was hard and so was I.

I fought myself to gain control and once I was able to think a little more clearly I opened my eyes to find her watching me with lust filled eyes. Yes, she wanted me too.

I wanted to stay with her all night. I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and hold her until the morning, but I knew I couldn't. If I was given another chance with this beautiful girl I would not start it with her having a boyfriend and I would not be the other man in her life. I would have no choice, but to wait for her once more.

I leaned over and kissed her softly once more since I could not resist her lips before saying good night. I slowly got up, trying to hide my hard on as I did so, but failing at it miserably since there was just no hiding it.

I walked towards her door and then I stopped. I found myself opening my mouth to tell her to leave Peter and be with me, but I stopped myself before I said the words. Bella would have to leave Peter all on her own if I wanted another chance with her. My eyes locked with her one more and then I left her room to return to mine. I told myself it was a matter of time before she was mine again and tonight proved that.

**AN:**

**Hello All! Hope you had a lovely Sunday night. I did. We spent the night just relaxing which was so nice! I am trying to catch up Edward's POV just so you know….**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo **


	7. The birthday gift

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I spent the summer leading into junior year in a giddy state of countdown. I was counting down until Peter left for college in California. I knew once he was gone I had a better chance at Bella.

I watched with gritted teeth as he took her prom and then random parties. I called her dad and took their clothes when I found them skinny dipping in Bella's neighbor's pool. I watched with delight as Bella had to step out of the pool naked and then cursed myself as I realized that meant she would be naked in front of Peter and Emmett.

I found myself going out of my way to make their dates difficult and annoying since I wanted her to realize that she belonged with me, not some guy who was leaving her in less than 70 days. I would watch him hold her with disgust. I kept telling myself that at the end of the summer I would have my chance even though there were times that I doubted that, but then things started to change a bit.

I was up one night and I could hear someone I the kitchen. I went to investigate and discovered that it was Bella. She was writing on her lap top. She was fascinating to watch. Her eyes would light up as she wrote and sometimes she would get this cute confused look. I wanted to go in there and sit with her like I used to when she wrote, but I knew if I did she would leave so I just stayed in the shadows until she noticed me.

The first time she noticed I saw the look of worry cross over her pretty features, but it was the first time since I had kissed her that we were alone. I knew her well enough to know that she would feel guilty about kissing me while dating Peter so I had been trying to stay away from her, but once more I couldn't stop myself.

After that first night of finding her writing I would search her out at night. I would find her hunched over her laptop typing away. I finally found some courage and sat down by her at the table. I waited with baited breath to see if she would leave and when she didn't I smiled since I knew that she wanted me there too.

I would go to her then night after night to sit with her as she wrote and while she wrote I would read or watch her. One night I went to the kitchen to find her and it was empty. I felt my heart bottom out as I went back to my room to deal with my rejection when I discovered that Bella was in her room working.

I took a deep breath and walked over to her door. I turned the handle, fully expecting to find it locked like it was, to keep me out, but that night it was unlocked. She was inviting me in and I could not contain my happiness over that. I found myself chuckling as I walked in with my book in hand. I sat on the bed by her and pretended to read as she worked silently.

I had no idea what she was working on, but to me it didn't matter I was just glad to be there. I would watch her all under the pretense of reading and I soon discovered a pattern with her writing. Bella would write and then pause to think. When she would stop I noticed that her hand closest to me would touch me, my leg, my side, something so that we were connected in that moment. My heart would pound with each touch as I felt her electricity flow over me. I would smile each time she did it since she had no idea that she was touching me as she was so lost in thought. I loved those nights with her like that.

At the beginning of the summer I found myself getting ready to celebrate my 17th birthday, but to me there was really no reason to celebrate. I was in no mood for a party especially if it meant that I had to watch Peter hang all over Bella.

Mom surprised me by having a family party only and I helped out since it was the only way I could thank her for keeping Peter away even if it was just for one night.

The party was quiet and nice. We stayed at home, dad grilled and mom made her chocolate cake that I loved. When it was time to open presents I found myself getting nervous since I was dying to see what Bella had gotten me. I opened up my presents from my parents without much thought just to get to Bella's quicker, but Emmett beat me to opening it.

I watched him open up a box and pull out a leather bound book. It was book written especially for him by Bella. She had it printed and bound just for him. I found myself getting sick as I thought about that must have been what she was working on all those nights that I was with. I sat by her as she thought about my brother, writing out a story just for him, about him.

I opened my gift to discover that Bella had given me a gift to my favorite book store in Seattle. I tried to tell myself that this was a nice gift, but in all reality it was just a reminder that I was not on the same level as Emmett was with her. I thanked her nicely and then went up to my room to get away from Emmett fawning all over her.

I opened my door to my room immediately a wrapped box sitting in the middle of my bed. It was wrapped in black paper with a red bow. I knew it was a gift from Bella. A gift that was just for me, not for the others to see. My heart pounded in my chest as I approached the box as if she placed a bomb on my bed. I wondered when she had been in here to leave it for me since I don't remember her slipping away at all during the day. I wondered if she noticed her pictures up and if she did, did she think that I was some creepy stalker for having them there?

I sat on the bed and slowly unwrapped my gift. I lifted the lid to the box and discovered a book, leather bound book. I flipped open the pages and discovered that she had written me a story. I started to read it and discovered that it was about Preston and Cecelia. It was the story that was published in the magazine, but it was different.

The more I read of the story the more I realized that she had changed almost everything about what was published. It was no longer this sad story of lost love and a man who killed his chance at happiness. It was a story a faith and love. A story where the man over comes his need to destroy and he finally gets the girl. It was an amazing love story and as I finished it I sat there in awe over Bella.

She had written it for me. I had told her that Preston needed a better ending before kissing her that night and she had listened to me. She was offering me a better end to us and I loved her for her bravery in doing this. I would not have been so brave. I was so weak compared to her and that only increased as the days past from my birthday.

I found that I could not be around her. I was too nervous to see her. I wondered if she would be able to see how much her story affected me. When I did see her I had to fight the urge to grab her and kiss her since the need to be with her like that burned brighter inside me.

I found myself locked up in my room a lot, just reading her words to me over and over again. I sat there and tried to figure out how I could make the story come true. I knew that this was too big of a job for me, but I had no idea where to go with it.

It was one of those nights that I was lost in my planning to try to win Bella back while reading her words when my phone went off. It was near midnight and no one called me any more so to hear to ring startled me a little. I grabbed my cell phone and discovered that it was Bella who was calling. My heart leaped in my throat as I grabbed my cell to answer it.

Bella stumbled through her talking to me as I demanded to know what was wrong since something had to be wrong because she never called me. I could hear pounding in the back ground and then Bella finally admitted that she was trouble.

I was putting on my shoes to come and get her when she told me about Mike and that it was him who was pounding on the door. My heart stopped for moment as I heard the pounding, knowing full well what he would do if he got inside the room with a fairly defenseless Bella.

I raced out to my car, all the while trying to keep Bella calm even thought I could hear the fear in her voice and she was right to be scared.

Mike Newton was asshole, actually he was more than that and I had always known that he was interested in Bella. He hated it that she would give him the time of day, but that was Bella, she knew that he was problems; she just didn't know what type of problems he brought.

Mike was a part of the reason I stopped hanging out with the so called cool people. He had a twisted sense of entitlement and that lead to him raping a girl in Port Angels. He got away with it because his family paid her off, but that wasn't enough. He did it again with a girl on the reservation. He put something in her drink and dragged her off into the dark. I had been at that party and had watched Bella to make sure that mike was keeping his distance. When I got Em to take her home I lost track of what Mike was doing and that girl got hurt. I had always felt guilty about it, like it was my fault for not following him more.

It was those thoughts that raced through my mind as I drove to the house. I parked, blocking other cars from leaving, but I didn't care since I was going to get Bella and leave immediately any way. I was still on the phone with her as I walked through the crowd of people. I told her I was in the house I would be there soon until finally I stepped into the hall.

I could see a very drunk Mike pounding on the door. He was furious and had blood oozing from his nose. I whispered to Bella that I was here and then hung up quietly. I grabbed Mike from behind and slammed him into the wall on the other side of the hall. I was going to kill him if hurt her. I quickly had my hand on his neck, closing off his air way as he sputtered and tried to swing at me clumsily, but the hits never connected.

I felt someone grab my arm and I looked over to find Bella standing there looking scared as she watched me choke Mike. He deserved to die, but I was not about to go to jail over him so I let him go and we both watched him slide down the wall.

I could not help, but to laugh as I noticed his bloody nose again. I teased Bella about remembering how to punch. I had shown her how when we were 12.

I was able to get Bella out of the house quickly, leaving behind a passed out Peter. I thought about kicking him while he was down since he left Bella so unprotected there, but she was right there so I couldn't do it.

At home there was no one up waiting for us as we walked in together. I asked her to change into her sleeping clothes while I grabbed some ice for her hand and then we settled into my room. I sat by her trying to watch some movie that was on TV, but the entire time I thought of the girl on my bed. I could not think of the last time she was in her with me alone. It was nice and I had missed her terribly even though she had always been around me.

I watched her fight sleep until it finally took over and Bella's lovely eyes closed. She looked like an angel lying there like that. I knew that I should have waked her up to take her back to her room. I knew the rules. Dad had said no more sleep over's with Bella. This came about after they had found out about us kissing and I had already left her for Tanya so before it didn't matter since Bella could not stand to be around me after that. I knew what I should do concerning Bella, but I was weak and I wanted her next to me. I needed her next to me that night so I could hold her and know that she was alright after tonight's activities.

I slowly slid her under my covers and then stood up to change so I could join her. In my hurriedness I just stripped down to my boxers and crawled in beside her before gathering back against me so I could hold her.

It still amazed me over how perfectly she fit in my arms since I had not held her since we were 14 and that was 3 years ago now. I kissed her forehead as she nuzzled into my chest a little as she slept.

I whispered my thanks to her for her story and her words and then laughed as she tried to talk to me, but only managed to yawn instead. I watched her eyes flutter closed again and suddenly I found myself breathless as I looked at her. I leaned down closer and brushed my lips against hers in a soft kiss since I could not help myself before whispering good night.

I feel asleep rather quickly as I held her. It was nice since typically I had trouble sleeping, but I guess holding Bella was a cure for that. I had actually slept too good since when I awoke I found dad standing there at the foot of my bed looking pissed.

"It's not what you think," I whispered as I untangled myself from Bella who was nearly laying on top of me now.

"You know the rules and we'll discuss this later. In the mean time, put Bella back in her bed," dad said as he glared at me. Yes, I guess we would talk about this later. I carefully got up and then picked Bella up to carry her to her room. Dad watched me as I carried out of my room, but once I was inside her room he couldn't see me anymore.

I carefully laid her down on her bed and then pulled the blankets back up over her. I could hear her murmuring her sleep. I wanted to listen to see what she was dreaming about. She mumbled words that I did not understand as she snuggled under the blankets. I leaned over and kissed her sleeping lips once more before going back to my now empty room and closing the door behind me before crawling back into my Bella scented bed. I would have to deal with dad soon enough, but for right now I would just enjoy what little part of Bella I had.

**AN:**

**Hello all! Thanks for reading!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	8. When Charlie Died

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Junior year was terrible at best. I spent most of my time avoiding people that I had at one time wanted to be friends with. I would spend my lunch time in the library watching the clock since I had nothing else to watch because Bella was in the lunch room with Emmett. Sometimes I would join them, but more times than not I would just sit in the library and pray for the school year to end.

If it wasn't bad enough that I was avoiding most people news got around about Bella, Mike and me at the party that I rescued Bella from. The story changed though with the help of Mike from me taking Bella home after Mike tried to break a door down to Bella having sex with me in my car as her boyfriend was passed out inside. I tried to down play the incident since I knew how the gossip mill worked. If I came out and denied along with going all fucking crazy like I wanted to it would tell the whole school that it was true even if it wasn't. If I ignored it would go away and rather quickly so that is what I chose to do.

It was hard to ignore the stares and I tried to shield Bella from it the best I could by sitting by her at lunch. I knew if I was there that Mike would leave her alone, unfortunately Emmett never understood when to back off.

It was lunch time and I was in the lunch room waiting for Bella when Emmett approached. He tossed down his books and quickly walked up to me. He sneered and then threw a punch at my face. Emmett may have size, but he was not fast so I was able to dodge it and get in my own punch. I had no idea what he was so upset about, but that did not stop me from throwing that punch.

Emmett grabbed me and was holding me by my throat against the wall when a teacher and Bella showed up to break up the fight. We both were dragged off to the office to wait for dad. I could not believe what Emmett had done and I told him how badly he had messed up. I told him that he was only causing problems for Bella, but I don't think that he cared about that.

Truly, the only good thing about junior outside of the fact that Peter was gone was that I had Bella in almost all of my classes. It was in one of those classes that I watched Bella's world shatter.

We were in AP Chemistry together when Mr. Schroeder called Bella out into the hall with Mrs. Clark, the school nurse. I watched as some police officer told Bella something that I could not hear and then watched as Bella dropped to the ground in faint.

"Mr. Cullen you stay right here!" Mr. Schroeder said as I ran out of the class to her. As if I cared what he had to say. Once I reached Bella and she opened her eyes I discovered that he dad had been shot.

I watched as my girl haggled with the school officials to have me leave with her, not that it mattered I was going with her no matter what. I helped her to the cop car and we on our way. Bella allowed me to hold her hand as we went and I texted mom to let her know where we were.

We reached the hospital and walked in to a large cluster fuck. There were cops everywhere and Bella cringed as they approached her. I took her by her hand and we sat in the back of the room waiting for dad to come out and tell us what was going on.

Mom arrived and as she did she brought Char and Emmett with her. They sat on the other side of her. I could hear mom chanting that all would be fine as I slipped my arm around Bella's shoulder to pull her closer. Cops kept approaching her, completely missing that she would cringe as they spoke to her. I would suggest that they move on as quickly as possible since I could see how bothered Bella was by them.

I'm not sure how long it took, but eventually dad appeared. I could see it on his face that it was bad before he ever told Bella that Charlie was gone. I held her closer as she sat there dumbfounded that her dad was dead. Bella had moved and was now gripping my hand as if I was a life preserver. I didn't mind. I wanted to be her life line.

I waited as Bella left to see her father's body as she had requested, but I couldn't just sit there. I needed to see her and make sure she was ok so I went and waited in the hall outside of the room. I waited until she looked at me with a panicked look as she spoke with dad.

I walked in and took hold of her hand in mine as I listened to my dad tell her that her mother had been called. I could feel the panic rise in my own system as I thought of Bella leaving me.

Soon other police officers came back into the room, but I was lost my thoughts as some approached her. I was too busy thinking about Bella leaving me. I hated the idea of her leaving. I remained lost in my thought of how to keep Bella with me when she tugged on my hand, telling me that it was time to go.

I lead her out of the back mazes of the hospital until we emerged outside. Mom must have seen us leave or dad must have told her since as we stepped out they were waiting for us in the car. She took us home to the circus that would be waiting for us there.

The rest of the night was spent with people coming and going at my house while Bella clung to me. The night wore on and soon it was getting late. It was at that time that I was finally able to talk Bella into eating something. She wanted strawberry malt and so we went off in search of the Dairy Freeze. It was awkward on the drive back since she wanted to stop at the place where her dad was killed and I could not say no to her.

I watched her get out and so I quickly followed just in case she needed me. I watched her get lost in her thought about her dad as we stood there. I thought of Charlie Swan as well. He was a good man who cared about his daughter. I prayed that he was at peace now as we stood there in dark.

Once Bella finally got back in the car I was able to get her home and try to take care of her. She seemed so fragile and so I kept watching for her to crack, fall apart, but it wasn't happening. The night wore on and we all left to get dressed for bed. I waited for her in the hall and as I did I discovered Emmett there as well.

"If you think that you can just walk back into her life you're wrong," he said to me with an angry tone in his voice. I knew he fucking liked her.

"I think that's Bella's decision not yours," I replied just as harsh as him when Bella walked out and found us waiting for her. I followed her into her room with Emmett in tow. I hated that he was there, but as I had said, it was her decision, not mine.

I was going to try to pretend that Em was not there, but then he got his mouth going and told me that people had been talking about Bella. I knew that would happen with Emmett interfering about the gossip concerning the party. I could handle that part and seemed like Bella could too. It was when she told me that my old friends would call her a whore that I lost it.

I left the room and headed back to mine since I had determined that I was going to end Mike Newton's life. He was not ever going to be allowed to even say Bella's name, let alone, call her anything less than worthy of what she was and that was perfection.

I was pulling on my clothes when Bella entered the room looking more tired that I had ever seen her look. I knew what she would do and she did it. She tried to down to play everything as if I would think it was alright that some asshole was staying things about her.

So there I kneeled between her legs as she sat on my bed. I found myself crying as I begged for her forgiveness as I explained that I only wanted to keep her safe, nothing more. I could not tell her how horrible Mike was or all the terrible things that I had witnessed as being around them. I just couldn't. She would hate me.

It was at that moment that I looked at my girl and she spoke not a word, but assured me that she forgave me. She pulled me to her in a hug which I greedily accepted. I could not get enough of being that close to her.

I wanted to talk her into staying in my room. I wanted to leave Em where he was and have Bella all to myself, but that would not happen since Bella stood up and took me by the hand to go back to her room. It was a long night knowing that Emmett was touching her.

In the morning I watched her sleep until she woke up. I knew it would be a big day since her mom was supposed to be on her way here. I only had a few hours to convince this girl not to leave me. I found myself following her around like a lost puppy to the point where it was embarrassing. I just wanted to be with her.

I worried at night that she would leave me before I had a chance to show her that I could be great for her. I worried that her mother would take her away. I could not sleep even with her wrapped around me. I held her tighter as she slept and soon as I feel asleep as we watched the movie that was playing.

I awoke that night to the sound of my phone going off. I looked to see if I had disturbed Bella, but she was gone. I grabbed my phone and saw that it was Mike Newton. What was he calling me over?

I answered the phone sounding groggy.

"Hey Cullen. What's your sweet little Bella doing out walking the streets this late at night? Haven't you told her what bad things can happen to foolish girls?" he said in a menacing tone that scared me a little and then he hung up. I looked over to find Bella and she was gone.

I ran upstairs to our rooms and she wasn't there. It was with that I grabbed my keys and left for her old house. That would be the only other place she would be. I raced to Bella's house, hating that she was out there alone with Mike watching her somehow.

I pulled up in front of Bella's house just as she was unlocking the door to walk in. I raced to her and demanded to know what the hell she was thinking. I scanned the yard looking for signs of Mike being around, but I found nothing. I had no idea where he was at, but he was out there somewhere and hopefully he could see that I was with her now. I silently dared him to appear since I would have killed him dead before he would ever have a chance to touch her.

The night wore on and I sat with Bella in her old bedroom bringing her coffee as she read her Dad's journals. He had written them for her. She allowed me to read them as well. It was shocking how much he loved her, how he dreamed for her and as I read I could see where Bella had gotten her talent for writing.

Bella would read his words to her and sometimes laugh. When she did this she would share what was funny so I could laugh with her. There were other words that would make her cry and when she did that I would kiss away her tears as I held her close trying to offer some sort of comfort to my broken girl.

At 3AM she finished reading everything and just lay in my arms silently crying as I held her. It was heartbreaking and I wanted to say something, anything, but I knew that she had enough, there was nothing I could say any way that would make it better. I tried to comfort her and that was best I could do in this most fucked up situation.

She laid on me for a while silently as if she was trying to clear her mind, but my mind was racing. All I could think about was that she would leave me. The attorney we had seen yesterday had offered some help as far as burying her legal work in the court system long enough for Bella to turn 18 in a few months. That gave me some hope, but it wasn't enough. I had offered to leave with her as well. I had offered to take her anywhere she wanted to get away. She could escape being with her mom and I would have her with me which to me was a win win situation, but she declined it. She said couldn't leave, but I assured her that the offer still stood.

I held her to me as she remained silent and when I could not take the silence any longer I spoke.

"Don't leave me," I whispered to her as she nuzzled my chest making me squirm a little since it tickled. She did not speak, but instead just held me tight. We fell asleep that way.

It was that morning that Bella's mom arrived. We had just gotten dressed as the car pulled up. I stood with Bella as we watched her get out the rental car. I was dying to see Renee again after all these years. I wanted to see what monster looked like since moms just don't do that to their kids.

We watched as Renee and her family got out of the car. Bella had sibling. I looked over at her and saw her face contorted in a mixture of surprise and anger. I wrapped Bella in my arms and pulled her close. I had no idea if this was it with her and so I used my time to plead once more for her not leave as I kissed her forehead.

My heart started to pound in my chest as my dad called for Bella to come down stairs. Emmett appeared out of thin air and stood in her door way. He looked sick also as I looked at him. She motioned him to go as she took something off her dresser as she turned to leave. I grabbed her and pulled her close in for a quick kiss, hoping like hell that she understood that it was a silent plea once more for her not to leave before we went to face her mom.

Bella held my hand as we walked down the stairs. I wasn't sure about holding her hand like that in front of her mom. I did want her to use whatever our relationship was or could be against us as a reason for Bella to leave, but if Bella wanted to hold my hand I would hold her hand happily.

I stood by her side as her mother spoke and Bella squeezed the life out of my hand. I could see that she was just on the edge of losing it when turned to introduce us as her family. It was a bold move and it showed Bella taking ownership of us. I was greedy though. I did not want to be introduced as her family; I just wanted to be introduced as her's.

I could see the edge of anger taking over and as it I looked over at Emmett who was now at her other side. We made a silent agreement that if Bella lost it, which she had the right to do in this horrible situation, that we would take her to the kitchen and leave it for our parent to fight it out. Emmett and I may not like each other, but for Bella we could work together.

There was no need for our intervention since Bella handled herself amazingly as always. She had a conversation with her mom that was heated, but at the end she made it clear she was not leaving and my heart sang as I heard her repeat that over and over to her mother.

I watched Bella walk her mother out and then watch them leave. I had no idea what was going through her head. I could only imagine how she would be feeling as she watched her mother leave her once more while knowing that her father was already gone.

I took hold of her hand as she stood there. I needed her to know that she was not alone. I needed her to know that I would never leave her. I needed her to know that I would always be there. I needed her to have faith in me even if I didn't have faith in myself.

**AN:**

**Hello all! Thanks for reading! **

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	9. Charlie's funeral

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Charlie's visitation was long and drawn out. It was like a who's how of Forks government and town folk. I stood by Bella, holding her hand as person after person passed by. I would try to ease into the back of the room with her, but mom would always catch us and put Bella back upfront where she belonged.

After it was over Bella wanted to sleep and so I was happy to hold her if that was what she needed. I waited for her in the hall and once she emerged from her room I held open my arms to her and she practically ran to me. We crawled into my bed and soon she was fast asleep with her head on my chest. Since she was in my bed Emmett did not come in and that was nice since I had her all to myself.

I laid there for awhile holding her as I read until I noticed my dad standing there in the door way watching us.

"When you have a minute Edward, we need to talk," he said to me as he looked form Bella's sleeping face to mine. I had no idea what was bothering him, but I would find out since I quickly untangled myself from Bella to go have this talk that dad was demanding.

I followed him until we were in the front room. He motioned for me to sit and then left the room. He came back with a tray holding chocolate cake that someone had made and dropped off as well as 2 cups of coffee. He handed me my slice of cake and then looked over at me skeptically.

"Ok, what is going on?" he asked as he looked at me with concern on his face that surprised me.

"What do you mean?" I asked him unsure of what he was talking about. I watched as he rolled his eyes at me and then continued.

"Ok, if you want to play dumb, I am asking about you and Bella," he said with a sigh that surprised meas if he was irritated with me.

"Uh, I don't know," I offered as I tried to think of what to tell him. Did I tell him that I wanted to win Bella back? Was that appropriate to tell?

"Are you messing around with her?" He asked me with and irritated sound.

"No!"I exclaimed shocked that he would think that, but I guess it would look a little odd others as they watched Bella and I together.

"Ok, then, what the hell is going on?" dad asked me as he looked confused. I looked at for a moment and then I figured what the hell, maybe he could help.

"Ok," I said with a big sigh as I looked at him and then took in another deep breath.

"I like Bella," I offered out there to him and he looked at me as if I should continue.

"And?" he asked with an amused look on his face as he waited for me to speak.

"Well, I want her to like me," I said suddenly feeling very stupid for even sharing this with him. It was all a mistake I had decided as I watched him laugh at me as if I had said the funniest damn thing he had ever heard before. I waited for him to finish laughing as I sat there feeling stupid.

"Well, I guess the first step is admitting that you like her," dad said with a chuckle that made me want to punch him in the face.

"Shut up, I'll go. This was a mistake to tell you," I mumbled as I stood up, but he stopped me by grabbing my arm.

"If you want to win her back then you are going to need my help so I would I sit down if I were you," he said as he looked at me with an amused smile. It was at that moment that I realized how screwed I was if I was having to take help from my father in this matter.

"Bella doesn't trust you. You screwed over a girl that has a memory like no other and also has security issues," dad said with a sad shake of his head.

"And there is your mother. She will skin you alive if she thinks that you are going to hurt her. I am serious when I say that your mother will not be above paddling you if Bella gets hurt," he said as he sighed while I sat down again.

"What do I do?" I asked as I looked at him, hoping like hell that he had some answers for me.

"Well, I think you're off to a good start by being there for her now. I can see that she is more comfortable with you so that's good. As far as your mom goes, let me work on her and she'll come around. You have to show Bella that you are trust worthy and I think you are doing a great job of that so far," Dad offered as he looked at me.

We sat for while talking about Bella. I told him of how I never stopped loving her. I told him that I would do anything to gain her trust and he just smiled and nodded at me.

"You need to go to bed. Tomorrow will be big day and Bella will need you," dad said as he looked at me with an amused look on his face. I stood up to go when dad stopped me.

"Oh, and Edward, you need to tell Bella all that, not me," he said as he laughed little and then left me there in the front room alone. I sat there for a moment thinking about how in the hell I would tell Bella all of that and then finally trudged off to bed where my girl was waiting peacefully as she slept.

Charlie Swan's funeral was long and pretentious. It would not have been something that he would have liked at all, but this was part of the process that Bella had no control over. The mayor of this little pass ant town wanted a big production and so that was what happened. I was able to sit by Bella during it all. I had left my family in the row behind to hold her hand since she was left all alone in the row that was intended for family. I couldn't stand to see my girl sit all alone like that so I moved to sit by her and earned myself a smile. Unfortunately, Emmett quickly joined us by sitting with her on her other side.

At the cemetery the service was much faster and soon every one left the grave, except us. Emmett, Char and I waited since Bella had ridden with us as Bella said good bye to her dad. It was heart breaking to watch her stand alone with her hand on his casket and her eyes closed. She looked like a little girl who was lost and I guess in a way she was.

At the lunch being held in her father's honor Bella looked distracted. She looked antsy as if she was dying to leave. I watched her pick at her food and avoid people until she finally asked Em to take her home. I asked to go with her and she agreed which surprised me a little, but I tried not to let that show.

At home she walked in and looked like she wanted to leave instantly. I could not blame her. Our house was filled with the over flow of plants that were given at the funeral home as well as every baked good known to man since people thought the best way to deal with grief was by eating.

I offered to take her somewhere, anywhere and she quickly agreed. I drove until I was forced to stop. It was the path to the meadow we used to go to. I wondered if she would remember it. I wanted to take her somewhere that there was only happy memories, not the sad ones that were all around her now.

We sat in the car for a moment and in that moment I thought of all the things I wanted to tell her, but I knew if I did it would make it worse. She had just buried her dad; she didn't need me announcing that I wanted her back with me along with that.

I was lucky since the rain had stopped for a while and the sun was actually shining. I had no idea how long it would be before the rain started back again so I decided to take advantage of it by having us walk up to the meadow.

She held my hand as we walked, but I could tell she was lost in thought. It was ok. I would protect her from falling as she walked along side me.

While we walked I felt the energy that was us pass between us. I could feel every spark ignite a fire inside me that caused me to burn for her like always do. I wanted to kiss her, but I wanted her to trust me too. I knew that if I pushed anything physical that there would be no trust, but it was so hard since all I wanted to do was to touch her, kiss her, comfort her, and claim her.

When Bella finally broke from her thoughts I could see her looking around at where we were. I could see the recognition as she realized where I had taken her. I could see the small smile form on her beautiful face. I pulled her close to me with a kiss and much to my surprise she answered me by kissing me back.

It was amazing and sweet. It was better than the desperate kiss we shared a few weeks ago on her bed. This kiss was met force for force. She was encouraging me as she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me close. It was intoxicating.

I broke our kiss to drag her over to the fallen tree that we used to sit on when the rain started falling hard and fast. We both laughed and then raced back to car, but not before I had to carry her since her heels were sinking in the mud.

Once in the car I pulled her on to my lap. It was a dangerous move since there was no hiding my hard on in these dress pants so she would know that I wanted her as she sat on my things, but Bella didn't flinch at all. She kissed me back and soon our kisses took over causing the embarrassment of me wanting her so badly to go to the way side.

We kissed over and over again as we grinded against each other. She was a better kisser than before and I only had Peter thank for that, which made me sick. Bella pulled away from me as the queasiness passed over me. She asked about Tanya. I told her that I wasn't seeing her any more, which was true, but there was more to it than that. I could told her that I dumped her the moment that I realized that I was still in love her. I should have told her that I never liked Tanya, that there has only ever been her in heart, but I was coward and I didn't. I did manage to ask if she was dating anyone, which she said no to, but I knew that she wasn't seeing anyone before I even asked.

Once we had the formalities out of the way Bella kissed me again taking my breath away as she tugged my hair. She grinded herself on top of hard on setting a rhythm that I knew would lead her unraveling as well as me cumming in my pants like a 16 year old boy, but I loved it.

I loved how her hips felt in my hands and how her lips tasted. It was amazing and beautiful. It felt alive for the first time in a long time and when she came while calling my name it pushed me over edge. She was sexy and so damn beautiful that it took my breath away as I watched her. It made me want to make her come every day just so I could see this beauty over and over again.

I finished not long after her as she clung to me tugging my hair, encouraging me to cum as she whispered my name over and over again my ear as if it were a prayer. I held her to me afterwards, kissing her swollen lips and telling her how beautiful she was, which made her smile softly at me. I tried not to think about if she had done this with Peter since the thought made me want to go to California, find him, rip his arms off and beat him to death with them. It was a double standard, I knew that, but I didn't care. Bella was mine, not his.

We drove home in relative silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence. It was a comfortable silence as if we both were too tired to speak. She held my hand the entire way and rubbed at my fingers causing me to smile as she did so.

Once at home we walked in hand in hand while she snickered at me since it was uncomfortable for me with wet boxers pulling on me in an almost painful manner. We made it up the stairs and I watched her got to her room to change her clothes, but not before pulling me in for a kiss. I was still standing there smiling like an idiot when I turned to go into my room and found Emmett in the hall watching me. I don't know if he had seen us or not.

"What?" I asked him as he scowled at me. I could tell he had seen us now.

"Leave her alone," he said with a menacing tone as he glared at me with a dangerous look in his eyes.

"No. She wants me too," I replied with a smirk that I knew would piss him off. Em turned and walked into his room. He slammed his door at me as if I cared what he had thought. I should have been more careful concerning Emmett.

**AN:**

**Sorry it took so long to get this out today, but real life has been busy. I sent my 3 school age girls off to their first day of school. I cried like a fool since my oldest is in the 6****th**** grade & my 2****nd**** baby is in the 2****nd**** grade and finally my 3****rd**** baby started kindergarten. It was sad for me…. I am working on Broken so never fear about that update coming soon as well. Thank you all for reading! I swear the most awesome people are reader here!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	10. The opportunity

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

I spent the last part of junior trying to be with Bella, but she was distant. She had been distant ever since we made out in my car after her dad's funeral and I kicked myself every day since then because it was poor timing on my part. I would watch her from a distance and wonder if I could ever do right by her.

I tried to make things better between us, but every time I opened my mouth it seemed to make it worse. I had asked her to prom, but she told me that she had plans with Char and Emmett. Fucking Emmett was always around her and I was sure that it he had some part in keeping her from going with me.

I remember how she went the following year with Peter and how heart breakingly beautiful she looked in her long black gown. I wanted her to look like that for me. I wanted to lead her into a terribly decorated gym with some lame music playing and show the entire school that she was with me, but she would have no part of. She told me no.

Emmett had found out that I had asked her and laughed in my face as he discovered that Bella declined my invite to prom.

"Did you really think that she was going to say yes?" he said with a sarcastic laugh that made me want to punch him in the face as he stood there.

I walked away since I knew that he would have kept going if I stood there which only would have lead to me losing my temper.

Dad had been a great help during all of this by reminding me that Bella didn't trust me and I needed to earn her trust. He kept reminding me that trust takes time, but I didn't want to wait. After the night in my car where I had a little taste of Bella I was desperate for more. I wanted to kiss her all the time. I wanted to touch her and hear her moan my name. It was like a drug and I was dying for my fix.

I had managed to get myself invited to go along with Emmett, Char and Bella to see a band play instead of being left with prom. It was easier than I thought it would be since Em was so excited to watch me fail with Bella.

That night I sat in the back seat with Bella while Char made fun of me and Bella smiled. It was all worth it since I would have her all to myself at the end of the night since we were not sharing a room with them.

I watched Bella as she changed for the night into a more provocative outfit with darker make up to match it. She looked sexy as hell and I found myself fighting the need to just keep her in the room with me so no one would see her like that except me.

The bar was dark and we got in easy due to the fake ID's that Officer Laurent scored for all of us on Bella's behalf. I held her hand in dark so what guys were checking her out could see that she was with me and not available. I would scowl at the guys checking her out whenever I could just to remind them that she was mine, even if she would not admit to it yet.

I watched her dance and delighted in how she laughed with Char until I finally got to hold her in my arms. She pulled me close and melted into my arms with her face pressed into my chest and neck as if she was trying to breathe me in. I wondered if she could feel my heart pounding as she did this. It was at that moment that I needed to feel her skin against mine so I slid my hand up the back of her shirt so that I was touching the small of her back she pressed herself closer to me as I did this.

It was perfect and as she asked me questions over whether I wanted to be at prom or not I was blown away by it. Could this silly girl actually believe that I would want to be anywhere that she wasn't? So I told her this and watched her study me as if she was determining if I was telling the truth before finally deciding to believe me.

I held her close for the rest of the night so that we were always touching. I loved how she pressed herself into me. I loved how she brushed her lips along my neck or my jaw as she sat on my lap when taking a breather from dancing. I loved being with her like this even if it might have been a side effect from the alcohol that we were drinking.

At the end of the night I was fighting off the need to tell her that I loved her. I was fighting not to tell her that she owned me and that she always would, but I knew that I couldn't tell her that. I knew that if I did tell her that I would lose her since she still wasn't sure about me. I knew this. I knew that she would run away from me.

It was on the hotel bed while I laid there on top of her, pressing her into the mattress so that there was not an inch of space between her body and mine that I finally broke.

"I think I like you Bella," I whispered to her softly. I knew I shouldn't have, but I needed her to know that I liked her and that this between us was something that I would like to be given a chance at.

"You don't know me anymore Edward," Bella replied sadly as I felt her fingers lace through the hair at the back of my neck causing me to shudder at her touch.

"I want to know you again," I whispered and then claimed her lips in a kiss that I hoped told her that I wanted to know everything about her and tell her everything about me.

I deepened the kiss and pressed into her more so that I could feel her against me. I let my hands wander while trying to avoid her breast or her sweet pussy since I did not want her to think that it was all about sex. It was bad enough that I knew that she could feel my hard on pressing into her stomach showing her that on some level it was about sex since I wanted her so badly.

I broke our kiss to kiss her neck and all the while I begged for her to give me a chance until she finally said yes. When she said yes I pulled back enough to give her a smile and then continued my kissing as she wrapped her legs around my hips to give us more friction as we kissed and rubbed against each other until we both came in a flurry of kisses and moans.

Afterwards I cleaned up leaving Bella to change in the bedroom for bed. She had stripped down to a t-shirt and was waiting for me to change out of my sticky boxers for bed. Once I returned to her she held open her arms for me and greeted me with warm kisses as I crawled in beside her as if it was my natural place to be wrapped around her as she slept and to me it was.

I had thought after that night and her agreeing to let me try to show her how we belong together that it would have been easier going with Bella, but it wasn't. She still looked at me skeptically. I could still feel her distrust and it killed me.

The school year ended and I asked her out on an official date. Em and Char would go along as a buffer, but really I didn't think that we needed them. It was a nice night and I was a perfect gentleman all the way up to the kiss goodnight at the door. I followed her inside and then watched her go to the bathroom to change thinking that I had done everything right, but I hadn't. I could hear her crying in the bathroom, not just crying, but sobbing as if I had broken her heart in two. It killed me.

Bella found me waiting in the hall before I had a chance to move and after that we went into Em's room since she wanted to watch a movie. I held her to me as we lay on the bed. I wanted her know that I wasn't going anywhere, but Bella just fidgeted until she got up claiming that she was hungry as she left, but I could see the panic her eyes. She doubted me again.

"She doesn't want you," Em said with a smug satisfaction that pissed me off.

"You don't know that," I replied trying not to sound hurt or pissed off.

"Yeah, I do otherwise she would be here wouldn't she?" he said in a mocking tone. I stood up and left him in his room while he laughed at me. Fuck Emmett.

I walked down the hall and ran into dad.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked as I bounced off him since I wasn't looking where I was going.

I tried to explain what was going on, but he cut me off and just motioned for me to follow him down stairs so we could talk there. I glanced in the kitchen as we walked past and saw my mom with Bella. It did not make me feel any better that mom was with Bella since I knew that she was kind of against us being together.

I explained my night with Bella to dad. I told him everything. I told him about making out in the car and the trip to Seattle. I watched him keep an unemotional look across his face as I tried to explain that at every turn I was fucking up somehow.

"I don't think that you messing up," dad offered as he sat there with a small smile on his face as he looked at me.

"I think Bella is just deciding over what to do with you. I mean, she likes you, but she doesn't seem to know if she wants to be with you. Give her time and she'll decide," dad offered as he looked at me with a sympathetic smile.

This was his great advice. Give her time. I did not want to give her time. I was tired of waiting and I told him this.

"Edward, you need to get a grip. You will never have a chance with her if you behave like that," dad said and then got up and left me alone in the front room.

I knew he was right, but I just wanted her. I sat there for a while thinking about what to do until I decided that I had no course of action except to give her time like dad had suggested.

I went to bed that night in her room since that was where Bella was. I wrapped myself around her so that her back was pressed to my chest and I could smell her hair. I pressed a few kisses to her neck as she slept and then I drifted off to sleep, but not before saying a silent prayer that she would come to love me as I love her.

In the morning I awoke to Bella's kisses. They were warm and felt like the sunshine on my skin. I looked at her and I could see it in her beautiful brown eyes. She was choosing me. She was giving me the chance that I had begged for.

I kissed her senseless as a thank you. I poured everything I had into those kisses, telling her that I would not fail her. We kissed tangled up in her sheets until mom knocked on the door announcing no more, but promptly went back to kissing once she left.

Bella was tease rubbing against me until I groaned in pleasure as she kissed my neck. I marveled in her new attitude and I found myself wanting to go thank my mom for whatever it was that she had said to her last night that brought on this change of heart.

We remained kissing like that until Emmett pounded on the door expressing his disgust over our being together causing Bella to giggle.

"Go away Emmett!" she ordered as she looked at me with a teasing smile that made me ache as she pulled me close once more before drawing me into another passionate kiss that took my breath away. My heart pounded in my chest as she ordered him away, basically telling him that she had picked me, that she was mine.

**AN:**

**Hello All! Thanks for reading & reviewing! I am trying to get this story caught up with Broken since a lot of the action over what happened occurs here so please forgive me lagging in this area.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	11. The proclamation

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

The summer was starting off on a wonderful note as Bella was with me all the time. After our morning of making out and coming to terms with the fact that we were together I found myself unable to stay away from her. I am not kidding when I say that it was like I was addicted to her.

I found myself pushing the boundaries with her as well. I would touch her where ever we were. It didn't matter if it was a trip to the grocery store or if we were alone in our meadow I would touch her. I think she was ok with it since she never complained; she would just give me a little smile that melted my heart.

The first time I kissed her in front of my parents was my birthday. I could not help it. She was sitting by me looking so damn beautiful that I leaned over and kissed her right in front of everyone. She went red with embarrassment and I was later talked to my dad over how to behave in public with my girlfriend.

I had decided that Bella should meet what was left of the friends that I hung out with since I wanted other people to be around outside of Emmett since he was always so bitchy about us. It was with that idea that I set up a group thing with some people from school.

We made plans to meet at the dinner and take it from there so if Bella didn't want to hang out we had an easy excuse. I could tell that night that she was nervous, but she was still there and it was because of me. I held her hand as I introduced with pride as my girlfriend to Angela Weber, Ben Cheney, Tyler Madison and Jessica Stanley. I knew that she already knew these people, but I wanted to have a chance to introduce her as my girl so I did it anyway.

I watched Bella's face as I rubbed her thigh while Angela asked her about her story. I loved that other people had read the story since it was us. It was Bella's vision and my Bella was amazing so the world should know it.

I sat there and let Angela embarrass me by telling by of all the ways I watched her before she was mine. I would catch her looking at me with a questioning look and when she did I would only shrug and feel myself turning red. I would not apologize for loving her no matter what she might think and I would follow her all over again if I needed to.

WE left the dinner to go to Angela's house and surprisingly Bella wanted to go. I would have thought hearing about me following her would have been enough to scare her off, but it wasn't. She liked hanging out with my friends. She told me that if it made me happy then it made her happy so of course she would want to go. I kissed her on the spot just for that statement.

Once we were there I watched Angela and Jessica lead her off to talk. I knew that they would be great to her; I just didn't know that they would tell her everything. I watched from across the bonfire as Bella's face twisted in surprise and fear. I would catch her looking at me and then back to them. She knew.

I could tell by the look on her face that they had told her about Mike. I could see the disapproval on her face as she looked at me. I knew that this would come back to me I just prayed that it wouldn't cost me her.

I took her hand as I lead her back to the car when it was time to go, but Bella seemed a little distant just like I thought she would be. I waited for her to say something and when she finally asked when I was going to tell her I knew that I would have to tell her everything and then hope that she would forgive me.

I drove until we were at the dead end by the entrance to the meadow that she and I would go to and there I parked the car in the darkness. I took a deep breath and then I told her everything.

I told her about Mike raping a girl and getting away with it. I told her about the second girl at the reservation that he raped. I told her about how I was worried that Mike was targeting her since he had been all over Bella that night until I forced Emmett to take her home. Bella had only remembered that I was an asshole to her that night and I guess I was, but I was just so worried that he would hurt her.

I as I explained everything I watched her face. I tried to guess what she was thinking, but Bella had the ultimate poker face on since I had no idea what was going through her mind right then. When I finished my story Bella looked at me with sad eyes and just said _ok._ That was it.

My girl explained to me that nothing was my fault and that she could never hate me over any of it. I felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest when she said this and then gave me a smile while asking if I had anything else to confess. I thought for a moment and then remembered my dad telling me to be honest with her above all so I did confess.

I confessed to calling her dad the night that she was busted for skinny dipping with Peter, Em, and Char. I told her that it was me who took their clothes and turned them in. I watched the look of horror and then anger pass over her face as she processed the information that I had given her.

I cut her off from speaking when she looked over at me.

"I am not sorry about it either so, don't ask me to be. You shouldn't have been naked with Peter or Em around," I said with a confident tone as I laughed a little. She quested as to why I would not apologize and I told her the truth once more.

"Because you are mine," I said simply and then kissed her to remind her of that fact. She melted in to my kiss as I pressed my lips to hers softly softly moaning her agreement to my proclamation. I only hoped that she knew that I was completely and totally her's too


	12. I love you

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

The summer was passing and as it did my feelings for Bella grew more each day. Every day I would discover something about her that would lead me to care deeper, and stronger about the amazing girl at my side.

Along with my feeling growing so was my hunger for her. I had always only thought of her and her alone when I would jerk off. I would think of her skin, her curves, her amazing tits, the softness of her lips and how she sounded when she sighed. I had thought of her and her alone even when I was with Tanya even if it was wrong since Tanya alone was not enough for me back then, but now everything was different.

Now that I knew what her skin tasted like, what she looked like when she came, how my name sounds when she moaned it I was completely fucking over the moon for her. It wasn't enough to just kiss her softly any more. I wanted more. I wanted to feel her skin against mine. I wanted to feel her legs around my hips. I wanted to taste her essence on my tongue. I wanted to feel her from inside. I wanted to see her face as I was inside of her, connected to her so deep that it was impossible to tell where I would stop and she would begin. I had never wanted anyone like this before. I wanted it all with her and it was driving me mad.

I would get snippets of relief here and there as we made out in swimming suites while caught in a rain storm, but even that wasn't enough. I found myself doubting myself over how far to push my luck with Bella. She was just starting to trust me and here I wanted to rip her clothes off and claim her as mine. It was fine line to walk and some nights when I would have to pull away as the need to touch her, kiss her everywhere would become too much. I could see that my pulling away her hurt her. I hated hurting her, but how could I explain what I was feeling without freaking her out? I couldn't see a way to do it.

After another frustrating date that ended with a quiet Bella as we drove back home I was beside myself with irritation. I was mad at myself for having no control. I was mad that I could not just touch her without wanting to take it further. It was too much.

We both escaped to our rooms to avoid each other which was fine since I would need some relief from the aching hard on that seemed to be my constant companion when ever Bella was around. I stripped down and proceeded to touch myself seeking release. I dreamt of Bella as I did. I imagined that she was with me, that it was her hand touching me, her whispering to me over how much she wanted me too. It was enough to send me over the edge as I imagined Bella's face as I made her cum. I drifted off to sleep naked and alone with my thoughts of Bella.

When I awoke I found Bella beside me and for one brief moment I thought I was still dreaming. Once I realized that I was in bed with Bella, naked the reality of all came crashing down on me. I would lose this girl once she realized that I was naked. She would trust me anymore. She would think I was only interested in sex, which I was interested in having sex her, but that was not the only thing I wanted with her, but it would be hard to prove now.

The panic of it all flooded my system as she pulled me close to her and I found myself trying to stop her until I finally admitted that I was naked. She laughed at me. She laughed that I wanted to put my clothes back on. She even asked me why. When she asked me why I nearly lost it with irritation. Did this girl not realize how much she tempted me all the time? Did she now know that I could not stop from thinking about her in every vivid sex act imaginable?

I explained to her that I would want more from her if we stayed like this and then she shocked me by saying that she wanted to be more with me as well. It was exciting and yet intimidating as I leaned over her for a kiss since I was bare, not just naked, but my soul seemed to be bare before her as well.

"Please tell me you want this," I whispered against her lips in a begging fashion that would have embarrassed me except that I could not find the shame in wanting her so badly.

"I want you," she whispered back to me as she pulled me close. I gasped like a fool at the closeness of being with her like this as well as her statement. She wanted _me._ She wanted _me._

At her statement I lost myself. We started to kiss and it soon was burning out of control as I pressed my naked skin again her body. I wanted her to feel how badly I wanted her. I found myself rambling, listing off things that I wanted to do to her like the idiot I was, but she would only moan in agreement as if the things I were suggesting were a great idea. It was dangerous for her to agree with me since that only seemed to spur me on more.

My mind was racing and as it I felt myself start to spiral out of control. I wanted this girl. I wanted her right here on my bed. It didn't matter to me that I had never had sex before. I wasn't scared at all. I wasn't worried about pregnancy or anything else that might come from having sex with this most amazing girl on my bed, but then one thought did stop me in my tracks.

I thought of how responsive Bella was and suddenly I wondered if she had sex with Peter. The thought of her being so intimate with another guy was like throwing cold water on me, causing me to pull away from her. I had to know, as I lasted her if she was a virgin. I told me self that it would not matter if she wasn't, but who was I kidding? It would have mattered since going forward I would always know that _he_ had claimed her first. I know that it was stupid, but I also knew that I would not be able to stop those thoughts.

I waited on baited breath as Bella sighed before telling me that she was a virgin. She even went as far as to explain why she chose not to have sex with Peter, not that it mattered to me since I was just happy that she didn't, but then I listened to her. She wanted something special. She wanted it to mean something. It was like she was reading my mind which only made me love her even more.

I watched her blush as she asked me if I was a virgin. I was so fucking happy at that moment even though I guess it was a little embarrassing to admit that I was. I wanted to add that I knew that it had to be you, but I thought it would freak her out a bit so I didn't. Instead I told my Bella every other reason as to why I would have sex with Tanya and she seemed pleased by this. I wanted her to be pleased with me.

We morphed back into kissing, except this time I was going to take off her shirt. I tugged on the material until Bella finally pulled it off leaving her in only her panties as I lay naked on top if her. She let me have free reign over her skin, touching, teasing, tasting until I thought I would explode.

I was bold and slipped my fingers under her panties, feeling her there for the first time. I was surprised by the softness of her curls there as well as how wet she was by our kissing and grinding together. I made my head spin with desire as I felt her open her legs for me, granting me access to the most private part of her. I was in awe of her generosity as I stroked her entrance without entering before teasing her clit once more. I loved that she panted and moaned for me as if I was driving her crazy when in all reality I did not have much of clue over what I was doing.

I slowly pushed a finger inside of her, being careful since I knew that she was a virgin, but yet wanting to give her more sensation as she demanded it from me. I fucking loved it that she was making demands on me like that. I added another finger and then watched as I slipped my fingers in and out of her while she twisted in pleasure underneath my actions.

It was hard to watch my fingers slipping in and out of her without thinking of replacing them with my cock. I wanted to feel the heat that was from being inside her all around me. It was driving me mad and I soon thought of how I might actually cum without her every really touching me at that moment.

I watched her with awe cum from my actions and then felt her hand trail down my stomach causing me to gasp as she traced her fingers through the hair on my belly leading to my cock. She pushed me over as I protested that as long as I had taken care of her that I did not any type of reciprocation, but Bella would have none of that. She took hold of my cock and then looked up at me with the most innocent looking big brown eyes before whispering to me to show her how to love me. That act alone was almost enough to cause me to cum since it was so innocent and so provocative all at the same time. My girl just knew how to get me.

I took her by her hand and lead her in how I liked to touch until I came hard all over my stomach by her touch. It was fantastic and we laughed together afterwards at the mess, but I had never felt closer to her then at moment.

In the morning that feeling did not go away, it only intensified. It was as if that action of touching each other bonded us in a strange way. All of my fears of pushing her physically were gone since I knew that she wanted me as badly as I wanted her. When we touched it was passionate and demanding, but there was this incredibly sweet undertone to it all that I hoped that she could see was my love for her.

It was getting harder not to proclaim my love to her. It was the first thing thought of when I saw her in the morning and as she woke up with crazy bed hair and morning breath that was surprisingly not bad. It was on the tip of my tongue as she touched, teased and kissed every inch of skin at night.

I think I may have said it when she sucked me, but I am sure that she just brushed that off as adoration for giving me oral sex, which was amazing in its own right. The more I fought the feeling the harder it tried to get out until I was wrestling with it every time we touched.

One night after we had kissed, touched and sucked each other in oblivion I awoke to the sounds of someone typing on a keyboard. It was Bella. She was furiously typing as if she was trying to put out a fire of some sorts. I watched her with fascination. She was type like mad and then stop reach over and touch me. She was working on a story and I was in love with her.

Bella finally noticed that I was watching her and looked over at me with a shy expression that melted my heart even more. I moved so I could hold her and read over her shoulder which made me sigh. My girl had a thing bout feeling safe and I went out of my way to show her that I would protect her.

We spoke of her characters Preston and Cecelia, but we both knew that her characters were us so I was over the fucking top happy when she told to back off since Cecelia loved Preston. I knew she was telling me that she loved me and it was all I needed to hear. I opened my mouth to tell her that I loved her when I noticed how embarrassed she was by it so I dropped the topic completely for her sake, but I could not help but to smile at her as I knew that she loved me just I loved her.

The next day I followed her around the house since it was rainy out and there was nowhere to go. I tried to figure out how to tell her that I loved her since I now knew that it would be ok to say that. I looked over at mom who watched us with a smile.

Mom who had been kind of pissed that we were dating was now quite happy as she watched us together. She told me one night that watching Bella and I together was like watching Bella bloom. I had laughed at her, but I could see where she had gotten the analogy from since there were times it was as if Bella was blooming right before my eyes.

That afternoon I sat by Bella reading a book as she typed. I would look over at her and smile as she worked so diligently on her story, the story of us. She was so damn cute. Once she was done she handed me her lap top with a little bit of reluctance this time for me to read. I watched her leave the room for the kitchen, a little puzzled at her reaction to letting me read, but I went forward and read it any way.

The story was at a point where Cecelia meets Preston. She described him in the story and how Cecelia saw him. I read over her words and smiled as I read how she described my looks. She thought I was beautiful, which was so laughable. She thought I was perfect, which was so far from the truth. She then described herself as a person that was not worthy of me. She spoke of her plain looks and average intelligence which was so far from the truth that it was comical. She talked of how this wonderful boy could never be interested in her which was a flat out lie since I loved her so much that it hurt at times to keep that information in.

I set down the lap top on the end table and started to leave the room to find her, but not before noticing how Emmett quickly picked it up to start reading. I stopped and turned towards him.

"Hey, that's Bella's," I said with an irritated tone since I would have to deal with him before finding Bella and explaining how she had it all wrong.

"If you can read it so can I," he replied with an irritated tone as he scowled at me. I knew that he hated all the time I spent with Bella. I knew that he hated how close we had become. I knew that he hated that I was touching her even if he would not admit it.

"Fine, read it. Read all about how much she loves me and then notice how you are never even mentioned," I said back with a smart ass smirk that I knew would piss him off. I walked off leaving him with the lap top alone.

I found Bella outside standing in the rain. She had told me before how she loves the rain and how it feels when it hits her. She looked crazy out there getting drenched, but for some reason it only made me love her more.

I followed her out into the rain and actually understood how she could love the feeling of it pelting against your skin. I stood in front of her, sopping wet while she looked at me with question filled eyes. I knew at that moment I could not hold it in any longer. I had to tell her and this time I knew that she would not be scared by my declarations.

"I love you Bella Swan," I said simply as I looked at her. I prayed that she could see the love in my eyes as I spoke. I prayed that she could hear the truth in my words as I told her that I loved her. I opened my arms to invite into them as shelter from the rain and as well as an opportunity to love her.

She stepped into my embrace and as she did I pulled her tight against me. I leaned over and whispered _I love you_ over and over in her ear as I held her close. I kissed the side of her face, moving until I captured her lips with mine. I poured all my love into the soft kiss I was giving her, hoping like hell that she could feel all my love as I kissed her.

Bella pulled back from our kiss and brought her hands up to cup my face. She looked me in the eyes with her brown eyes just shining and brimming over with love as she held my gaze.

"I love you Edward Cullen," she said with such fierce dedication that it made my heart pound in my chest as she kissed me sweetly. I found myself laughing against her lips as we kissed since it all was so unreal. I loved her and she loved me. It was simple and yet so fucking complicated. I had never felt so alive, so full of passion and love. Everything was about this small girl in my arms. She was my world and she loved me. It was an incredible high as we stood in the rain kissing, whispering_ I love you _to each other like fools in love do.

We stopped kissing long enough for me to glance over at the house. It was then that I noticed that Emmett was standing in the door way of the sliding glass door watching our private display. I got an uneasy feeling as I watched him look at my girl with anger in his eyes, but Bella quickly distracted me once more with her kisses and declarations so that when I looked over again he was gone.

**AN:  
Hello All! Thanks for reading! Hope you all had a good weekend! I did!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	13. The first time we were caught

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

After we said our _I love yous_ things were different between Bella and me, but different in a very good way. We were closer and it was amazing.

Senior year started and soon we were immersed in high school life once more, but I made sure that she knew every day how much I loved her. I told her that every day. I told her how beautiful I thought she was and how terribly lucky I was that she would even consider me at all. She would laugh at me as I would tell her all of this, but it never stopped me from pouring out my heart to her.

At school I would spend lunch time with her alone in the library, kissing, talking, touching. It was a nice break from critical eyes and I looked forward to it every day since we did not have all our classes together.

One day at the beginning of senior year Bella and I were left alone in an empty house since everyone else was in Seattle for Emmett. I loved afternoons like that since then the more playful side of Bella would emerge and I would find myself being blown on the front room couch by a very eager Bella.

That afternoon was no different. We came home and soon I found myself on the couch with Bella. I was half crazed since she had teased me all day at school with what she wanted to do to me when we got home.

I needed to slow down as Bella unbuttoned my pants, plus I wanted to her to slow down. I needed her to know that even though I loved being physical with her that it was not everything to me. I needed to her know that I loved her, so I told her. I told her all the reasons that I loved her and reminded her that she was mine. I loved how dark her eyes would go when I would tell her that I loved her. It was like she could feel my words in her soul.

Bella loved me with her mouth making me moan and hiss in pleasure. She would hum against my skin causing me to jump as I tried to fight off cumming too soon until I finally gave up and came hard in her mouth. She always amazed me by swallowing as if it was nothing when I knew it had to be gross for her. The things we do for love I guess.

I rolled her over on her back to kiss her senseless in gratitude before returning the favor on her. I loved to make Bella crazed for me before actually providing any relief. I loved how she would pull my hair in desperation. I loved the taste of her skin. I loved how she would half moan _ooh Edward_ as I would meet her gaze from between her thighs. I loved how wet she would get for me. I loved how she tasted as she would cum. I loved that when she came it was my name on her lips.

I was slowly working her up into a frenzy and I knew I was close as she grinded her hips against mine in a demanding manner while I tweaked her nipple playfully. I smiled against her skin as I heard her gasp only to realize it wasn't just her that gasped.

I could feel her freeze in place as I looked up at her from her neck. I followed her gaze and looked over to find a very stunned looking mom and dad alongside a horrified looking Emmett. I quickly dropped my head in defeat against her skin since I knew that Dad was going to kill me now.

I quickly scrambled off of Bella and pulled her into a sitting position. I found myself running a hand through my hair in effort to tame it a bit so it would not look like we had spent the entire afternoon kissing and touching even if we had.

I looked over at Dad and I could see his irritation. It was obvious and I was a dead man.

"Edward," he called and then motioned for me to follow him. I hated leaving Bella alone with mom and especially Emmett, but I knew I had no choice in the matter. I have her quick look that I hoped conveyed all the regret that I had about leaving her like this along with a promise that I would be back.

I stood up without thinking, promptly displaying my now prominent hard on that had come back to life as I had kissed her. It was so fucking embarrassing. I struggled to tuck it back in my pants without putting it in a position that would make it hurt as my dad so very nicely pointed out that my pants were undone._ Thanks dad._

I gave Bella one more look trying to tell her wordlessly that I was sorry before leaving her to the wolves. As I walked away I could hear Emmett exclaiming something about her dry humping me. I laughed at it since it wasn't exactly dry humping that we were doing.

"Is something funny?" I heard my dad ask pulling me out of the conversation that was occurring in the other room. I quickly shook my head no and tried to look remorseful.

"Really? Because you were laughing right there." He said as the anger seeped into his voice again. Had I laughed out loud? I guess I had.

Dad launched into his speech over the proper way to behave with Bella. He told me that the living room couch was in no means the proper venue to make out like that. He reminded me that he was on my side concerning dating Bella and now would be faced to deal with mother who would most likely furniture shopping this weekend due to our display.

Dad went on to remind me that he had promised Charlie that he would take of Bella and by taking care of her it did not mean allowing his son to have sex with her in the front room. I found myself laughing out loud over that one. It wasn't that funny, but he was acting like he had caught us naked fucking wildly on the couch and that was not the case.

Dad stopped and looked at me funny as I sat there. I stopped laughing since I was starting to think that this would be the time that he would actually kill me.

"Are you and Bella having sex?" he asked very seriously. I was kind of shocked by him coming right out and asking me this, but this was dad and he always went straight for the jugular.

"No!" I exclaimed in a surprisingly high pitched tone that made him look at me as if I was lying to him, but I wasn't lying. He gave me a look that said _yeah right._

"Would you tell me if you were?" he asked me as he looked me over.

"No, probably not, but that doesn't mean that we are having sex," I replied, realizing how absolutely fucked up my answer sounded.

"Ok, fine, but at least promise me that if you are that you're being careful about it. You both are too young for babies," he replied with a tired sigh that surprised me a little. He seemed defeated and I was surprised by that.

He must have been able to read my shocked look on my face as he sat there watching me with a sad smile.

"I remember what it was like to be young and in love Edward. I remember what it was like to want to be with that person always, but just try to use your brain a little in the process of it all and not just hormones,' he said with a shake of his head as if he was clearing himself of some image that bothered him.

I agreed to this and then I was released from this awkward talk. I wondered how Bella's talk had gone as I walked into the other room. I looked over at mom who gave me an angry look so I was sure that her talk did not go so well. Mom motioned me over and I knew that I was still in trouble as she looked at me.

Mom had decided that my punishment would be to be sent off to get fabric cleaner since there was no way she was sitting on the couch until it was cleaned. I wanted to laugh at her reaction since she was acting like I had jizzed all over the couch or like she had walked in on actual sex there, not some grinding and groping. I restrained myself from laughing as I was ushered out of the house to get the cleaners from the grocery store.

Once I was back I was promptly ordered to clean the couch. I wanted to find Bella and make sure that she was ok, but I had no choice in the matter. I spent the rest of the night cleaning the couch with mom's little green machine fabric cleaner while Bella was god knows where.

Once I completed my punishment I went up to bed. I could see that Bella's light was on, but with mom up there was no way I could go in there with her so I waited. I waited for 2 hours until I was sure that mom was a sleep before slipping into Bella's room.

She was asleep with her lap top still on and on her lap. Her long dark hair was splayed out around her and her face had a bit of a frown on it as she slept. I wondered if that frown was about me. I hated that I had not been able to go to her earlier. I wanted to be with her as mom talked to her. I wanted to hold her hand and show a united front, but that didn't happen.

I closed up her lap top and slowly removed it from her lap, trying not to wake her, but failing miserably at it. My heart stuttered in my chest with my love for her as her big brown eyes opened and met mine with a confused look that made me smile. God, she was beautiful and she didn't even know it.

I apologized to her for leaving her to deal with my mom and then each spoke over what had happened while the other gone. I was happy that mom was pretty easy on her, it made having to clean the couch tolerable in hand sight.

I was crawling into bed with her just like I had always done when she announced that my mom wanted her to go on the pill. I knew that the pill really was a final step for us before having sex. We had discussed it. We both agreed that if we were to take our relationship to that level we wanted something a little more reliable than a condom to protect us from early parentage.

I tried not to be disappointed when she told me how she had declined my mom's offer. I tried to remember that there would be other times and that we would still build towards it. I tried to remember that sex wasn't everything even if that was something that I wanted to experience with Bella. I knew that I could wait until she was ready even if I was sure that I was already there.

I stared at her shocked as she then went on to tell that she had already made an appointment for Saturday in Seattle at some women's clinic to go on the pill. She wrapped it up very sweetly by telling me that she wanted to be that close to me. My heart pounded in my chest at her words. She loved me and wanted to be that close.

"I want to be that close to you too," I replied stupidly. I tried to think of something better, more romantic to say to her, but nothing came to mind except thank you and that seemed very inappropriate for some reason.

I then kissed her. I poured all my thanks into that kiss. I wanted to her know that I was thankful not just for her, but for also being willing to be that close to me. Sex was big step no matter what others thought and there was no one else that I wanted to take that step with. No one else that I would ever love enough to take that step with.

She let me kiss her and tease her until she was begging for me. I loved it when she begged for me. I stripped her naked and loved every inch of her body as she tried t remain quiet for me since there was no doubt that mom would kill me if she found me in here pleasuring her like this.

I nuzzled her belly a little as I made my way down to her pussy while she twisted underneath me, urging me on to where she most needed me. I rubbed what little of a five o'clock shadow I had against her inner thighs earning myself that low moan of _oh Edward_ that made me smile while telling me just how needy she was for me.

I slowly licked her, teasing her while she watched me work. She loved to watch. It was kind of kinky and I loved that she was not shy with me about that. I wanted her to share everything with me so this made me pant with desire for her knowing that she could get off on just watching me love her.

I continued on with my mouth as she moaned, tasting her, loving her properly as she was splayed out in front of me. Her hands found my hair and she began to tug on it as I added fingers inside her, stretching her, filling her as I focused on her clit with my tongue.

I knew she was close. I could feel it in the tension of her hands in my hair and her legs around my head. I could taste in the increased wetness that greeted my tongue and fingers as I lapped at her greedily. I could see it in her face as her eyes glazed over a bit while she moaned my name and professed her love for me in a deep throaty manner that I wanted to record and listen to later when I was alone without her. Finally she came with my name on her lips as her legs twitched and her hands pulled harder on my hair.

I slowly moved up her body, knowing that she would be sensitive until I could pull her close. Bella's lips found mine and she kissed me in a slow passionate manner that made me sigh. I held her close and rubbed her hair as she slowly drifted off to sleep for me. As I held her I could not think of how life could be more perfect than what it was at this moment.

**An:**

**Hello All! Thanks for reading! I am trying to get Edward caught up here so maybe I will get an update out this weekend yet!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	14. Char's truth

Disclaimer" I do not own Twilight.

The morning after Bella announced that she was going on the pill went for the most as usual. I was hoping that mom would not take the time to lecture us once more now that we were together and dressed at her kitchen table and thankfully she did not.

It was on the ride to school that everything kind of fell apart. Bella told me that she had asked Emmett to go a long with her to her doctor's appointment. Fucking Emmett. I felt the anger race through me and I tried to contain it since Bella had no clue about Emmett. She had no idea that he liked her, but to me it was obvious. I wondered how much Char knew.

We sat in the parking lot of school while Bella told me how she shouldn't have asked him, but she didn't want to go by herself. It killed me that she thought I would have let her go by herself to that appointment, but I didn't tell her that. I reminded her instead that I just wanted to be her first thought not Emmett and that I understood why she asked. I actually did understand why she asked him. To her, Emmett is her friend and a person would ask a friend to go along with you.

I kissed my girl quickly and told her all would be well before exiting the car to tell Emmett that he was not needed for this appointment. I would go with Bella. This was about Bella and me taking a huge step forward, not him.

He was watching me as I approached where he stood with Char. I could tell by the look on his face that he knew that I was pissed at him once more.

"Hey Edward, what's going on?" he asked me casually, but there was an edge to his voice that even Char could hear.

"Bella told me that she invited you along to her doctor's appointment and I am here to tell you that you will not be needed any longer," I said calmly as Char looked at me with a funny look and then looked at Emmett.

"Oh yeah, why's that?' he asked me as his eyes blazed at me.

"Because I'm going with her," I replied calmly as I watched anger flash across his face.

"You might do well to remember that you have a girlfriend and leave mine alone," I said as anger seeped in to my voice.

"That's up to Bella," he replied with anger in his voice as we stared at each other with hatred that was always the undertone in our conversations.

"Yeah, well the funny thing is that she has never chosen you. Not once. That has to sting like a bitch," I replied with a sarcastic laugh as I watched Emmett's jaw tighten and his fist clench. I silently dared him to come over and take a swing, but he didn't.

I could hear movement behind me so I turned to look. I fully expected Emmett's friends to be there to beat the shit out of me, but instead I found Bella standing there looking at me with a confused look. I took hold of Bella's hand and then pulled her close to me so that I could feel her against me. I needed to feel her against me at that moment, plus I wanted Emmett to see that it was me. It would always be me that she would chose when it came to him and me.

I could feel Emmet's eyes on us as we held each other and whispered concerns back and forth. I leaned down and kissed her. It was a claiming kiss. I wanted everyone to see that she was with me. I could hear Emmett's grunt of disproval as we kissed which only lead to me kissing her again. I wanted him to hear her sigh as we kissed and know that it would never be him. It was cruel and wrong, but I didn't care. He had interfered too many times now for me to be nice any more.

The rest of the day and night went by in a blur since I was consumed with getting Bella's birthday present right. I had bought her a bracelet with a heart crystal charm on it. I wanted her to know that she had my heart always, plus I thought that with a charm bracelet that that I could add charms to it later that would also have meaning to us.

I had made arrangements with dad to give her the charm bracelet later in the evening of her birthday so that it would be just her and me. At first dad was not happy about it, but when I showed him her gift I think it softened him up enough for me to get some time alone. He did make me promise that there would be no fooling around which lead to another round of embarrassing questions.

Dad was concerned that we were having sex. I guess I could see why he would be concerned, but in my mind it was none of his business.

"Dad, we are not having sex," I replied to his unasked question. This was a true statement since we had not had sex yet.

"I am just saying that it seems like you two are serious and I just want you to be careful and really think that through. Sex is something that you can't take back and there are a lot of repercussions concerning sex that you may not have thought of," he offered as if he was trying to get me to see something.

"Have you thought about what would happen if you had sex with her and then you two broke up? Don't you think that would be awkward?" he asked as he looked at me.

I hadn't thought about it. I could not imagine a world where Bella and I were not together. We belonged together.

"Have you thought about what you would do if she became pregnant?' he asked me as he watched my face for my reaction.

I had actually thought about this one. I wasn't scared of Bella getting pregnant. I thought that if that happened that while we would be a little young it would only speed up the inevitable in my mind. I was destined to marry Bella Swan. I knew this and so the thought of her getting pregnant, carrying my child did not bother me.

I knew that there were chances of getting pregnant when you had sex since no birth control was 100% effective and with Bella it did not scare me. I thought of her flat belly, rounded with my child growing inside of her and while it made me a little nauseous it was only the fear of the unknown concerning the child, not being with Bella that made me sick.

"Just promise me that if you Bella take that step that you'll be careful ok?" he asked and I agreed promptly. I was in no hurry to have babies with her even if that was something that I would want in the future.

I spent the next day pampering Bella as much as she would let me. It was her birthday. She was 18 and there was reason to celebrate since going forward her mother could not step in and take her away since now she was considered an adult.

I greeted her that morning with a big kiss, not caring that we were in the hallway between our rooms were anyone could find us. I loved how breathless my kisses would leave her and how she would lean into me while kissing me back.

I spent the rest of the day finalizing plans for the weekend trip to Seattle that we had planned in honor of Bella's birthday while trying to pamper her the best I could. That night mom made her favorite dinner and then we had birthday cake complete with 18 candles for her as we all sang the most horrible, off key rendition of happy birthday ever.

I watched her go off to her room with a happy smile to write while I helped mom clean up. It did not take long to clean up since mom pretty much had everything done, but I was still rewarded with a kiss and hug from her in appreciation for my help.

I made it to Bella's room and dad appeared out of nowhere. I motioned towards the wrapped box in my hand while he rolled his eyes at me and my eagerness to give her the gift. IU walked into her room with gift in hand to find her startled by my prescience. I never came into her room this early; typically I would wait until mom and dad were asleep to come find her, but tonight was special.

I gave my girl her bracelet and she loved it. I knew she would. We spent the next moments that we had together kissing, twisted together on her bed until Dad announced that enough was enough so I had to leave for my own room. I hated leaving her there, but it was made better knowing that in an about an hour I would be back with her, holding her until the dawn creeped in.

The next morning we drove off before the others. We had her appointment and while I was excited to have it take place I was dreading it also. I hated that she had to go through some physical exam to get the damn pills, but was happy that the pills would offer some protection when and if we ever went that far together.

The women's clinic was full of pregnant women. They all were young, too young for babies in my opinion. I thought of us and how that could be us if we weren't careful.

When Bella was called back to the room I went along since it was better than waiting in a room full of pregnant women that were eyeing me like I was the enemy. The room was small and soon after some preliminary things like taking her blood pressure they asked Bella to strip down and place on some hospital looking robe.

The doctor walked in shortly after she was changed and that is where the awkwardness really settled in. I could feel the tension come in waves rolling off of Bella. I hated that she was that tense. I hated that she was doing this for us and I had nothing to offer in return. I hated that even when we did have sex that at first she was going to experience pain while I wasn't. I hated feeling no control over the situation since if I could change things I would.

I tried to make her feel better. I whispered a story to her in hopes that she would laugh. I would have whispered anything to her to make her laugh at that time since I was dying inside at the thought of her being in some sort of pain because of me. I wasn't worth it. I wasn't worth having her be in pain over it.

After the appointment we left. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, but she took the words out of my mouth when she kissed me thoroughly in the parking lot. I wondered if she could feel my remorse as we sat in my car. I wondered if she could feel how sorry I was, how I would be the one going through everything if I could.

"Bella, I would..." I started to say, but she cut me off.

"Edward, don't start. I know that you would do all of this if it were up to you. I know this. No more apologies ok? I just want us to be safe that's all," she said as she climbed over the arm rest to sit in my lap while we were in the car.

"But," I began out with a sigh as I looked into her deep brown eyes. I could almost feel myself falling as I gazed into them with their bottomless depth.

"No buts Edward," she replied and then kissed me softly to silence me.

"I want to be this close this you. I want you," she whispered while holding my gaze with hers. I watched her cheeks flame pink with her confession and I could not fight off my smile.

"I want you too," I whispered to her with smile that made her face go redder with my own confession.

"I know that you would do all of this for me if you could, but you can't so this is how it has to be," she whispered and then leaned forward and kissed me once more, trying to calm me a bit and it was working.

"I know, but I just..." I began out but she silenced me once more with a kiss. The kiss morphed into a more heated once as her mouth opened under mine inviting my tongue into dance with her's. I sighed into her mouth as I felt her fingers in my hair while she tugged a little on it in the manner that drove me crazy.

We kissed for a while until we parted, panting, trying to catch our breath before leaving to go enjoy our day together before getting together with the family. Mom had planned to take us out to dinner before we left to see a band play. That was Bella's favorite thing to do, seeing bands play that is.

The dinner was nice and soon we left them to go to the bar. Emmett and Char were with us this time. I could not help but to notice how Emmett would watch Bella. I wanted to yell at him, but with Bella and Char right there I couldn't do it, I had to let it pass since I was not about to ruin Bella's birthday.

The band was amazing to watch while we danced and drank the rest of the night away. I held Bella the entire time this time since she was my girlfriend where as last time we were just testing the waters to see where our relationship would go.

I would dance close to her during what few slow songs the band played and whisper how much I loved her as she pressed close to me. She would melt against me as I did this and soon I found myself kissing her slowly as peopled swayed around us. It was almost like being in the cover of the forest with all the people around us, providing us shelter from some people staring at us. It seemed magical in a weird way as if we were the only ones there in this sea of people.

At the end of the night I helped Bella back to our room. I shielded her from Emmett as she drunkenly stripped down and took my t-shirt off me to sleep in. She always loved to sleep in my clothes and I loved it too.

We crawled into bed together and I pulled her to me in a tight embrace. The love I had for this girl was bubbling out of me and I could not help it as I whispered to her n the dark.

"I love you Bella," I whispered against her neck and then felt her roll over to face me in the dark.

"I love you," she whispered back to me in a slur that was such a happy tone that I could not help but to chuckle a little. My girl was an adorable drunk. I leaned over in the dark and kissed her soundly as she laughed against my lips. I pressed a kiss to her nose before settling in with my nose in her hair to smell her soft scent like I always did.

We lay like that for a while and I could feel sleep slowly taking Bella over. It was relaxing to feel her so soft and warm against me. I was just drifting off when I heard it. It was the sound of someone crying. I instantly thought of Char.

Char had witnessed a lot over the last couple of days concerning Emmett. I could tell that ever since Emmett and I had words at school concerning Bella's doctor appointment that Char knew that he liked her. I had to hurt knowing that your boyfriend liked your best friend. I could hear someone get up in the darkness and walk out of the room. I couldn't quite see who it was since I was pretending to be asleep as they walked by.

I looked over at the bed and found that Emmett was still laying there. I could tell by the tenseness of his form that there was no way he was a sleep. The asshole was just going to lay there while his girlfriend was out in the hallway crying. What a fucking prick.

I got out of bed and looked back at a sleeping Bella. She looked like an angel laying there with her dark hair splayed out all over the pillow. I could hear her grumble in protest as I left her alone. I leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear.

"Sleep darling, I'll be right back. I promise," I whispered as I listened to her sigh at my words as she snuggled under the blankets as if she was seeking my warmth. I pressed a kiss to her forehead and then left her alone.

I opened the door to look for Char, but she was nowhere to be found. I walked down the hall and found her by the elevator.

"Where are you going?" I asked her softly since it was late and there was no need to wakes others up by being rude.

"I don't know. I just need to leave,' she said in a whisper as she wiped tears away from her cheeks so I would not see them.

"Char…" I started to say as she turned to me. I was going to tell that Emmett was an asshole who didn't deserve her. I was going to tell her that she was a beautiful amazing girl who would find everything that her heart desired, but she cut me off.

"Edward, I cheated on Emmett,' she said in a rush as if the words were running out of her mouth.

I was stunned. I was not expecting to hear this. Char was the last person I could ever imagine cheating on anyone. She was better than that.

The elevator door opened and she pulled me inside. We rode silently down to the lobby where we ordered coffee from the hotel bar that was still open even though it was empty. We sat there at a table in our sleeping clothes in silence as we both started to sip our coffee.

"I cheated on Emmett," she restated as if I could have forgotten what she said. I opened my mouth to speak, but she held up her hand as if to stop me.

"I had always liked Emmett. I liked being with him and even the sex wasn't so bad," she said in an off handed way that surprised me a little. I had no idea that they were having sex.

"But, then I went to a photography class, you know,' she said as she looked at me, pleading with me to understand. I knew that she had taken a photography class here in Seattle. Char took amazing photographs and the class was with older, college age students. I instantly thought of the time we met up with her and the college age guy that she was with in the coffee shop when we met up with her. Was it him that she had cheated with?

"That's where I met Lucy,' she said with a sigh as she looked away from me.

Lucy? Who the hell was Lucy?

"It started with taking pictures together and then something changed,' she said as she looked away from me as if she was scared over my reaction.

"Things changed and soon I found myself with Lucy. She is beautiful and perfect and makes me crazy in ways that Emmett never has," she stuttered as she looked away from me.

"We are together and she makes me so damn happy. I won't even get into the sex with you Edward, but I could. It's amazing. I had no idea it was supposed to be that good or perfect or wonderful," she said in a happy tone that made me want to smile a little.

She sounded so in love and she looked so happy, almost dreamy as she spoke of this Lucy girl.

"I cheated on Emmett and I need to break up with him, but I don't know how,' she whispered as a pained look settled over her face as she met my gaze once more.

"I do love him, but not like that. Emmett is a good friend, but I now know that I want other things. I want Lucy," she whispered to me and then looked away, almost bracing herself for my reaction.

"I think that it's awesome that you found someone," I whispered to her as I tried to have her look at me. I wanted her to see that I was being sincere.

"I'm your friend no matter what and so is Bella, so don't worry about us. As far as Emmett goes, you need to tell him. The sooner the better since the longer you drag this out the worse it will be,' OI offered to her as she looked into my eyes, as if trying to see if I was mad.

"Are you pissed at me?" she asked as she watched me closely.

"Pissed about what?" I asked her unsure of where she was going with her question.

"Pissed about cheating on Emmett,' she replied instantly.

"You know how well Emmett and I get along,' I offered dryly as she laughed at my comments. Char knew how well he and I got along.

"I do wish that it could have been another way since cheating suck Char and you're better than that,' I offered as her laughter stopped. She looked remorseful as she looked away.

"But who knows? Maybe it happened the way it did since it would not have happened any other way?" I offered to her and watched her smile a little.

"Tell me about Lucy," I said and took a drink of my coffee as we sat there.

Char told me all about the girl who had stolen her heart as well as introduced her to a side of herself that she was unaware of until now. We talked for a while and then walked back to the room once we had drunk our coffee.

We reached the door and suddenly Char launched herself at me. She wrapped her arms around me in a big hug as she whispered her thanks for understanding and a promise that she would tell Emmett soon.

I wondered how Em would react to this news. I wondered if it would lead him to pursuing Bella since Char was out of the way. I wondered what would happen as the fall out form Char news took hold.

I slipped back into bed by Bella. I felt her instantly turn towards to me as she snuggled closer. I could feel her breathe me in as she lay with her head now on my chest.

"Edward," she mumbled as she pressed her face into my chest.

I whispered my love for her and then closed my eyes as I tried to lull myself into sleep with the sound of her breathing. I pressed a soft kiss to her forehead and then closed my eyes.

**AN:**

**Hello all! Hope you all had a great weekend! Thanks for reading!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	15. Halloween

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

The month passed and as it did I watched Bella like I always did. Mom was right. She was blossoming right before my eyes and it made my heart warm.

I would spend lunch hours with her in the library kissing her quietly while we were supposed to be studying. I would get her to giggle and smile at me for my bold actions at school, but the truth was that I was scared. I was scared to take things further with Bella.

I wanted to be her. I wanted to make her mine and give her myself, but I won't lie when I say that it scared the piss out of me. Sex changes things and I did not want to change things. I liked the little protective bubble that I had put around us. I liked that we were so attuned to each other that I could guess her reaction to most things. I liked that she knew me so well that she could anticipate what I was going to do each day.

I also wanted our first time to be special. I wanted to rent one of those extremely expensive hotel rooms and fill it with flowers and candles just for her. I wanted her to know that I thought more of our time together than just a quick romp on her bed or mine or god forbid the backseat of the Volvo. I wanted more for her than that. Hell, I wanted more for myself than that.

Bella in true Bella fashion said that she didn't care. She just wanted me and that was enough for her. It made my heart pound every time she spoke like that because I knew that she was telling the truth. I knew that I was all she wanted. I would try to tell her that she was all I wanted to, but she would just laugh as if I was telling her a joke.

The month slipped by and soon I found us at Angela Webber's Halloween party. I had decided that I would go as Bella's character Preston. Sure, no one would know who I was except for Bella, but that didn't matter to me. She was the only I cared about what they thought anyway.

It was easy to dress as Preston. I just needed normal clothes and some fangs even though her Preston did not have fangs, just very sharp teeth. I thought she would love it and I was not disappointed at all by her happy, almost giddy reaction to my costume along with her rapid agreement to be my Cecelia with fangs that night as well.

We left for the party and all the while I knew that she would be watching for Emmett and Char. I knew that Bella would be worried, but I also knew that tonight was the night that char was telling Emmett about Lucy. She had promised me that she would. Emmett and I may not get along, but I could support lying to him while she cheated with another girl.

The night was going well as we drank. The party was loud and getting out of control when I was able to convince Bella to step outside me into the cool night air. It was so nice after being inside where body heat from cramp quarters and too many people were making it hard to manage.

"I love you," I whispered as I pulled her close as she giggled against me. Bella was an adorable drunk with her sweet giggles and horny nature.

We kissed as we groped each other in the shadows of the porch. The rain started and soon we would need to go in, but Bella protested saying that it was too loud. She was right it was too loud, plus I just wanted to be alone with her. I wanted to strip her naked and taste her skin so going back inside was out of the question.

After a moment of deliberating we decided to head home. There was no one there since mom and dad were in Seattle for some Halloween party and god knows where Char and Emmett were. I could only hope that where ever they were that Emmett was ok abs was Char. I knew that Em would take her news hard, but you can't help who you love.

We walked in the rain until I could not take it any longer before pulling Bella under our neighbor's tree to kiss her in the rain. I loved to kiss her in the rain since it seemed like it was only us in the world when we were like that.

We kissed under the shelter of the tree until a car came round and flashed there lights at us. I was able to look to see who it was as I pulled away from Bella. It was Emmett with Char. I wondered if she had told him yet, but then quickly moved that thought to the back burner of my mind so I could focus solely on Bella.

I picked up and carried her the short distance to my house while she clung to me in the rain. I could feel her move closer so that her mouth was by my ear.

"When we get home I am going to strip your clothes off and lick the rain off your skin," she whispered in my ear in a breathy manner that made me moan. She was good to her word when it came to touching and kissing. I could hear giggling increase as I moaned out loud at her teasing.

We finally made it to the front of the house and I was surprised to see how sinister it looked at night when it was decorated for Halloween. Mom had evil looking jack o'laterns in each window glowing with menacing faces. It was downright creepy.

We made it inside the house and were engulfed by its silence. I do not think I had ever heard the house sound so empty. I looked at Bella and I could see that she was calculating something in her mind. I could see the slight smile on her face as I reached over and moved her rain wet hair off her face as it stuck to her there.

We both managed to kick off our shoes and socks before our hands found their way back to each other once more. I pulled at her wet shirt, tuggoning on it until she stood before me in her black lacy bra that made her breasts look even larger than what they were, not that she was flat chested at all. Bella reciprocated by tugging my shirt off as we walked through the house.

I pulled Bella close to feel the skin of her chest and belly press against mine causing the most delightful sizzle across my skin from the electricity that was present every time we touched. I wanted more of this sizzle. I wanted to feel it burn me. I wanted to feel her, all of her against me.

We were kissing passionately as we stood in the middle of this empty room when Bella began to unbutton my pants. I could feel her nimble fingers working against my button fly while stroking me at the same time. Bella was always one to multitask.

I made quick work of her pants and soon they were in a puddle around her ankles as she stood in front of me. I picked her up to untangle her from her wet jeans and enjoy feeling her skin against mine once more while she tried to pull my jeans down at a frantic pace.

I think it was at the moment that it dawned on me that this was the time. It dawned on me that she was right just as she always was that there was no need for fancy hotels or trips to Seattle. In fact fancy hotels and trips to Seattle weren't us at all. I had been trying to turn our first time into something that was someone else's perfect vision when in reality we needed so little.

_Our_ perfect time would be a rainy night in Forks in either her bed or mine where everything first started for us. That was our perfect time and tonight was it. The house was empty; we had each other and the rain. That was all we needed.

I picked her up and carried her up the stairs, leaving our wet clothe sin piles located around the front of the house. I would have to remember to pick them up before mom got home. Bella kissed every possible piece of skin she could reach on me as I carried her, all the while murmuring how amazing she thought I was. I wanted to correct her, but I didn't since she hated to be corrected.

I made the decision that we would go into my room, my bed was bigger after all and that is where I sat her down gingerly on the cover. I looked dta her for a moment taking in the beautiful sight of Bella in only her black lace bra and panties with her creamy white against my black bed cover. She looked unearthly, as if an angel had descended into my room.

I left her for just a moment to grab the candle that I knew my mom had in the hallway. I brought it into my dark room and lit it as Bella teased me. I could not tell that the glow of the plug in jack o'latern was not enough to see her by in the darkness and I wanted to see her. I wanted to see her as we made love for the first time. I wanted to watch her face as we were together, but I thought if I told her that she would freak out a bit like she does when I watch her, so I didn't.

I crawled on the bed by her and pulled her close so that I was nearly on top of her. I knew that she could feel me hard and ready against her stomach as my cock ached from the pressure of it all.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered to her as I held her close. I watched her blush for me, for my words and it made me smile. It shocked me that she could not see her beauty.

"Tell me," I whispered to her. I needed to hear her say it. I needed to hear it not just with my ears, but also with my heart since only then would I knew that what we were about to do was right for us.

"I love you Edward," she whispered back in a sincere tone that spoke volumes to heart. Yes, what we were doing was right.

"I love you Bella, always," I replied as I leaned down to capture her lips with mine.

I tried to remember what I had been told about first times, but I hated to remember that it was my dad who had told me.

He had told me during one of our conversations that to be a good lover that you would have to ensure that your partner's needs were met first since as a man your needs will get met no matter what. I remembered him telling me that for woman the first time isn't always so nice since it typically hurts and it can set a tone for the rest of your times together until you can show her how nice it can be. I wanted to laugh as I thought about my dad's generic descriptions of sex for the first time, but I get why he was so generic about it since it probably was as difficult for him to say as it was for me to hear.

It was his words that kept me in check as we kissed and explored each other like we had before in the past. I kissed her skin and tasted her everywhere all the while, refusing to have her pleasure me. It was driving her mad, but I loved to watch her lose it. I loved to fell her cum against my fingers or tongue and I needed her to be satisfied before we attempted this since there was no way she was going to be satisfied at first by us together like that.

I slowly kissed my way back up her body, only pausing to pay special attention to her most perfect breasts as I situated myself between her thighs. I rubbed myself against her wetness there and then hissed as she jumped at the contacted. She was sensitive from all the attention my tongue had given her and that made me happy in weird way that I cannot explain.

I could feel her widening the space between her legs, making room for me, as I moved myself so that I could enter her. It was a now or never type of moment so I looked into her eyes without say anything, giving her the chance once more to back out of going any further, but Bella only grabbed my face and pulled me down into a deep kiss, encouraging me as I sunk into her body.

"Bella, baby, you have to tell me if it hurts too much. I won't know…" I said in a stutter voice against her lips as I slowly entered her body.

She was hot against my skin as she engulfed me in her tightness. I could feel the wetness making it slick as I pushed in and I could feel her body give way for me. It was odd and yet somehow frightening all at once.

I pulled out a little and then pushed in further into her body, feeling more heat and wetness as she engulfed me more until finally after a few strokes I was completely inside her being burned by her heat. I looked down between us and was amazed since there was no ending of her and beginning of me, we were just one.

It was at that moment that I looked at my Bella's face to find tears streaming down her cheeks. All could think of was that I had hurt her and I instantly froze mid stroke, which was good since I was on the verge of cumming so soon, but her tears stopped that process for me.

I was scared that she was hurt and I had noticed. I stopped moving and tried to pull out of her, but Bella stopped me. She wrapped her legs around my waist pulling me to her and also causing me to slip deeper inside her which caused us both to gasp at the sensation of it.

She assured me that she was just emotional and I understood it. It was overwhelming to be this close to her, to feel this much for her, with her like this.

Bella urged me on with her soft pleading and roll of her hips that caused me to moan at the feeling of it before I moved within her again.

"I love you, I love you," I said against the wet skin of her neck as I pressed my face close there for a kiss before returning my lips to her lips. We stayed that way as I felt myself thrusting faster and harder into her as if my body was losing control while the pleasure spiraled around me.

I could feel her lips against my neck, kissing and sucking as I started to cum to the sounds of her breathing, my panting and the wet sounds our bodies were making as they slapped against each other until I could not hold off any longer. I thrust one last time as I lost control, filling her with my cum as I saw stars across my eyes while thinking only of her.

I collapsed on her body, crushing her to me, unable to move since it was as if I had poured every bit of my strength into her all at once. My heart was pounding in my chest, ready to burst out with everything that had happened and my love for her. I grabbed her face with my hands and kissed her silly. I kissed away her tears only to find that mine were replacing hers against her skin as I cried like a fool in her arms.

Bella met me kiss for kiss in a claiming and comforting manner that made me sigh against her. Once I was sure I could move I tried to move off her so that she could breathe, but Bella refused. She wanted me to stay where I was, on top of her, inside her. She told me that she never wanted to lose this connection with me and I could only laugh and agree.

We whispered _I love you _back and forth until we both feel asleep like that. It was warm and comforting. I had my Bella and she had me as we both drifted off to sleep.

I awoke a short time later to sounds within the house. At first it sounded like someone was moving around, but I was sure we were alone so I didn't bother to look, instead I remained with Bella. I slowly moved off her and then laughed a little as she frowned in her sleep at the lack of contact from me.

It didn't take long for her to wake up since I had moved off her and once she was awake I was able to take care of her better. I told her not move and then I left her to clean up in the bathroom. I promptly returned with a cold wet cloth, some pain killers and a glass of water. I knew she would be sore in the morning, or at least that was what I had been told anyway. I was able to get her to take the pills, but it took a little more convincing to allow me to place the cloth on her tender private area.

"Would you just let me take of you," I said with a sigh as Bella looked at me with a sigh, finally allowing me to place the cool cloth against her skin, soothing and cleaning her a bit.

Bella leaned into me as I held the cloth against her skin while my other arm held her close to me. I peppered her face with kisses as she looked away in embarrassment. To me there was nothing to be embarrassed about, but Bella was still red faced as she clung to me.

After a few minutes I removed the cloth and just held her there to me. I told her wonderful, amazing and perfect she was. I told her that I loved her with everything I had and then some. I watched as her face went different shades of red in the candle light as I whispered my words to her until she silenced me with a kiss.

We curled up together to sleep and we did I could hear the noises once more, except this time it was the sound of a door opening and closing. I looked at Bella and told her to stay here as I slipped on a pair of boxers from my drawer and my baseball bat from my closet before walking out of the room to see what was going on.

I walked around the house trying not to think of every fucking scary horror flick that I have ever seen where the guy gets killed after having sex. I made it down stairs slowly uncertain of what I would find once I got there.

I started in the kitchen and discovered it was empty before moving on to the front room. The front room was dark and hard to see in so thank fully the glowing pumpkins lit the way a little bit in a very creepy manner. I had my bat raised as I walked in while the hair in the back if my neck stood up as if alerting me of some sort of danger.

I walked in and found the room silent. I almost laughed at my stupidity when I turned to find a person sitting on the couch. I nearly pissed myself at the sight since it was so cliché and like a horror film that it killed me.

I took a better look as the person stood up while I was frozen in fear. It was Emmett. He bent down and grabbed something from the floor before throwing it at me. It was our wet clothes that we had taken off as we got inside the house.

I shook off the clothes as anger took over me.

"What the hell?" I demanded as I stood there with my bat in hand, poised ready to strike.

"I live here too remember," he replied in a whispered angry tone that sounded like a hiss.

I instantly thought of Bella and I. OI wondered if he had been here for when we made love. Did he hear us? Bella would be so embarrassed and pissed about it if he had.

"How long have you been here?" I demanded from him as I stood there never dropping my bat.

"Long enough to know that you don't deserve her," he replied in an icy tone that made me shudder from the coldness of it.

"She loves me and I love her," I replied with a smug tone since there was no way he could deny it.

"Yeah, I heard," he replied in a sarcastic tone that made me fight off the urge to lung at him. He had been in here. He had heard us. I saw red as I looked at him. He had heard what was private, personal between us and I was ready to kill him over it, but I couldn't. I would not let him turn what was a beautiful private moment between me and the girl I love into something cheap or dirty.

Emmett laughed a little as he turned and walked out of the house. He left me standing there at a loss over what to do so I did what I could, I went back to Bella.

I lied to her. I told her it was nothing. I should have told her the truth. I should have warned her.

**AN:  
Hello All! Thank you so much for reading. I am hard at work at the next chapter of Broken, but I wanted to get this out there since things will start to move faster from here for Edward.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**Xxoo**


	16. The morning after

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

The morning after we had made love was amazing, but I was on guard since I knew that Emmett was around, possibly listening to us as we spoke. I shut the door to my room and locked it. OI turned on the stereo and played soft music to drown out our words to each other. He had no business listening to us. It was twisted and sick.

I thought a head of myself to a time when there would be no need to lock the door. I thought of time that it would be Bella and I in our place. We could spend mornings like this one, wrapped up in each other's arms, naked and eager. When there would be no one to hide from and no need to drown out our sounds.

We made love well into the morning over and over again. The sound of our breathing and sighs meshed into the sounds to the songs that played into the back ground. I loved how her eyes light up as pleasure zinged through her system. I loved how she wasn't shy about telling me how fast she needed me or if she needed more. It was almost to cause to me lose it as she demanded me to move faster, or harder as she chased after her orgasm. I wanted her to cum with me inside her, but we both were kind of lost as to how to make that happen since we both were new at this part of our love.

I watched the clock at times since the last thing I wanted was to be in here lost in Bella when my parents came back home. It was bad enough the Emmett knew about us, let alone how my parents would react.

As the time drew near we got up and cleaned my room a bit. I hid the sheets since I knew mom would notice a blood stain, plus I did not want Bella to be embarrassed. She actually laughed at me as I hid them in my closet, but I was ok with since I would do anything, even face her laughter to protect her.

Bella took off for the showers and even then I could not leave her alone. I knew we were down to moments before my parent's arrival, but now that I had been with her I was addicted. I was addicted to her skin, her taste, her heat and the sounds she made when I was inside of her.

We washed each other gingerly since I knew that she was sore, but I was shocked to find that I had sore muscles as well. My abs burned as did my thighs from use, but I could not complain at all. It was a slow, soft shower that resulted in making love to her against the cold tiles as I concentrated on her breathing and the sound of my name bouncing off the tiles.

When we finished I wrapped her in a thick towel after drying her properly. She had forgotten her clothes, which was so typical of her. After I dressed I opened the door and stepped out, but not before I was certain that she was covered up properly.

I was going to escort her to her room just in case Emmett was in there waiting to harass her, but as I stepped forward I found him in the hall waiting for us obviously. His face was contorted in anger. I stared at him, silently daring him to do something, say something, but he remained motionless. I had no idea what was going though his mind I only knew that I had to get Bella out of there so I walked her to her room and left her there to get dressed after a soft kiss that I could not resist.

I waited as she closed her door and then turned towards Emmett. If he had anything to say he needed to say it now.

"Couldn't wait to make her your whore huh?' he asked with a sneer that surprised me. I was shocked to hear him speak of Bella like that. Bella was far from a whore and he was only saying that to get a rise out of me. It worked. I felt the anger in my blood as I walked over to him with the intent of breaking his nose. I shoved him hard as he fell backwards into the wall that he was almost leaning on. He looked shocked by my action, but what did he think I would do when he called Bella that?

"Don't you ever call her that again. Do you hear me?"I asked him in almost a hiss as I stepped closer to his form as he teetered back and forth to avoid falling on his ass.

Emmett said nothing, but instead just scowled at me before walking away. I watched him retreat into his room and then slammed his door in defiance to me.

I spent the rest of day trying to keep him away from Bella. She had no idea that he knew. She had no idea that he had heard us. She had no idea who fucking nuts he was and it was now my job to protect her.

Mom and Dad came home and soon I no trouble occupying Bella. Mom swooped in and took off her. They went shopping at the grocery store and talked about whatever it was that mom and Bella laughed about. I was guessing it was dad and I that would make them laugh so loud, but Bella always denied it with such sneaky smile.

While they were gone I was able to relax a little. I went to my room and closed my eyes as if I was going to nap when I heard Char's voice. She was in Emmett's room. She was telling him about Lucy. It was hard not to listen and after last night I felt like I did not owe Emmett any privacy in this matter.

I could hear her agonizing as she told him that she was in love with another. I could hear his lack of reaction ringing true in the room. Maybe he knew all along that things weren't right between them, I don't know. Maybe it didn't matter to him.

I could hear her crying and begging for forgiveness. I could hear his outright denial of that forgiveness telling her that what she has done was unforgiveable. It was hard to listen to. I finally heard Char leave in a quiet cry that broke my heart a little since I knew that Char never meant to hurt him.

I sat there lost in my thoughts of Char and Emmett when it dawned on me that Emmett was talking with Bella. I could hear his voice rising from the outside. I could hear him warning her about me.

It was ridiculous that he would go so far as to tell her that I would hurt her. I would never hurt her. I ran down the stairs in time to find Bella alone on the porch lost in her thoughts alone. The fucking coward had left her alone to stew after his threat of my hurting her. He knew exactly how much this would hurt her and he didn't care. Fucking amazing. He claims to be her friend and this is how he treats her.

I walked over to her and slipped my arms around her to pull her into an embrace. She felt cold and I soon was rubbing her arms in effort to bring her warmth. I hated the glazed over look in her eyes. I hated that she doubted me because of him. I hated him at this moment.

I held her as I whispered soft words in her ear hoping like hell to combat whatever horrors about me her mind and Emmett's words were generating. I whispered how I loved her. I whispered how she was my world. I whispered that I was lost without her and finally I whispered the piece of cheesy poetry that we had found written in a library book by some lovesick high school student that came before us.

"You are the sun and without you I would fade," I whispered in a reverent voice before kissing her cheek solemnly.

I felt her giggle before I heard her. It was at that moment that I felt her relax against me once more as she went on to quote the next equally cheesy line. We completed the love sick poem with soft laughter before going back inside to face our family. I had managed to defuse that situation that Emmett had caused and prayed that I would be able to defuse any other issues that he would throw our way.

**AN:  
Hello all! Thanks for reading! On a side note the poem "You are the sun and without you I would fade" was a written for me, yes, me, in high school by my high school sweet heart. I doubt if he's reading so I guess it's ok to quote. Trust me when I say the rest of the poem is just as cheesy as that line, but I loved it at the time. **

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	17. Senior Year

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Time marched on and as it did so did our senior year. I spent most of my time wrapped up in Bella. She was all concerned about going to Iowa next fall for college and if I was being honest so was I. I hated going so far away. I hated that she had made her decision based on Emmett.

Emmett was always around lurking in the background like some dark cloud hanging over us. I wanted to just risk Bella away from him, but she never understood my concerns. I wanted to tell her that he had been there that first night that he had listened to us, but I could do. I would not let him ruin what was a perfect memory for her, so instead I did my best to put as much distance between the girl I loved and my brother as I could.

It was easy to put distance between them. Bella was as wrapped up in as I was in her. We spent every moment together it seemed like and when we didn't the moments dragged until we were together again. Emmett would complain to her that she was never around when he thought I wasn't listening to them, but I heard every word.

I would hear him tell her how I was a bad choice. I would listen to him tell her that I would only hurt her, but my girl would laugh at him. She would give him a patient smile and then just shake her head as if he had proposed something so insane that she could just not believe him. It was comical on my end to watch since no matter what Emmett said, nothing changed my girl and that made y heart swell with love for her even more than what it already it.

She believed in me and I had no idea who amazing that would feel. I had no idea that her simple faith in would make me smile and brighten my world. I wondered if this was how my dad felt about my mom. I wondered if this was how it was always meant to be. I wondered about the future a lot concerning my girl.

The weeks passed and as they did we flew by the holidays until we finally arrived on New Year's Eve. Normally I would not care about such a holiday, but this time I could not resist, but to be happy. I was going to celebrate the New Year with Bella at my side and I could not think of a better way to ring in the New Year.

Mom and dad had plans for an overnight trip to Seattle. He was taking her to some expensive couple's get away in some fancy hotel leaving me, Bella and Emmett alone. I hated that Emmett would be here, but I could work around that, I had before I could do it again.

I had made plans for Bella and me to spend the night in my room, alone. I would lock door and it would be just us. I had it all planned and fuck Emmett if he thought he could change any of it.

When New Years Eve finally arrived I stole Bella away into my room. She laughed as I locked the door, but she had no idea about Emmett and I wasn't going to tell her. We watched movies and kissed until we slowly stripped each other of our clothes.

She glowed white like an angel in the glow of the TV while whispering how beautiful she thought I was. She always told me how beautiful she thought I was which was laughable in comparison to her. She was breathtaking and she had to know it by now.

The night was amazing and at the stroke of midnight I held her close to me. I kissed her silly as she giggled from too much Champaign as we rang in the New Year. I made impossible promises that I planned on keeping like being with her forever, marrying her some day, and having babies with her, which only made her howl in laughter as I spoke.

"You're wounding my ego here Bella," I teased as I tickled her sides as she squirmed away from me on my bed. I hated that she laughed my plans. I hated that she thought I was joking since I dead serious. The girl was future I had known it since I was 14.

"Oh, poor Edward! " she exclaimed mockingly as she wrapped her arms around my neck to pull me close. I tried not to focus on her laughter, but instead the fact that I would make good on plans with her.

The year continued to pass and soon we made to it the end of our senior year. Bella had agreed to go to prom with me with some help of my mom reminding her that this was a rite of passage that should not be missed.

I will never forget how she looked in her short black dress that hugged her curves perfectly as she walked down the steps like an angel in high heels that made me go hard. She was sexy and breathtaking. She owned me and the room as she descended to greet us.

Dad gave me a look. I knew what he was thinking. Ever since he and mom had found out that Bella and I were having sex he would make comments. I use the word comments generously since typically they were statements concerning sex. I would be reminded that he was not in place to be a grandpa yet. I was reminded that even though Bella and I both were 18 we were still children. I was reminded that a true gentleman does not have sex with his girlfriend in the back seat of his car. I was also reminded that a respectable son does not have sex with his girlfriend in his room while his parents sleep down the hall. I was neither a respectable son nor a true gentleman since I had done both with a smile on my face and Bella had been the one who had encouraged me on the task. She was just as insatiable as I was at times.

We spent that night of the prom dancing close, no matter what music they played. We hid on the outskirts of the mob of dancers so that we had space and privacy as I whispered sweet words in her ear as she sighed. It didn't matter that people stared at us. It didn't matter that Emmett, who still went with Char, glared at us. The only that mattered was the girl in my arms.

After the dance we left in my car. I had a plan in place. I was taking her to the meadow to star gaze and make love to her there. I had the car packed and was promised by the weather guy that it would be a clear night. I watched as Bella smiled at me this huge toothy grin as we pulled up alongside were we would walk into the meadow. She laughed as I picked her up even though I was weighted down by the heavy back pack that I had brought along with for us.

The walk didn't take long and soon I had her standing there as I smoothed blankets on the ground for us to lie on. Once I had everything situated I patted the ground and she joined me there. I pulled her closer to keep her warm as I pointed out the stars in the sky and while listening to her breathe.

We sat there watching the sky and we would kiss occasionally. We talked about the future and what we both wanted which was something that we had never really done before.

I told her that I would follow her anywhere. I told her that she was my future. I told her that I planned on marrying her someday soon since I was not about to watch forever to make her my wife. I told her that I saw our children when I looked at her, that I could see how amazing they would be. I told everything that I wanted in the future and everything that I wanted was her anything else was just bonus for me.

Bella cried as I spoke and I knew at that moment that she wanted me as well. She told me there was no future without me and I knew how she felt. We spent the rest of the night kissing, building upon the fire that was slowly burning us from the inside out.

I slowly unzipped Bella's dress and she quickly wiggled out of it leaving me gawking at her as she lay there in a black lace bra with matching black lace panties with her garter and stocking still on. She looked like a sexy woodland fairy that was mine for the taking.

Bella's dark eyes glowed black as we she slowly unbuttoned my shirt while smiling at me the sexiest mischievous grin that I had ever seen on her face. We had talked about making love out here in our meadow, but had yet to do it. This would be the night.

She slowly undressed me and then pushed me back on the blanket as she tugged my on boxers. I lay back with a stupid grin since I loved it when she took charge. She was so fucking sexy when she ordered me around like that.

Bella whispered soft words as she leaned over me while straddling my hips in only her garter while I took off her bra, exposing her breasts to me so I could kiss her, but she would none of it. She was bent on leasing me there on the floor of our most special meadow. I could feel her nip and kiss against my skin of my collar bone as her hand drifted lower over my belly to where my hard cock was trapped against her thigh.

Bella was not patient that night as she kissed down my body, worshipping me as she had once called this and it was true. I felt like I was being worshipped as I felt her hands and lips everywhere. It was almost too much by the time she took me in her mouth, but not before giving me a long lick of her velvety tongue.

I gritted my teeth against the sensation as she slowly sucked on me in her warm mouth. It was torturous and heaven all at once. I wanted to thrust into her mouth. I wanted to hold her head and guide her as to how I needed her mouth to be at this moment, but then she pulled off me with the sound of a loud pop from the suction she had on me.

She left me panting as she moved so she could look down upon me in what little moon light we had. I could see my cock almost shimmer in the light from her spit from where her mouth had been as she moved so that she could take me. I watched like a greedy pervert as she moved so that I was slowly filling her, stretching her to adjust to my size.

The feeling of heat that filled me as she slowly took me in inch by inch until she had filled herself with me was amazing, but teaming that up with being able to watch it happen was almost enough to make me cum immediately. I grabbed her hips and held her there for a moment to calm myself, but this only caused her to grind against me so that I was rubbing against her clit, making her shudder, which in turn made me shudder from the sensation.

Once I was sure that I would not lose it I helped ease her up so she could find her rhythm on me. It was beautiful to watch her ride me with her dark hair slowly coming undone from the elaborate bun that it was placed in for tonight. I met her downward thrusts with upwards ones causing her to chant my name as I drew her closer to her cumming.

I loved watching her. Her eyes would lock with mine as I entered her and it was always then that I felt that soul connection with her. I knew that no one else would ever have that with me, just her. Bella's thrusting on me became more erratic and I needed her to cum so I could as well since watching me slid in and out of her was beginning to cause me to cum too quickly as it amplified the sensation of it all. I rubbed against her clit as I felt her start to tighten around me as I thanked god that she was finally there, lost in her euphoria, with my name on her lips.

I pulled Bella close as we were still joined and then rolled her over her back so I could take over since Bella was lost in her own haze. I pulled myself up to my knees as I held on to her hips, pulling her into me as I thrust into her harshly while I tried to hold off my orgasm. I wanted this moment to last. I wanted to look at her in the moon light as we made love. I wanted to memorize her body, her face as I filled her while she came around me. It was beautiful and I wanted more.

I felt her legs wrap around my lower back so she could pull me in closer, deeper, as I thrust into her. She then lifted her arms above her head displaying everything to me as I watched. I looked down to where we were connected and that was enough. I felt the coiling in my stomach start to become heat as I lost myself to my own orgasm. I gripped her hips tightly, to the point where I know bruises would be there tomorrow, but I could not stop myself as I filled her with my seed as her name became the air that I was breathing.

I collapsed into her waiting arms as she pulled on me until I was covering her body with mine. She loved this part it seemed. She loved holding me close afterwards just I loved to kiss her until neither of us could breathe as we came down from our love making high.

I don't know how long it was that we lay there like that until she finally gave me a push to get off her. I sat up and watched her stretched lazily with a grin as she closed her eyes. She looked happy and I could not have been more pleased with myself to have put that look on her beautiful face.

We slowly got dressed and headed back to the car just as the clouds started to roll in once more announcing rain. We had just made back when the first rain drops started to fall up on us. I pulled her close and gave her a kiss before walking around to my car door to get in.

There wasn't much to do in Forks at 3AM so we went back to my house and lay in the hammock on the front porch with blankets covering us. We kissed and touched until the need became too much once more resulting in clothing being removed with hushed laughter as we told each other if we were going to do this we would have to be quiet.

The swinging from the hammock helped as we slowly made love with Bella on top of me pressed flat against my chest. I kissed her, tangling my tongue with her's as I filled her body over and over slowly without ever really leaving her. I swallowed all over her words of love and soft moaning until she came followed by my own release into her.

We laid there once more just holding each other before I would have to slip my pants back on as she slid her dress down to cover herself, but left her panties off so I put them in my pocket. I held her to me as she lay on my chest kissing my neck until we both went to sleep.

I'm not sure how long we were asleep out there before I heard my dad's voice beside us.

"Don't bother Es. I found them. They are alive it appears and asleep out here on the porch," he yelled causing me to open my eyes.

The light was blinding as my dad stood there in the morning sun staring down at us. I felt Bella stir on top of me moving some of the blankets so that it was seen that we were still in our prom outfits.

"Why didn't you just come inside?" Dad asked me as he looked at down at me laying there on the hammock with my girl in my arms.

I didn't answer him because he knew. He knew that I wanted that night with her. He looked at me and then shook his head before mumbling something about he was too young to be a grandpa which caused Bella to roll her eyes at me like she always did whenever he mentioned his concern about our sex life and birth control.

I grabbed her face gently between my hands and kissed her softly as I whispered good morning to her, happy to see her smiling face greet me like that. She would always laugh as I wished her a happy morning, but I couldn't help it. The girl made me stupid at times.

We laid there for a while, swinging in the hammock, kissing softly as we held each other enjoying the day until mom yelled that it was time to get up. I helped Bella crawl off me before standing and grinning over deliciously sore muscles that only came that way after sex in awkward in places like ground or a hammock. I laughed as Bella giggled at me since my pants were still undone, almost causing them to fall off as I stretched.

"I'm going to shower, but I'll meet you in your room once I'm done," she said with a smile before pressing a kiss to my lips. I nodded in agreement as I watched her walk off, barefoot caring her shoes from last night with a silly grin on her face.

I looked back at the hammock that had been our bed last night and smiled since it had served us well just as the hard ground in the meadow had. I buttoned my pants before I started to pick up the blankets that we had out there to keep us warm over night. It was then that I noticed him.

Emmett was sitting on the porch steps with an emotionless look. He was watching me and as I caught his eye I saw the anger flare. I continued on task as I watched him stand up and walk closer to me. He watched me with a smart ass look on his face that I wanted to knock off.

I walked by him, bumping into him as I passed by with the blankets that I was taking in to be washed.

I heard him growl in a frustrated manner as I knocked him out of the way. It made me laugh a little as I passed, but then he caught me off guard. I found myself slammed into the house hard as he shoved me. The pain in my head blossomed as my head bounced off the wall.

"Go take a shower you reek of sex," he yelled at me as I stood there shocked by his actions. I watched as he stomped away leaving me alone for the moment. I could feel something dripping down the back of my neck. I reached the back of my head and touched the tender spot there to discover that I was bleeding from where my head hit the house.

Looking back I should have told Bella about all of this. I should have kept him away from her, but at the time all I was thinking that he would be leaving soon and I would be free of him. I forgot that I was going to be following him. I forgot that once more I would have to be around him and protect my girl except this time we would be 2000 miles from home.

**AN:**

**Hello all! Happy Monday! I hope you all are doing well. Thanks once more for reading this story!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	18. Graduation

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Graduation should have been a happy time, but it wasn't. It was a time of waiting and wanting, but happiness was not found. I could sense Bella's want. I could sense her hurt that she had no real family there. I could see it in her eyes even if no one else.

Mom had tried to get Renee to come for the ceremony. She had tried to convince her that Bella was worth it. Renee had even gone so far as to promise to be here, but here as we sat at the ceremony she was nowhere to be found. I knew she would do this and this was the reason why I demanded that mom tell Bella nothing about getting Renee here. I knew that if Bella found out and Renee was a no show that it would crush her. I just couldn't do that to my girl.

I watched her smile as she walked across the stage to the cheers of my family and me, but I could see that she was hurting. She missed her dad, it was obvious.

After the ceremony we went back to my house and mom had a celebration cook out that we kept low key. It was a nice way to end our high school years in my opinion. It was private and intimate to be surrounded by the people that I loved best. I would squeeze my girl tighter to me as we sat by each other while discussing Iowa with dad.

Dad was concerned about us leaving. I could see it on his face. The look had been there for a few weeks now, but I was more surprised over what he was so concerned about. He had pulled me aside one night after Bella and I had come home to discuss things. I was sure that it was about our sex life since it was a favorite topic of his, but he surprised me completely instead.

Dad was concerned about Emmett and Bella. He didn't like how Emmett looked at her. He didn't like the new level of violence that was occurring as a result to our increased fighting. I would get pulled aside and told how I needed to stop antagonizing him while Emmet would be told to leave me and thus Bella, alone. It was a fine line dad was walking between us and he hated that we were all going to the same place. The one saving grace was that he knew that Emmett would be too busy with football to be around us and I would be too busy with Bella.

I hated that I would be in Iowa with him as well, but I could not ask Bella not to go there. It was something that she had wanted to do and thought was important to her writing. I could not ask her to give it up and stay in Washington even thought I wanted to.

The rest of graduation night went smoothly. I watched Bella until she finally asked for us to leave. I knew that she would want to go to the cemetery to see her dad so after a soft kiss I quickly drove off to see Charlie Swan.

Going to the cemetery was becoming second nature for us. Bella liked to go. She said that she found peace there. She said that if she listened close enough that she could almost hear her dad talking as she stood there.

When we would go most of the time I would just stand there, holding her hand, offering her what little support I could, but this time I had my own agenda in mind. I needed to talk to Charlie as well.

We drove silently like we always did when it came to arriving here. It was like we were scared to disturb the dead with the silence that we created here. We got out of my car and Bella waited for me as I offered her my hand before walking up to her father's grave.

She was right. It was peaceful here. We walked softly until we reached the large black head stone that read:

_ Charles Swan_

_ Beloved Father_

Normally I would stand there silently, allowing Bella to tell her father whatever it was that she needed him to know, but this time like I said, I had my own plans.

I found myself taking a deep breath as I started my private conversation with Charlie. I told him that I was thankful for him and his daughter. I told him that I loved his daughter more than the air I breathe and more than my own life. I told him that I would do everything within my power and beyond to see that her dreams come true. I promised him that I would protect her from everything even if what she needed protecting from was me.

I as I rambled silently to him I could almost hear his laughter around us, but I didn't mind since I knew that he would be happy that someone was looking out for her. Once I said my peace I thanked him and then waited for Bella. I watched her like I always did, waiting to see if she was going to fall apart afterwards. I prayed that she wouldn't, but knew that if she did I would be there to help her put it all back together just as I had promised Charlie.

Once she was done we went back home and slipped off to my room. No one noticed, wither that or no one cared. I held my girl as she cried and then once she had let it all out I kissed her until she laughed, promising her that I would always make it better for her, which caused her to laugh more at me.

The weeks passed and soon Emmett was gone. I cannot say that I was sad to see him go. I was actually beyond happy. The only hard part about him leaving knew that we would follow after him.

The rest of the summer was spent in a blur of kisses, sex and late nights with Bella. It was truly the best way to spend the summer.

We had also received word that Bella's book would be published. I knew it would. Her writing was too good to ignore and the story was amazing even if it was our story in away. I just knew like I always had that she would be amazing.

We had spent our last night in Washington before leaving for Iowa in our meadow. I knew that I would miss the place while we were 2000 miles away. Bella was thrilled and giggled excitedly as she took hold of my hand before walking out there.

We sat under the stars for a while before the rain started once more. We kissed in the rain, telling each other how wonderful our new home was going to be. It was all lies to help ease our fears as we went out to face the unknown. If only I had known that everything was about to change now.

**AN:**

**Hello! Thanks for reading! This is a short chapter to help just us get to Iowa and then pretty much from there it's a different story than Broken since it will be what happened to Edward while they were apart.**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	19. Arriving in Iowa

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

When we left for Iowa it was with a bit of fanfare. Mom was dying since we were leaving. She hated it. She hated that she was being left behind. I had overheard dad and her talking about her being upset that Bella and I were leaving. She had said that she felt unwanted. It made me sad to think that our departure was causing her some pain.

Mom and dad walked us as far as they could in Sea-Tac before we had to part ways. It was painful to say good bye to them, but like I said I would follow Bella anywhere and that included Iowa. I told myself that I would be back at Christmas, but that was about 4 months from now and at the moment it might as well have been 4 years.

I took Bella's hand and off we went to start this adventure. I even asked her if she was ready and she told me she was, but I could see the fear in her eyes. I wanted to tell her that it would be alright, but I couldn't so I leaned over and kissed her instead.

It took a couple of hours and a change of planes in Colorado before we landed in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, which was a city that was about 40 minutes away from where we needed to be. I checked the air port closely to see if Emmett showed up to greet us, but there no sign of him. I was happy there was no sign of him since I was in mood to start to deal with him again.

I thought back to what Dad had told me before leaving. He told me that Emmett can't help it. He told me that Emmett cared for Bella and that seeing her with me was hard. I didn't believe it. I didn't believe that if he loved Bella like all was claimed that he would be against seeing her happy and I made her happy. He just hated seeing her with me.

We finally made it to our dorm building. It was old. It was the oldest residence hall on campus and once inside it looked like it. The rooms were beaten up by previous freshmen that had stayed here. I told myself that we only had to make it through once semester since Bella and I had agreed that in the spring we would get an apartment. Mom and dad had no idea about this plan, but they didn't need to know everything that Bella and I dreamed of.

Bella had been smarter than me as usual. She had opted for a single room, so no roommate for her. I had a roommate and shockingly enough I kind of knew him from home. Seth Clearwater was one of the guys from the Indian reservation in LaPush. While he didn't go to our high school I town, Forks was small enough that everyone knew everyone so it was ok. Seth was a good guy and I really had no plans of staying in my room anyway since Bella was by herself.

I went with Bella to help her get settled and then turned to my room since she basically ordered me out.

"Hey Edward!" Seth called as I walked in our door. Seth was always the happiest person I knew.

He sat there as I unpacked a little. A lot of my stuff has been sent ahead and was unpacked for me since Seth could not stand to have the boxes sitting around since he arrived before me. I would have to try to remember that Seth had a touch of OCD when it came to cleanliness.

It wasn't long before Bella arrived and whisked me back to her room. She had everything unpacked and ready. I looked around, amazed at all the pictures that were on the walls. There were pictures of us, our family, Char and Emmett. There were a lot of pictures of just me. There was a picture of her and her Dad taken shortly before he was killed. That one was hard to look at.

"Stay with me tonight," Bella whispered against my neck as she kissed me there. As if I would leave her alone? I laughed at her words as I squeezed her tighter and pulled her on to her little dorm bed. It wasn't large like our beds at home, but it would do.

I slowly kissed her as began to pull her clothes off piece by piece. I was tired and so was she from our trip, but I needed to be with her more than I needed sleep at the moment. When she whispered _please_ to me I knew that she felt the same way. We needed to connect here since everything else felt so foreign.

Piece by piece we lost our clothes until it was just her and I naked and eager to please each other. I kissed her and touched her everywhere as I listened to her sigh in happiness. I wanted her to be happy. I needed her to be happy since if she was happy then so was I.

We both sighed in bliss as I entered her slowly, sinking in to her as if she was made of glass, not the warm vibrate girl that I loved so desperately. I continued on my quest as I listened to her whisper my name in encouragement. I smiled against her skin as her hands found purchase in my hair, tugging and pulling on it as she pulled me down for a kiss. I slid my tongue against hers mimicking the motions of me entering and receding in her body until her muscles shook from the strength of her orgasm before I finally filled her with mine.

I lay on top of her spent, panting against her neck as she held me place with her legs wrapped around my waist tightly still. I moved slightly earning a shudder from Bella as I started to kiss her face until I was kissing her lips in gratitude for her. It nice to hear her giggle as I as kissed her like this.

We laid there for a while until I finally attempted to move, which promptly landed me on the hard tiled floor of the dorm with a splat since I was still naked and kind of sweaty. It was beyond gross, but it got me a few more laughs from her and that made it worth it to me.

We were just lying there, holding each other when there was a knock on her door. I groaned as I got up and slipped on my boxers while tossing Bella my shirt so that she was covered as well before I answered her door.

I threw the door open without care and was shocked to find Emmett standing there with a big grin that quickly faded as he saw me standing there in my boxers with my hair standing up in end. It was pretty obvious what we had been doing and with Bella blushing like that as she looked around for pants while she kept hidden from the waist down under the blankets.

"Oh, hey. I was just stopping by to welcome you, but I see that you're busy so I'll come back later," Em said in a harsh tone as he looked only at Bella, ignoring me completely. I wanted to laugh at him, but I thought better of it ever since he caused ten stitches in my head from slamming me into the house head first the morning after prom.

Bella did not have time to stammer out an embarrassed response before he turned and left. I closed the door quickly since no one else needed to look in and locked it before joining my girl back on the bed.

It was bullshit that he upset her. I held her and whispered to her that Emmett was stupid. I whispered to her that he was just jealous and he was I knew this for fact. I whispered to her how much I loved her and that she can't feel bad for Emmett because he's not worth it.

When my words wouldn't take the upset look off her pretty face I kissed her until she sighed and relented to me. We made love once more while I whispered all my love for her over and over again. When we were both spent once more I held her and kissed her again earning a smile that made my heart melt.

"You really think that?' she asked me softly as I held her close on her tiny bed.

"That I love you? I know that," I replied as I kissed the tip of her nose.

"No. Do you really think that he is jealous?" she asked me in an unsure voice that surprised me. It actually surprised me that she couldn't see it.

Bella was blind to the fact that Emmett liked her. She was blind to the fact that she was beautiful and smart. She would always say how average she is, but that was so far from the truth.

"Yes, I really know that he is jealous. He is jealous that you chose me and not him," I said softly to her as I held her to my chest.

"As if there was a choice," she said softly to me, making me smile. I slid up my body a little and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"There was only you Edward. Emmett was never even an option to me," she whispered in the small space between our lips while I eagerly awaited another kiss from her as my heart pounded loudly at her words. If only Emmett knew and understood this about Bella. It would have saved a lot of heart ache for everyone.

**AN:  
Hello! Thank you all for reading!Have I told you that I love you yet today? Well, now you know!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	20. The Ring

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight.

Iowa was horrible. I had never had allergies like I was experiencing here. I was told by the locals that the corn drying in the field was the source of my allergy flare up making my life miserable. I tried to put on a happy face, but I just hated it here and to me it was just one more reason to hate Emmett since it was fault that we were here in the first place.

Emmett was slowly infiltrating himself back into Bella's life. He had set up once a week dinners as a means to stay close, but if you asked me it was so he could check up on her. I would always go through just to remind him that I was around.

Bella was loving Iowa. She blended in wonderfully, but I knew she would. I knew that she would be great no matter what college we went to because college is not like high school. No one cares who is who except for athletes. That part remained the same. If you were an athlete then people noticed you. I kind of felt bad for some of the more popular ones since their private lives were splashed all over the internet by crazed fans. It was insane really.

I spent my days going to class and being Bella. It was a nice way to be, until we heard from Bella's publisher. Her publisher had suggested an agent to help Bella get established, to get noticed if you will. Bella thought it was the dumbest idea ever, but she tolerated it.

Her agent was Victoria Stanley was aggressive, but known to be a good agent. She was known to help struggling authors launch into the writing stratosphere. We hadn't met her yet, but Bella had spoken to her by phone.

Victoria was pushing Bella to join a book tour that would start in January. She would travel the country for 12 weeks with other young authors, promoting their books while visiting large book stores for question and answering times as well as book signings.

I hated the idea of Bella leaving, but I couldn't tell her that. I couldn't tell her that I wasn't sure that I could be without her. I couldn't tell her that I had grown so dependent on her that I could not imagine being apart for twelve weeks.

Bella was also balking at the idea. She told me no way would she go without me. It made me happy and sad all at once since I knew she needed to go. This was really a once in a life time opportunity and I wanted my girl to have it. I wanted her to have no regrets. I wanted her to see the people that her writing touched. I needed her to see it so she could understand how much it touched me.

I would tell her that she should go. I would pressure her, but Bella was not one to be pressured. She would fight back and demand to know why I wanted her gone so badly. I had no response since I never wanted her gone. I wanted her always with me, but I never told her that.

One night during a fight over her going I dropped my knees in front of her. I pulled out a ring box and presented it to her. In the ring box there was a princess cut emerald ring set in a white gold band with two smaller princess cut diamonds on each side. I had brought her for her birthday, but then decided to give her something else since a ring seemed so cliché.

I brought it to be a promise ring. I knew that Bella was a little freaked out with the idea of marriage, but honestly if I had thought that she would have said yes to me I would have already proposed to the girl by now.

I watched with a bit of amusement as Bella's eyes nearly bugged out of her head at the sight of me on my knees with a ring in my hand before her.

"I'm not asking, well, not yet, but I was wondering if you know, if you would wear this promise ring?" I asked her with a laugh, but inside I was kicking myself for not being more eloquent with my words.

I could see her mind working. I could see the wheels in her head turning as she looked at me and then the ring. She was so damn cute that it made me want to laugh again.

"What exactly are you wanting me to promise?" she asked as she looked at me with a curious look that made me chuckle. What did she think?

"A simple promise that you will be mine," I replied with confidence as I looked at her with a smile.

"Yes," she replied softly and then leaned forward to grant me a kiss. I took her hand and slid my ring on her finger as she looked on wordlessly. I knew that she was nervous about marriage, but I wanted her to get used to the idea of my ring on her finger since the next ring I had in mind was much nicer than this one and it would be permanent.

We spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other. We forgot all about papers that were due and the damn tour that was looming out there. That night it was just us and our simple promise to be each other's only.

The days were passing and as they did I found that I was more home sick that I had been. I missed the rain. I missed the mountains since everything here was so flat. I missed mom and dad. It was horrible, but I was making it work. I told myself that I could do anything for my girl.

As time passed I could see Bella warming up a little to the idea of the tour, but she was still insistent that I go along with her. I wanted to go with her, but when I had contacted her agent by email she advised me that I would not be allowed. It did not make sense, but since the publisher was paying for the tour I tried to understand why they would limit it to only the authors and not significant others.

I also needed to address the idea that I would go back to Washington for the spring semester with Bella. I hated Iowa. I would hate it even more if I was left her alone while Bella was gone for the semester. I wasn't sure how I would tackle that with her, but I was fairly certain that she would be ok with it since she wasn't going to be here anyway.

I hated that she wasn't going to be with me, but I tried to put on a happy face for her. She didn't need to see how the idea of being apart was killing me. If she thought that I was having difficulties with being apart she wouldn't go and I could not have that.

Emmett was making things worse. We would meet for dinner once a week and when we did he would always have a comment to make concerning Bella leaving. He would wait for her to get up and put back her tray just in time to tell me how she would leave and hook up with the other guy author on the tour. He would tell me that Bella would move on to someone better just like we all knew she would. I hated that he knew how insecure I was about that. I hated that he got me every time with it. He would always change his line of conversation just as Bella returned so she never heard him and I never told her since it would just go into another reason as to why she shouldn't go on the tour.

One night we went out. It was nice just to get out, but the best part was that the air was thick with pending rain. I think Bella was just as giddy as I was with the idea of finally seeing some rain after almost a month without it. Who would have thought that I would miss something as trivial as rain?

We had gone to movies in hopes that as we walked home that the rain would start. We laughed together as we watched others hurry along, seeking shelter while we dared the rain to fall on us and then finally it did. I cannot tell you how breathtaking it was to see my girl stand in the rain like a crazy woman, face up towards the heavens letting the rain fall on her. I cannot tell you how my heart pounded at the sight and how much I needed to get her back to her room so I could taste the rain skin once more.

We walked relatively slowly back to the dorm, stopping to kiss as the rain fell. Once we made it back the rain picked up and so had the wind. It was going to be quite a storm that would hit and we looked forward to it. We made it up to Bella's room and just left the lights off, only lighting the tulip candle that she had brought with her from home that made her laugh as she thought of me.

I slowly peeled her clothes off of her until she was bare in front of me and then I allowed her to help me with my clothes. We kissed and caressed. I licked her skin and sighed as I tasted the rain on her. I told her in mumbled talk that I loved her and that I missed home. She understood.

I pressed back into her bed, as she moved on top of me when a loud crash of lightning and thunder occurred. It was at that moment that the rest of the building lost power, but to us it didn't matter. I watched her in flashes of lightening as well as the candle light as she moved on top of me, making me moan for her until she came. I rolled her over without ever leaving her body and continued to thrust inside her as she tugged on my hair trying to kiss me, but settling for my ear as I came as well.

It was what we needed at the time. We laid there together kissing as we came down from our high. As much as I missed home, I knew that if had her with me I would be fine.

In the morning we were still kissing and enjoying the side effects to the storm. There were no classes since the power was still out on parts of the campus and that included the building where our joint morning class was.

I was still wrapped up in Bella when my cell rang announcing a phone call from mom.

"Hey mom," I said as Bella slowly kissed my neck, moving up to my ear in a teasing manner as I swatted her away for a moment.

"Edward,' she replied softly to me and that's when I heard it. She was crying. There something terribly wrong. Mom never called crying.

Mom told me that my friend from high school Tyler Madison was killed in car wreck. He had been driving and there was a cold snap that caused icy roads. Tyler lost control of his car and hit a tree. He had died on impact.

Mom was calling since Mrs. Madison wanted me to be a casket bearer. She wanted me to have the honor of carrying Tyler to his grave. There was no way I could say no that. I quickly agreed and then left everything to mom to take care of as I handed the phone to Bella.

I could hear Bella talking with mom, but I wasn't really listening, instead I was thinking of Tyler. I was thinking of my friend who had big plans and now would never get to see them come true. I was thinking of the kid I met when I first moved here. I was thinking of Jessica since I knew they were getting serious. I thinking of how could live if something like that every happened to Bella.

I was lost in thought as my girl hung up the phone and wrapped herself around me. She was giving comfort for what she thought was me grieving my friend and I was, but at the same time I was thinking about how I could never live without her. I hugged her tighter, knowing that tomorrow I would have to leave to go back home to bury my friend.

**AN:**

**Hello! Thanks for reading! **

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	21. Washington

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I caught a ride to the Cedar Rapids airport with Seth and Bella rode along to see me off. Emmett was with us, but I tried to ignore him. He, on the other hand, could not stop staring at me and Bella with a scowl. I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes when Bella wasn't watching.

Bella had tried to get out of class, but her asshole professor denied her being able to take a test at a later date so I would be going back alone. I hated going back alone. I hated leaving Bella here, even it was for just a few days. I needed her with me, especially now, but that wasn't going to happen.

The drive to the airport was a silent one. There was nothing to say since it had all been said before. I had made arrangements with Seth for him to take care of Bella while I was gone. I knew that Bella would be pissed about it. I knew that she would say that she would be fine for a few days without me and that she was an adult, thus she did not need a babysitter, but I didn't care. I wanted to take care of her. I wanted to make sure that even though I wasn't here there was someone here that would watch over her.

At the airport Seth walked with us in, helping me with my bag so I could hold Bella's hand tighter in mine. They walked me to the point where they could go no further and then Seth excused himself as Bella and I stood there together. She was pressed tight against me, but it wasn't enough for me. I needed more so I wrapped my arms around her to hold her closer. I leaned down and pressed my face into her hair as she tried to bury herself in me. I was happy over how easy it was for her ignore Emmett as he stood there watching us, but I guess she was used to it since Emmett had always stared at us when we were together.

"Promise me that you'll be safe," I whispered into her ear as I rubbed my nose along the outside shell of her ear. I loved that she shuddered under my touch.

"I was just going to ask you to promise me that," she replied as she squeezed me tighter. She pulled her head back and looked up at me with wet eyes. She was going to cry I could see it and it killed me when Bella cried.

"I promise to be safe. I promise to return to you. I promise that I will think of nothing except you the entire time that I am gone," I swore to her as leaned down far enough to rub my nose along hers in an Eskimo kiss.

"Do you promise not to fight with Emmett?" she asked me as she brushed her lips against mine so softly that it felt like a feather being brushed against them. I guess she hadn't forgotten that he was standing near after all.

"I make no such promise," I whispered before kissing her quickly and then listened to her sigh in resignation. If only she knew how things were with Emmett. If she did know she may not be so against a punch to the face for Emmett.

I kissed her again, but this time it was slower, deeper, and more painful. It hurt to say to good bye to her even though it was just a few days. I slowly invaded her mouth with my tongue to so I could tasted her once more, not caring that people were watching us. I sighed into her mouth as she greeted me with her own tongue, sweeping against mine teasingly as we kissed.

I felt her pull her back, slowly breaking our kiss. I looked down at her and could see her studying my face. She was looking for something. She was scanning me for something and I had no idea what it was or what she wanted to know.

"Promise me you'll be safe. Promise me that you'll come back," She finally said as she held my gaze. She didn't need to make me promise to come back. I would be where she was, no question about that.

"I'll be so safe, I promise. I will come back before you even have time to miss me," I replied with a smile, even though we both knew that the last part was a lie. She would miss me as soon as I step away because it was the same for me. I twisted my ring on her finger as a reminder to her as well as myself what other promises we had made to each other.

Bella gave me one last kiss and then Seth reappeared at our side. I knew that it was time to go and with stealing one last kiss from Bella, I left her standing there beside Seth, trying not cry as I walked away from her. I refused to look back at her since I knew if I would that I wouldn't have gone.

The flight was long. I had a layover in Denver for about an hour. In those hours time I sat in the terminal that I would need to be in for my next flight. I spent that hour texting Bella, who was in class. She would tell me that Seth had informed her of his mission to keep her entertained while I was gone. I sent a text off to Seth thanking him for using the word entertained instead of protected when it came to Bella. He had texted back stating that he knew that Bella would have him by his balls if she knew the truth. This made me laugh out loud, earning stares from people as if I was crazy.

His statement was true though. Bella would be pissed if she thought that Seth was on some sort of protective duty. She ouwl not only kill him, but also me once I returned to her. The thought of returning to her made me smile. I already had it planned out. She thought I was coming back on Sunday, but I would be back Saturday night. I would greet her at her dorm door and spend the rest of the night inside of her. The thought of it made me hard in anticipation. The following morning I would take her out for breakfast and see if she was still interested in getting an apartment in January. If she said yes, we would go and look at apartments, but I already had one mind. It was close to the ped mall and newer. It was expensive, but she was worth it.

I was lost in thoughts of a future where I would come home to Bella every night when the announcement went over the loud speaker that it was time to board the plane. I sent a quick text off to Bella letting her know that I was boarding and that I loved her like crazy before shutting off my phone as I walked towards the entry way. I noticed that Emmett was a few people ahead of me in line.

Landing in Seattle was in bittersweet. I was happy to be home, but hated that I was home without Bella to bury my friend. Mom greeted me with a warm hug and then we waited on Emmett to appear. He had seemed to disappear once we landed, making us wait on him once more.

"I'm so glad to have my boys back, I just wish it wasn't for something as horrible as this," mom said as she looked Emmett and then me over with a critical eye as she gave us both a warm smile. I listen to her go on as we walked to out towards the car. I could hear her excitement to have us back, but I really just wanted to be back with Bella. The only thing that was keeping somewhat sane was that it was only for a few days and then I could be back with her.

The drive from Sea-Tac was longer than what I remembered it being, or maybe it was because I had to endure the ride with Emmett at my side. We were silent, only addressing each other when we had to and that was after mom prompted us to speak. It was tense and uncomfortable, especially since Bella wasn't there to act as a buffer between the two of us. I took a sideways glance in his direction as I thought of Bella.

I looked Emmett over and wondered what she saw in him. I knew they were friends and that was it, but I never understood why Bella hadn't wanted him, not that I wasn't grateful for that. I know that to some girls Emmett was a catch, a better catch than me anyway. He had his athleticism and he was outgoing. He seemed to be friends with everyone and then there was me. I was difficult and moody. I was quiet, not out going at all. I hated sports. I was moderately attractive, but so was he. Like I said, it never made sense to me, but I thankful all the same.

I was lost in that thought when Emmett looked over and scowled at me.

"What?" he asked in an almost a growl as he narrowed his eyes at me in a menacing manner.

"Nothing," was I responded with as I looked away. Maybe this was reason why Bella never wanted him. Maybe she could sense what an asshole he was underneath all of that charm.

Once we were back at home I missed Bella more than ever. I could see her in every room. I could hear her throughout the house as I walked through it. It seemed so damn wrong for me to here without her.

I spent the rest of the afternoon well into the night catching up with my parents. Even though a lot of my old friends were in town for Tyler's funeral I didn't want to go out. I feel like it. There was nothing to celebrate or get together over. I just wanted this funeral over and done with so I could get back to Bella.

I watched the clock knowing that Seth was taking her out. I hated that it was left for him to watch over her, but I couldn't leave her all alone in her dorm room all weekend like that. I just couldn't do it.

I waited until it was late enough back in Iowa to make sure that Bella would be back and then I called her. When she answered the phone she sounded so sleepy, but just so happy to hear from me that I could not help but to smile.

I told her how I missed her. I told her about how lonely my room was without her. I told her that I made it through dinner without coming to blows with Emmett. She seemed happy about all of this as she sighed and whispered loving things to me before wishing me a good night.

After I got off the phone with Bella I found myself wandering a bit in the house. I missed my girl and this being alone bullshit was just too much.

"Edward, what are you doing?" I heard my dad ask as I walked into the kitchen to get something to eat. I told him as much as I opened up fridge to see what was in there.

Dad called me back and sat me down. He wanted to know about school. He wanted to know about Bella. He wanted to know about us. It was odd since I could not tell exactly what he was getting to. There was something that he was hinting at and I had no idea what it was so I asked him to come out with it.

"Victoria Stanley has been around. She said that you are what is holding Bella up from going on the book tour. Is that true?" he asked me as he looked over me with a serious tone. I had no idea as to why this would bother him so much, but for some reason it did.

"Not exactly. I've told Bella she should go, you know Bella she'll only do what she wants to," I offered to him as an answer and he only nodded his head. There was something going on and I had no idea what it was. The conversation was dropped as mom came in the room and never came back up.

That night I spent alone in my old bedroom. I laid there thinking of my girl over 2000 miles away from me and prayed that she was safe and was dreaming wonderful dreams. I fought sleep all night. I think it was because I didn't have Bella beside me. It just felt odd without her here. It was like part of me was missing.

In the morning I called her as soon as I could. I needed to hear her voice. I laughed as she told me that she could not sleep without me since I felt the same way. I told her how much I loved her and that I would be back at her side before she knew it. I decided that two nights away were too many and I needed to leave as soon as possible from here.

Once I had that all set I showered and got dressed for the day. I told myself that I only had to make it through a bit more and then I would be back with Bella. I was excited just thinking about it. I needed to be back with her.

I walked down stairs and was greeted by my parents along with a woman how looked at me as if I had committed a crime of some sort. It was a hard glare from her icy blue eyes and her bright orange hair was pulled severely back into a harsh bun. I had never seen this woman before in my life, but I could tell this wasn't going to be good.

"Victoria, this is our son Edward," dad said as he gestured towards me with a wave of his hand.

"Son, this is Ms. Stanley. She's Bella's agent. She would like to talk to you," dad said as he motioned for me to sit down. I looked from the woman who was scowling at me, making what could a pretty face appear very unattractive to my mom who looked as concerned as I felt. I had no choice really, but to sit down and see what this person wanted. I could tell by her, as well as my dad's reactions, it would not be pleasant.

**AN:**

**Hello! Thanks for reading! I hope to have another chapter out by tonight if all goes well!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	22. Victoria

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I looked at Victoria Stanley as she eyed me in a considering manner. It was like she was measuring my worth with her eyes and I hated the feeling of it. I walked across the room and sat down by mom. She was the only one in the room who wasn't looking at me like I had killed someone who she was safest person to sit by.

The room was silent as we all stared at each other. It was uncomfortable at best and it made me want to leave. I was just about make an excuse o get out of there when Victoria opened her mouth.

"So, you're the boyfriend?' she asked me as if she was trying to make sense of everything. I nodded my head yes.

"You inspired the story?' she asked me as she cocked her head to look at me as if she could not believe that I could inspire any type of passion in anyone let alone someone as creative as Bella. I took a deep calming breath as I let my anger wash over me before I nodded my head once more. Mom watched me with surprise. I guess she didn't know. I wanted to laugh knowing that she would read the book and think of Bella and me each time the story turned seductive. I wanted to laugh knowing that she would read about how we had sex for the first time over Halloween in her house while she was gone. She was going to be so pissed about this and I think what will make her the most mad will be that the world will be able read about it as well.

"Well, I need to talk to you about Bella. I'm sure you are aware that she has been offered a chance of a life time. She has a chance to promote her book Edward and that is more than most young authors get. Most young authors are pushed to the way side so that the more established authors gets the lime light, but this is not the case for now. Bella has a chance to shine," Victoria said to me, speaking slowly, as if I was stupid. It was like she thought that I could not understand the importance of this tour.

I did understand the importance. I knew that this could really make her career. I knew that this was a once in a life time opportunity for her. I knew all of this.

"I need you to convince her to go on the tour," Victoria said with a confident voice that surprised me. It was as if there was no other option, but for Bella to go and that thought made me uneasy for some reason.

"I have told her that she needs to go. I have told her that this important for her as well as her book, but if you knew Bella at all then you would know that you can't make her do what she doesn't want to do," I said as anger colored my tone with this woman.

"Oh, but I think you can," she countered back just as fast and with just as angry of a tone towards me.

"You control more than what you think and with the right choices you can make her go," she continued on with as she leaned towards me with an evil smirk on her face. She knew nothing I can't make Bella do anything.

"Edward, do love her?" Victoria asked me, catching me off guard Justas I opened my mouth to tell her how wrong she was about me controlling Bella. I stopped midbreath and regrouped as I tried to figure out what angle she was working.

"Yes, I love her," I replied irritated that she even questioning this. There was no questioning my love for Bella. It was real and very strong. It consumed me most of the time.

"If you love her than you have thought of her future right?" she asked me as she scooted closer to me from the seat she had taken across from me on the coffee table.

"Yes, I can only think of a future with her in it," I replied as I looked her over. This woman was working towards something. I could feel it.

"So, you see the two of you doing what exactly?" she asked me as she looked around the room as if there was a chart or poster telling her of my plans.

"I see marrying her and finishing college. Maybe moving back to Seattle, Bella like the rain and I miss the area," I replied as I watched mom's eyes. She didn't look surprised at all over my omission, but dad did. He looked somewhat shocked.

"I see going to med school so I can be a doctor and I see Bella writing," I said with more conviction as I looked at Victoria, hoping that my dreams of the future were throwing her off at little. If they were a person could not tell by her face. She looked just as calm and confident as she had been.

"Any children?" she asked me with a smile. It was a smart like smirk as if I was going right along with her plans.

"Yes, we'll have children. More than one, Bella hated being an only child," I offered as Victoria's smiled widened for me in a sick manner.

"Well, that's quite a plan. How will Bella write when she is busy taking care of your children while you are either at medical school or working long hours? When will she have time write?" Victoria asked me as she looked at me with a smile.

I hadn't thought about that at all, but I was not about to share that with her. I just rolled my eyes. It was a childish response, but it was the first thing that came to mind.

"Did you know that less than two percent of marriages between high school sweethearts go the distance? Wasn't Bella's mom and dad high school sweethearts? How did that work out?" she asked me with a fake smile that made me sick to my stomach. She knew. She knew what happened with Bella's parents.

"That's different. We are not them," I countered back as I felt anger course through me know.

"You don't know us so don't pretend like you do!" I yelled at her as she continued to smile at me, which only caused me to be angrier that what was needed.

"You're right. I don't know this wonderful love that you and Bella have, however I do know history," she offered with a sly smile that made me sick. I had no idea what she was speaking of.

"I spoke with Bella's mother," she said as she looked from me to my mom in a knowing manner. I watched as my mom bristled under her gaze.

"Renee mentioned that all of you were keeping her away from her daughter. She thinks it's indecent that you allowed Bella to live with her boyfriend," Victoria said towards my mom who stared at her in shock.

"This will stop now. You will not come into my house and insult my family. You may leave now," dad interjected as mom took a deep breath to start to yell at her. I watched as Victoria quickly back peddled stating that with Renee it was obvious that it was a case of sour grapes and northing more when it came to my parents; however she did say that Renee made some good points and spoke of her life with Charlie.

"She said that she was too young and if they had waited until they were older she would have been fine. She blamed Charlie for stealing her dreams. Did you know that Renee used to be a photographer? She even had a show in Seattle in the art district there," Victoria said as she looked at me with sad ice blue eyes that made me uneasy. I shook my head no since Bella had never told me any of this.

"She had to give it all up once she had Bella. Once Bella was born it was all about getting Charlie to advance so their family could live. It became all about Charlie's dreams and Renee's got forgotten," Victoria said with a sigh as if she felt bad for Renee.

"It's like that a lot you know. The woman's dreams get pushed to the wayside for the man's dreams. I know that you would never want that for Bella though," Victoria said in a sweet voice as I felt a knot in my stomach form. I could never do that to Bella. Her dreams are too important. She needs to share them with the world. My girl is amazing and the world should know how amazing she truly is.

I sat there stunned into silence. In a way I knew she was right. Bella would give up everything for me. I knew this for fact. I knew that she would put everything on hold for me if that was what she thought she needed to do to make my dreams come true. She would sacrifice and do it all with a smile just so I could achieve what I wanted. I loved this about her, but I also hated this about her. I hated that I would be the one to hold her back.

"Edward, there's still time to change things. You can make sure that she follows her dreams. You can make sure that she doesn't end up bitter and hating you like Renee hated Charlie. I know you don't want her running off with the first man that offers to make those long lost dreams come true," Victoria said in a soothing manner.

She was right. I did not want to lose Bella. I could not lose Bella. She was my everything and my anchor in a chaotic world. I loved her too much to lose her like that. The thought of another man loving my Bella, touching her, making her promises made me feel as if I was dying inside. It was painful and dark. I wondered if Charlie Swan felt this way when his Renee left him.

I looked over at Victoria and I was sure she could see the lost expression on my face. She gave me an answering sad smile in return.

"You need to give her wings to fly. She needs to have the freedom to explore and live. She needs to follow her dreams and not worry about yours," Victoria said with a sigh as she looked at me while nodding her head in a comforting manner.

I had no idea what she was suggesting. I could not think about what she wanted me to do. What did she mean she needed wings to fly? I had always encouraged Bella in her writing as well as this damn tour. Victoria must have noticed my confusion since she started to speak again, but I could not believe the words that she was saying or what she suggested.

"Edward, you need to break up with her. It will give you both the distance you need to make sure that forever is the right decision for the both of you. She needs to be able to live and learn just like you do. She needs to follow her dreams just like you do since I know you don't want to be the one to stop her. I know in my heart that you are a good man who only wants the best for the woman he loves, except this time the best isn't being with you," she said in a soft manner.

"You need to let her go," she said with such finality that it took my breath away.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	23. Dad

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Edward.

"Leave her!" I exclaimed in shock as I stood and faced Victoria head on. This was her solution? This was what she came to tell me.

"Yes," she replied calmly as if she had suggested nothing of great consequence.

"If this awe inspiring love of yours is true then you will find a way to be together when the time is right," Victoria said with a patronizing sneer on her face. It was at that moment in time that I ever questioned the thought of never hitting a woman.

I stood there and yelled at her. I poured my heart out and told her that she was insane. I told her that Bella's future was my future as well so I would never do anything to hurt her. I told her that she was wrong.

As I stepped closer to her my dad stepped between us as mom demanded that she leave. My words followed her out the door as I continued to yell at her retreating form. It was then that I discovered that Emmett had been watching the whole scene unfold from the steps. Ours eyes locked and he shook his head in disgust at me.

Dad tried to speak calming words as he stood before me, but it didn't matter I was mad and rightly so in my opinion. Who did this woman this she was to come here and question me concerning Bella? Who would have even told her that I would be here since under normal circumstances I would be in Iowa with Bella? Who would have told her that Bella would not be here?

I looked at my dad and in that instant I knew it was him. He had told her that I would here without Bella. He agreed with her.

"Dad, did you tell her I would be here without Bella? Do you agree with her?" I asked him sounding a little crazed even to myself. I had to know if he had brought her here to talk to me. I had to know if it was him.

I watched as his refused to look at me, but I could see the guilt in his eyes even as he looked away. The motherfucker brought her here to get me out of the way. I stood there shocked as I gawked him. I had always thought that he was supportive of Bella and me. It was him that I first went to even attempt to win her back. It was Dad who helped me all along so I was lost as to why he would want us apart.

"Edward, you two are so young," he said softly, in a calming manner, but it obvious that guilt was coloring his tone.

"What does that matter?" I asked him, confronting him about this cluster fuck.

"It matters. You heard her…" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"Yes, I heard her go on about lies. She doesn't understand and obviously neither do you," I replied back, trying to calm down. I needed Bella now.

"Edward, she's right you need a chance to explore life without being tied to someone and Bella, she has the world at her doorstep. Don't you want her to be sure about you?" he asked me in a pained voice as if this hurt him as much as it was hurting me, but that just wasn't possible.

I looked at him in disbelief and just walked out of the room. I continued walking until I was out the front door. I walked past mom as she called my name for me to stop, but I didn't. I made it to the garage where I pulled the tarp off my car and then got in. I needed to leave. I needed to get away. I needed my girl.

I started the car and then I left. I drove until I was at the turn off to our meadow. I wanted Bella. I needed Bella. I needed to hear her tell me that I was not holding her back. I needed to hear her say that she believed in us too.

I grabbed my phone and called her. I needed to hear her voice.

"Edward," she sighed into the phone as she answered the call. Just hearing her voice took my anger down a bit. I could tell by her voice that she was smiling.

"How are you my girl?" I asked her, trying not to sound as choked up as I felt. I didn't need her to know that I was upset, it would only upset her.

"I'm lonely," she replied simply. It broke me that she was lonely.

"Isn't Seth keeping you company?" I asked her concerned that Seth had dropped the ball for me concerning her.

"Oh, yeah. He's fine, I just want you instead," she said with a smile in her voice that warmed my heart.

"I'll be back before you know it," I whispered as I looked at the trees around me.

"Not soon enough," she whispered back and I could hear the near tears in her voice. Fuck.

We spoke for a while. I told her that I was at the meadow. I told her that I missed her so much. I told her that I wished she was here or better yet that I was back in Iowa with her and that only made her laugh.

"Bella, do think that you'll go on tour?" I asked her as I tried to figure out how to ask her if she thought that I was holding her back somehow.

"Where is this coming from?" she asked with an irritated sigh. I knew that she was tired of me asking, but I had to know.

"Edward, I told you I would go during the summer months only and only with you," she replied in a harsh tone.

"I don't want to hold you back," I nearly whispered to her as I waited for her response.

"You could never do that, babe," she replied confidently, making me smile even if she didn't know it.

"Would you go without me?" I asked her suddenly, catching her off guard a bit.

"Well, only if had to, but I don't want to. I want to go with you and I will wait to go until it's good for you as well," she replied quickly to me. My heart started to pound at her words. I didn't want her to wait for what was good for me and I told her this.

"Edward, like or not I will do whatever is needed so that it works for you as well. I won't sacrifice your future for mine," she replied back in a steady tone. I could tell she had thought about this by the tone of her voice. She was ready and willing to give up her future for mine. I just could not allow that. I knew what I would have to do.

"I love you Bella," I said as I looked at the trees outside of my window.

"I love you too," she cooed back at me which only broke my heart more.

We ended the call with my promise to call her after the visitation tonight. I sat there for a moment after I hung up debating over what I needed to do. I couldn't have her give up everything for me. I couldn't be that selfish. I couldn't live with myself if she did that and that was Bella's plan. She was going to do what was best for me, no matter what it cost her. I would have to stop her and the act of stopping her would kill me. I would have to leave her and pray that she understood why.

**An:**

**Thanks for reading! Hey in case you care, I'm on twitter. Come follow me at mamasutra73. **

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	24. The start

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat in the car until I had to drive back home to change for Tyler's visitation. I didn't want to go back there. I didn't want to see dad. I didn't want to see any of them, but that would not be what happened. I pulled up and parked in the garage, driving by the porch and as I did I saw mom waiting for me.

I walked up to her and her face fell as she looked at me. Mom had always been able to tell what I was thinking and this day no different. She knew that I had decided to leave Bella.

"Don't do this Edward," she said in angry tone that surprised me. I would have thought that she would happy about this since she had been against us from the beginning.

"Don't do what?" I asked her in the best innocent voice that I could muster, but really I didn't care.

"Don't break up with her," she nearly whispered with a pained look on her face as she looked at me sadly.

"Your father is wrong!" she yelled in the direction of the house so that dad could hear her telling him off to which I heard a door slam inside.

"Mom, please?" I asked, hoping that she would drop this. I just didn't want to think about it.

"I will not drop this Edward. Your father is wrong and if break up with her it will be a huge mistake, possibly one that you can't correct," she said with a sad sigh as I started to walk away from her. What did she know? She never wanted together to begin with.

I went up to my room, avoiding Emmett and Dad so I could be alone. I had to change to go to this visitation, another thing that I did not want to do. It did not take me long to change and once I was in my dress pants and shirt and tie I walked out into the hall to find Emmett waiting for there like an executioner. The somber look on his face told me everything I needed to know. It told me that he wanted to talk and the conversation would not be pleasant.

I looked at him and waited for him to speak. If wanted to talk to me then he could make the effort, not me.

"I thought we could ride together," he said lamely as he stood there in the space between my room and what was Bella's room. It was very much like old times, except Bella wasn't here with us. I nodded my head in agreement. It didn't matter anymore.

We left the house silently as mom and dad glared at each other in the front room. Since my car was out I would drive. I can't think time Emmett and I were in the car alone together. Maybe this would the time that he kills me since after today, nothing would surprise me anymore.

"I think what you're doing is noble," he offered randomly as he looked out the window, away from me.

"What?" I asked him unsure if I had heard him right.

"What I mean is that, I know you love Bella, it's obvious if you are willing to give her up so she can have something better," he said as he turned to look at me with serious eyes that made me nervous.

"I just want her to have everything that she could ever wish for," I offered lamely to him, but it was the truth. I only wanted Bella to be happy and have everything her heart could desire.

"I think she deserves better too," he said quietly, but before I could question him we were at the funeral home. The lot was packed and I could see old classmates walking in. I was not in the mood to deal people. I wanted to go home. I wanted Bella. I wanted to figure out a way that I could have her and not wreck her in the process.

I parked the car and went in with Emmett at my side. There were people everywhere. We made our way through the crowd to give our sympathy to Tyler's parents. They looked broken, but not nearly as bad as Tyler's sister. I was later told that she was in the car with him, but she survived while he didn't.

I avoided the crowds the best I could, but in the end I was forced to interact with people. I was forced to talk and be social while I felt like I was dying inside. I wanted out of there. I caught up to Emmett and told him to find another ride home. I had just turned to leave when I walked right into Tanya.

She looked surprised to see me and I am sure that I wore a similar look on my face as well.

"Hey Edward, I thought you were in Iowa with Bella," she said with a smile. I looked at her and wondered how I ever thought that she could replace belle in my life.

"I was. I came back for this," I said and then explained how Bella was still there waiting for me.

Tanya seemed pleased by this and then pulled her step brother Garret up to her side with a bright smile. She then told me that they were together. It was odd, but that was Tanya. I could not fault her though since she seemed happy and so did he. We stopped long enough for a passerby to snap a picture of all of us together at her request. I guess she was taking pictures with a lot of our other classmates.

I left the funeral home with a sick feeling in my heart as I thought about Bella. I drove aimlessly until I found myself in front of the Forks Cemetery. I drove in and parked by the area where Charlie Swan was buried. It seemed like a good idea to have a heart to heart with Bella's dad over what I was about to do.

I got out of the car and walked over to his grave. They city had installed a personalized bench which gave me a place to sit outside of the damp ground. I sat there and silently apologized to him for letting him down. I told him of my plans to let his daughter go. I told him that letting her go was the last thing that I would want to do, but I just couldn't be that guy who stood in her way. I just couldn't him.

I told Charlie how much I loved his daughter and that I didn't think that we were too young. I told him that leaving her would be the hardest thing I would ever do, but I wouldn't do it unless I was sure that she would be ok and watched over by others in my place.

I stood up and awkwardly thanked him for his time. I asked him to watch over Bella for me and if he had any way to bring her back to me as soon as possible since I didn't know how I was going to survive without her. The sky opened up at that moment and the rain fell as I sat there until I finally stood up and turned to go back to the car.

I drove around for a while longer until I finally had to go home since there was no were else to go. At home I quietly slipped inside as not to disturb my parents, but with all the noise they were making I don't think they would have noticed me anyway. Mom and dad were fighting. I could hear their angry word to each other and it surprised me.

"How could you?" I heard mom say to dad in a very accusatory manner.

"What? Do you honestly believe that this is forever for him? He's a child!" I heard dad yell at her. They had to be talking about me and the thought of it made me sick to my stomach.

"You don't know! Have you seen the way they look at each other?" she countered back.

"I have and we should be happy that we are not grandparents yet," dad said with a sigh.

"Carlisle, this is wrong. Him breaking up with her is wrong. So, he wants to marry her? They aren't getting married tomorrow. Who's to say that Bella would even agree that fast?" mom said with a tied sigh. She was right. Bella was not the biggest fan of marriage due to what happened with her own parents.

"Esme," dad said sounding just as tired as her.

"You cannot hold your past mistakes against Edward," mom said in a harsh tone that surprised me. What past mistakes? What was she talking about?

"I can't watch him go off with her. He's too young and what if they have a child? Do you know what that would do to his future?" dad said in a tone that showed his panic over the situation.

"I know that you're worried, but Edward, he's not like you and Bella is not like Elizabeth," mom said with a sigh that seemed to say that she was finished with him.

My mind was racing. I had no idea who Elizabeth was, but the mention of her name seemed to silence dad. I tried to move without making a sound so that way I could escape to the upstairs, but mom and Dad started back up once more.

"Carlisle, we are the only family that Bella has. If Edward and she break up she has no one," mom said in a forlorn voice that reminded me that she was right. I hadn't thought about how our break up would affect her with mom. Would Bella still call mom or would it be too much now that I would gone from her life. An ache settled in my chest as I thought of not being in her life.

"Bella has family,' Dad replied in a firm tone.

"Bella has a head stone where her father once was and a mother who could give a damn about her!" mom yelled at him in anger.

"She won't come back around and she'll be alone," mom said as the anger trailed off into sadness once more.

"You can't save them all Esme," dad replied and with that I went up stairs. I was done with them. I could not stand to hear one more thing they had to say.

I reached my room and by the time I got there my heart was pounding in my chest. I couldn't do this. I couldn't give her up. I flung open the door and flopped down on my bed as the ache in my chest intensified over thoughts of no Bella.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	25. Talking with mom about the past

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I lay in bed for a while letting the pain wash over me as I wavered back and forth in my thoughts of ending it with Bella. I could not imagine not being with her. I could not imagine what I would do without her. I could not imagine what she would do without me.

Mom was right. If I ended it with her she wouldn't come back to my family. I would be here and it would make it uncomfortable. I kept telling myself that her relationship with mom was stronger than that. I had to believe that she would turn to mom once more just as she had when we were fourteen. I knew she would never turn away from mom. She loved her too much to do that no matter what I did. I tried comfort in that thought, but there wasn't a lot of comfort to be found.

I lay in bed and tried to sleep, but sleep wasn't coming. I had promised Bella that I would call her, but I hadn't. I wanted to, but I knew that I needed to start distancing myself from her now if I was going to do this. I told myself that this could be the first promise that I would break for her.

After a few hours of laying there I got up and decided that maybe I just needed to accept the fact that sleep would not come that night. I walked downstairs in our silent house as I thought of my girl back in Iowa. I wondered if she was worried because I hadn't called her. I wondered if she was ok.

"You should be asleep," I heard mom say as I walked by a dark living room. She scared me by being there and worried me at the same time as to why she was sitting in the dark.

"I know, but I can't," I replied simply. There was no need to lie to mom.

"Edward…" she began in a defeated tone. I knew where this was going. This would be her telling me once more what a huge fucking mistake I was making. This would be where I would tell her that I only wanted the world for Bella even if that meant that I was not a part of that world. My girl deserved only the best.

"Mom, I only want the world for Bella," I said in a tone that sounded defeated even to me.

"Yes, I know, but just hear me out ok?" she asked me as she patted the seat next to her on the couch for me to come join her there. Once I sat down she reached over and took hold of my hand to give it a squeeze in a loving manner.

"Sweetheart, your father brought that woman here to try to talk you into breaking up with Bella. He's worried that you're too young to be so serious about a girl and you just confirmed his fears by announcing your plans to marry her," mom said with a humorless laugh that surprised me.

"That woman, Victoria, she doesn't have Bella's best interest in mind so remember that," she said as she sighed a little and then stood up taking my hand with her. She pulled on me until I stood up and followed her into the kitchen. She let go me to turn on the stove to heat the tea kettle.

"She is Bella's agent and she stands to make a certain percentage of money for every appearance that Bella makes on this tour. She is not concerned about Bella's future. She's concerned about her bank account and that is all," mom said with a disgusted tone. I wanted to believe her, but I knew that somewhere inside of all that Victoria said there were some truths.

"Mom …" I started to say, but she interrupted me.

"No, Edward. Victoria Stanley is only interested in herself not Bella. She doesn't care about her, she only cares that Bella makes her money. Sure, she wants you gone, it makes sense you know? You are an influence on Bella that she cannot be, so you're a threat,' mom said in finality that surprised me.

"She was right about things though. I don't ever want to be the guy that holds Bella back. I couldn't stand it if she ever hated me because of that," I said as I looked away. The thought of Bella hating me killed me inside.

"Bella is not Renee, you'll do well to remember that," mom said stiffly as she poured water into the awaiting cups for us. I knew Bella wasn't like Renee, but still I couldn't live my life knowing that I held her back.

"Edward, your father, well, he went a little off the deep end concerning you and Bella. I need you to understand why," she said with a sad sigh as she handed me my cup of tea.

I took the cup and then sat down at the table while mom cut us each a slice of chocolate cake that she had made just for me that night.

"Your dad was married before him and I ever met," she started to say in a soft voice and a sad smile on her face. I stared at her in shock. This must be the Elizabeth they had mentioned earlier.

"He met her in high school. They fell in love and were married before leaving for college," mom continued on and then took a sip of tea.

"You know your father, he always wants to do things right and he wanted to love with her so to him marriage was the only option," she said with a slight laugh. It was true Dad could be very old fashioned, so that part did not surprise me.

"Your grandparents loved Elizabeth and went along with it as did her parents. Everything was wonderful until college started. They found themselves going opposite directs a lot. Carlisle told me that they fought a lot and Elizabeth would take comfort in their best friend," mom said with a sigh as she looked over, out the window.

"About two years in to the marriage just as your dad was about to turn twenty one Elizabeth came to him crying saying that she was pregnant. Your father, being the way he is, told her how happy he was even if that was so far from the truth," mom continued on as she looked back at me with her blue eyes tinged in sadness. I sat there marveling over the fact that I might have a half sibling out there somewhere.

"It was then that Elizabeth told him that the baby wasn't his. It was his best friend's child. She told him that she wanted a divorce, she loved the other man and he loved her. It crushed your father and caused all sorts of family problems for him that carry on into today," mom said sadly as she picked up her cup again to bring to her lips.

"The man, your father's best friend was his brother Marcus. Elizabeth had an affair and left him for his brother," mom said as I gasped like a fool at this information as if it were a bad talk show moment. Uncle Marcus and Aunt Elizabeth. My mind was spinning over the facts. This explained why we never got together with them. This explained why when we had to Aunt Elizabeth would avoid dad and Uncle Marcus would go over board to try to make dad interact with him.

"I met you dad after all of that happened. It took a while for him to trust women and, as you know, he has never trusted Marcus again, or Elizabeth, for good reason obviously," mom said as I sat there slack jawed over her words.

"This is why your dad is so concerned about you. He sees the past repeating itself with you, Bella and Emmett," mom said as she took my plate with cake still on it untouched.

"Bella would never, ever…" I said as a course of anger raced through me. How dare he assume that Bella would be so horrible like that? How dare he assume anything concerning me and Bella?

"I know dear, Bella loves you and always has. Poor Emmett never stood a chance, even though I will say has tried hard with her," mom said in a sympathetic tone as she smiled and took my hand once more, trying to calm me as horrible images of Bella with Emmett filled my mind. I felt myself start to get sick at the thought of her loving him, touching him, and kissing him.

"I'm telling you all of this so that way you understand why your father is the way he is concerning this. He's just worried that's all," she said softly as she gave me a smile that helped some of the anger dissipate a little.

I sat there silently thinking of the past and now everything made sense. It made sense why we never went around dad's family. It made sense as to why we never got together with Uncle Marcus once grandma and grandpa died. It made me feel bad for dad, but at the same time there was no comparison to his life and mine.

"There is nothing to worry about," I replied to her and she frowned at me.

"I also want you know that if you break up with her I won't help you. You're on your own with it Edward,' she said and I could hear the anger rising in her voice.

"If you leave her you are basically leaving her alone," mom continued on with an edge to her voice.

"She will have you and the world at her door step," I said flatly, using dad's words form earlier, which only seemed to piss her off more.

"No, Edward. She won't have me because it will be too close you," mom said angrily and then stood up to leave.

"Go one with your horrible plan to leave her. Like I said I won't help you with it and when she moves on from you, and yes she will, I don't want to hear you cry about it," mom said with anger coloring her words before she left me in the kitchen alone.

**AN:**

**Hello all! Thanks for reading!**

**Take care,**

**Mamasutra**

**xxoo**


	26. Chapter 26

Hello!

Sorry to get you hopeful that another update was out there, but I had to share this with you and really had no other way to do so. Forgive me and please know an update is on the way!

For starters, I wanted to thank the very kind person who took their time to nominate me for The Twinklings Walk of Fame Award in the category of Hopelessly Devoted (Most Reliable Author). When I received the email alerting me that I had been nominated I was shocked and humbled that someone thought enough me to toss my name in the hat. Please know who ever you are that your act of kindness made my weekend! I am honored beyond belief and a little star stuck as I look at the other writers on this list.

While I am not one of those people who will come to you and say vote for me. That is just not my style. I will say go check it out and see all the wonderful writers that you honored me by suggesting that I was as faithful to their readers as what they are. Go vote for some awesome fics & amazing writers!

http(.)thetwinklingswfa(.)blogspot(.)com

Secondly, I have to let you know about the launch of a most amazing blog that I share with Icarustosun. It is a blog all about angst stories! So if you love angst this is the place to be! We will be highlighting, rec'ing and reviews all things angst. It will also have interviews or Q & A's with some of the great writers out there. Just as a teaser I will let you know we have Chrometurtle from Expectation and Other Moving Pieces in queue along with Sammielynnsmom from Blind Intentions and first up Bronzehyperion from Bring on the Wonder. It will also be a place where teasers from my stories may be shared as well as just a general place to find good angst stories that I know you love! Please come check us out!

http(:) angst-thenewfluff(.)blogspot(.)com

Until next time….

Take care,

Mamasutra

I hope you


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